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When you are head over heels in love, you want all of your friends to feel just as excited about your guy as you do. But sometimes your pals aren’t big fans of your man, no matter how much you want them to approve. If that’s the case, how do you remedy the situation without losing either your friends or your love interest?
The first step is to determine whether or not you are painting a one-sided picture of your romance for your friends. It’s easy to focus on the negatives of your relationship, even if your significant other is nothing short of perfect 99% of the time. It’s a common girl-talk trap: you feel like you’re boasting if you talk about the lovey-dovey moments in front of your single friends, so you decide to vent instead.
This can be particularly problematic when your friends haven’t spent much time with your guy and are basing their evaluations primarily on what they’ve been hearing from you. If you decide that this describes your situation, there’s a fairly simple solution: make a concerted effort to spend more time talking about what is going right in your relationship. You can also plan more interactions between your friends and your boyfriend, and hopefully his charm will speak for itself.
Unfortunately, more often than not, women put on the blinders when they are in love and fail to pick up on the legitimate problems that only an outside party can see. If your friends are giving blanket negative statements, try asking them what it is about him specifically that they don’t like. If it’s a small thing, such as swearing too much, it’s probably worth asking him to tone it down in front of your friends for the sake of good relations. If it’s a larger issue, think carefully about the merits of the criticism, particularly if it is coming from a friend who knows you well. Sometimes it takes a third party to point out that something is seriously amiss.
At the end of the day, your man is dating you and not your friends, but that doesn’t mean that you should consistently rely on the opinions of either party instead of what your heart tells you is right. Just remember that you need both friends and lovers in your life, so if you can’t find a way for the two to coexist peacefully, it may be time to move on.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA