What your Mother-in-Law Won't Tell You

Published on by CMe

 

 

 

What your Mother-in-Law Won't Tell You

 
 
   
  1. I spent a couple of decades being the leading lady; now I have a character role. It hurts to be downsized.

  2. I know he's your husband now, but he's still my son.

  3. You don't seem very confident about yourself. The littlest comment from me is taken as a criticism, so I'm very careful what I say around you.

  4. Every year, I send you a birthday present, but you never even pick up the phone to thank me. This year, I said, "That's it. No more." Yet look at me: I'm about to send another present. I guess that's how I am.

  5. We mothers say to our children, "I want you to be happy." And we mean that. What we don't say is, "But I would like to be happy too."

  6. I've bought and sold 13 houses in my life. Why won't you ask for my advice?

  7. When I visit you, I'm not coming for a white-glove inspection. I'm just coming to see the family.

  8. When I really want to talk to my son privately, I don't call your house. I call his cell phone.

  9. I'm so happy that you allow my son—your husband—to visit me on Mother's Day. It's a long trip and a big expense. I'm truly appreciative.

  10. My dirty little secret: I'm afraid that if I don't get this right, you'll cut me off.

  11. I'm in competition with your mother. She takes you on vacations every year and buys things I can't afford. All I can do is love you and babysit for you. I hope that's enough and that it's appreciated.

  12. Whenever I stay at your house, you always have my room ready, my towels, everything. You do all the right things. I'm lucky to have you!

  13. I cherish the refrigerator magnet you gave me: "Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill."

Ladies, I just had to address the subject of in laws for all my girlfriends in Montreal. The stories, the laughs, the tears, it’s all very… well… amusing. I can’t tell you how many of my friends love to vent about their in laws!

It sort of goes something like this… “My mother in law is planning my whole life, and I want to tell her to back off… My father in law gave my child a hamburger when I clearly told him we’re VEGETARIANS… My mother in law is suffocating me…” And the stories go on and on.

So, do you tell them how you REALLY feel, or do you suck it up to avoid an argument?  It’s time to get off the fence and speak your ground, ladies! Sucking it up will only poison yourself and lead to resentment towards your husbands or boyfriends. There are ways to get your message across without playing mean, or hurting feelings.

Remember, your goal must be peace in the home. Peace between you and your mate. Letting the “in laws from hell” cause friction in your marriage isn’t worth it. You’re going to have to find the nice and politically correct way of telling your mother in law, that you just gave birth, your boobs are leaking milk everywhere, your moods are swinging around like a pendulum, and her coming every day, all day, HAS TO STOP!

A few things you need to establish immediately:
  • You need to be teammates with your husband. United. He needs to make it clear that when his parents hurt you, offend you, or dismiss you, they are also hurting him. They DEFINITELY love him more than you, so if they see he’s upset, they’ll get the hint!
  • Be kind. For all you know, your mother in law has been neglected or cheated on. She’s a human being too with feelings and trying to see her with frailties will make her seem less aggressive. Tell her how you feel about the annoying stuff she’s doing, but tell her nicely. Be honest, and be kind in how you tell her. But definitely tell her, otherwise, she’ll just keep doing the same bothersome things over and over.
  • Treat your in laws as if you would a customer. Note…this is for the truly bad kind. I definitely don’t suggest this if you have great in laws, like me! Hee hee, it’s true! But seriously, if you treat them like you would a pesky customer, with respect, and let them have their say, things will go a lot smoother. Trust me.
  • It never hurts to vent. If your husband is tired of hearing about his parents, find a chat room or a girlfriend to vent to. We are often a great sounding board to bounce ideas off of.
  • And finally, laugh it off. It puts things into perspective. It’s only one aspect in your life, and sometimes, it’s actually quite funny!
And remember, they’re here to stay. You might as well make the best of them. And if they insult your cooking or tell you they doesn’t like the way you’re bringing up their grandchild, I say, give ’em big smile. Remember, you hold the power. They’ll only control you if you let them. Grab a hold of your power, women!

How have you dealt with your in laws? Any tips you can share with our readers? Let me finish by saying you don’t need to sign in with a name or email address… it can be an anonymous post. This way, the IL will never find out!

Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at  MetroSexual LA



 
 

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