| || || | There are a lot of great -- and terrible -- articles written on “lines” to say to a woman, but what about what not to say? It is my opinion that many mistakes can be avoided by keeping your mouth closed. So, without further ado, here are the 10 things you should never say to a woman.
No.1 - "Can I kiss you?"
Ask any woman and she will tell you; a man should never “ask” for a kiss. Asking for a kiss goes against everything a woman is looking for in a man. You may as well just tell her right there that you are a boy. Her answer might be “yes” if she's being polite, but her attraction meter on the inside will read a firm, “no!”
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No.2 - "Can I take you out on a date sometime?"
Similar to No. 1, a woman wants to be with a man who is a leader and in control, not someone who asks her permission to hit on her. Don’t ever ask a woman if you can take her out, just ask her out. But do it in a confident way. It can be as simple as saying, “We should hang out. What’s your number?” Or even telling her a specific place you want to take her: “Hey, let’s take a salsa lesson together, it will be fun!’
No.3 - Anything about your car, job or house that sounds like you are trying to impress her
Do you know what kind of guys brag about their cars, jobs and houses to women? Well, the truth is a lot of different kinds of guys, but women put them all in one category: guys who have nothing else to offer. I’m serious, ask any attractive woman about this and she’ll agree. Sure, you may attract some women, but even those women will be far more impressed by your material possessions if you don't mention them in conversation.
No.4 - "What do you want to do tonight?"
There is a saying that a woman likes a “man with a plan,” and it is absolutely true. When you call a woman to hang out, make sure you have a game plan. Don’t put the burden on her or she won’t see you as the type of guy who can show her a good time.
No.5 - "Do you like me?"
If I had to pick out a single phrase that shuts a woman’s attraction switch off permanently, this is it. Asking a woman a question like this is the opposite of being confident. So don’t ask, just assume she likes you, and go from there. I mean, hey, who wouldn’t?
No.6 - "I left you a message the other day, but didn’t hear back. What happened?"
This might be the most common mistake guys make after not hearing back from a woman, and while it sounds trivial, it is a big one. It took me a long time to figure out what to do when a woman didn’t return one of my messages, but I finally figured out it’s best to just ignore it and proceed as if it never happened. If you mention an un-returned message to a woman you are doing two things: 1. Showing that you care that she didn’t return it. (Hint: If you just met a woman it is too soon to care!); and 2. Giving her a guilt trip, which women see as insecurity.
No.7 - "How many guys have you slept with?"
First of all, do you really want to know? Second of all, again you are showing insecurity, especially if you ask this in the beginning. Sure, if she asks you first, go ahead. But trust me, you don’t want to be the one to start this conversation. You can only lose.
No.8 - Anything that hints at a "future"
Often when guys are hanging out with a woman for the first time and she mentions something she likes or likes to do, a guy will use that as an opportunity to hint at a future date. For example, she might say she loves Thai food, so you say, “Wow, so do I. We should go get Thai food sometime.” Stop, stop, stop, stop! While this sounds good in theory, you must remember that women not only want but need a guy who is somewhat of a “challenge.” If partway through the first date you are talking about hanging out again and again and again, she knows that you are really into her, which means the game is over and she has won. Sure, it’s nice to connect with someone when you first hang out with them, and of course you should want to do some fun activities together, but don’t let her know that she has “won you over” too quickly or you’ll come off just like every other guy she’s gone out with that is ready to “put a ring on it” after date No. 1.
No.9 - "I'll call you Friday"
Ending a phone conversation with a “next step” is a good technique if you’re trying to sell someone something, but not when you are talking to a woman. First of all, you are killing any spontaneity by being predictable. Second, you are also killing any chances of her calling you, as she has to now wait for your call or risk looking desperate. Not good.
No.10 - Anything bad about her guy friends
One of the ways a woman marks a guy as “insecure” the fastest is if he starts dissing her guy friends, especially if he hasn’t met them and doesn’t know her very well. Here’s the deal: Even if they are more than friends, you are only making yourself look like you are scared of competition from them, which to a woman screams “insecurity.” Best to just keep your mouth shut when they are mentioned and focus on your game instead.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA