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| || || | Usually at the beginning of a relationship you want to spend as much time together as possible. Everything is new and you quite simply cannot get enough of each other. You cannot bear spending even a day apart.
As your relationship matures and you are used to each other, things can become comfortable very quickly. It is easy to see you and your partner as one unit and not two individuals. It’s important to maintain your own independence within a relationship.
The easiest way to do this is by spending regular time apart. It helps if you each have your own interests and a separate life outside the two of you. Spending a couple of weeks apart each year is also a good idea so you can nurture yourself.
It’s nice to have time to yourself to reflect on things. Often your judgement can get clouded. Yet taking an objective step back can be valuable. Your relationship will deepen as you won’t take each other for granted. And your interests outside each other will bring another dimension to your relationship.
Only you and your partner can decide how much time you both need. Everyone’s tolerance level is different. Some couples will be able to spend much more time apart than others. There is no right or wrong amount of time. Whatever works for you both is what you should go with.
The only caution is not to spend too much time apart that you drift in your own separate directions. It’s easy to get too independent where you feel you don’t need to be in the relationship anymore. Time spent together is just as important as time spent apart.
The trick is to find the perfect balance. Shared friends and couple friends. Shared interests and common interests. Shared family time and independent time. Shared time and time alone.
Your relationship must be nurturing both your needs and your partner’s needs without one partner growing at the expense of another. If you think this may be happening to you, time alone can be very helpful.
Perhaps it’s time for your relationship to take a new direction. Perhaps it’s time for you to develop a life like your partner has. Perhaps it’s time to go your separate ways.
Whatever you decide time alone will clear your head and help you make a wise decision without you deciding anything rash. Invest time alone into your relationship today.
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