Keep hope alive during a marriage crisis

In almost every relationship, there will come a time that a crisis has to be faced and dealt with, sometimes at the risk of losing the relationship. In marriage, this is even more true than in other relationships. It is extremely difficult for most people to see their marriage in a crisis situation, since for many people this is the most important relationship they have ever, or will ever, have. It is one that should last a lifetime and it can. There is no marital situation, excluding that in which one or both partners are endangered by the other, that can't be overcome.

Sometimes, the crisis may seem so huge that it simply cannot be overcome. You might begin to lose hope, but as long as at least one partner is willing to put forth some work and begin to do some damage repair, hope is still alive. Do not buy into the lie that there are some things that just cannot be "fixed" and have to be the end of your relationship with your spouse. It isn't true and my own marriage is proof of this.

Most people believe that the worst thing that can happen to a marriage is an affair. It breaks down trust and hurts almost unbearably. That is what I found my own marriage facing one year ago. Today, my husband and I have found the love that we were meant to have from the beginning, but had lost somewhere along the way. The one thing that I held onto through it all was hope and that hope saved the marriage that could have been shattered. Hope fuels healing, but how do you keep it alive when everything in you is saying that it would be easier to just let go and move on?

1.       Remember the commitments that you made when you said those vows? They pretty much covered a world of crisis. Too often, people say them and don't really even pay much attention. Whether you did or not, you made them and those promises weren't to be taken lightly. Go back and review them with a new attitude of resolve to keep them...for better or worse.
2.      Keep yourself healthy and strong. It is important that when you are in a crisis state, you take care of yourself so that you can better deal with each situation that you are encountering. Be sure that you are eating healthy, getting exercise, going out for fresh air daily, and taking time to just be quiet with your thoughts and feelings.
3.      Don't assume that there has to be love during the crisis. It's certainly nice when there is, but marriage is not dependent on it being there every second of every day. Sometimes, unfortunately, the love may wane for a time, or even seem to be gone altogether, but it can come back to life. The two of you can find your way back to the beginning when you fell in love with each other and remember the reasons for it. When you do, it is a beautiful thing.
4.      Understand that marriage is not always a 50/50 deal. There are times that it will be you who is giving the full 100 percent. If you are to have any hope of saving your marriage, you must accept that and be willing to give and give and give some more. It may not be fair, no one ever said that marriage would be. It may be tiring, but what work isn't? It will, though, be your most important work. Don't give up under any circumstances.
5.     Keep your faith alive and well. Sometimes, it is only the grace of God Almighty that will hold you, and your marriage, together. Marriage was His divine plan in the beginning and He knew that it would be the strongest and most essential relationship in any of our lives. We need one another. We were created for one another. In your heart, you probably still know that. If it were not so, why would the concern come of keeping hope and the marriage?


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