What Makes You Lovable?

Published on by CMe

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What Makes You Lovable?

Do you feel lovable? If that feeling isn't something familiar, it's time to take your "Lovability Inventory." This is a great exercise to reconnect with what makes you unique and to fully appreciate everything you have to offer. The truth is that everyone has many lovable qualities, but you don't always remember them!

Here's how to create your Lovability Inventory. Take a sheet of paper and draw a vertical line down the center, creating two columns. Write "My Lovable Qualities" on top the left column and on the right side put "Why this matters to my date." Think about your lovable qualities listing them down the left side. Here are a few thought starters: I'm sweet; I have a great laugh; I'm a good listener; I'm easy to get along with; I'm a great cook; I'm sexy; I have a warm smile, etc. Then, in the right hand column, write the reason each quality is important to you and your potential mate.

Your inventory should include two different levels of characteristics. The first concerns initial attraction. What will someone notice about your from a across the room? The second area includes your personality. Together, this list explains why you are a great catch for the opposite sex.

Stretch yourself to explore all of your good points. If you get stuck, ask a close friend or family member for suggestions. After completing your inventory, read through the list again, close your eyes and allow yourself to appreciate all that you have to offer. Take a couple of deep breaths to let it sink in fully. Treasure everything that makes you unique and wonderful. Let your heart expand and fill with love and recognition for yourself. Connecting with self-love is an incredibly powerful method for opening your heart and life to new levels of loving energy.

Lastly, if you encounter rejection, (and if you're in the dating game, you will) referring back to this list can lift your spirits and remind you that you are a great catch. Just because one person didn't pick up your option, doesn't devalue all the wonderful qualities that make you special. Use your inventory to bolster your confidence and get back out there to find the love you want and deserve!

What Can I Do to Make My Husband Love Me the Way That I Love Him?

I sometimes get emails from wives who feel that the love in their relationship or marriage is not equal. In other words, they feel that they love their husbands far more than the husbands love them. I often get comments like: "my husband doesn't love me as much as I love him," or "how can I make him love me in the same way that I love him?" I will tell you how to answer these questions in the following article.

Knowing That You'll Get Better Results With Positive Reinforcement Rather Than Trying To "Make" Him Do Something: First of all, I cringe when women ask my advice on how to "make" their husbands do something, especially when that something is loving them more. You can't really force someone into doing something that they don't willingly want to do, especially if you want them to be enthusiastic and genuine about it.

And, you do want and need his enthusiasm because if your husband is only going through the motions, it's only a matter of time before he gets tired of this. And, when he does, he's probably going to be more resistant to your attempts to "make" him do something else or to reign him in again because he's going to remember how you "made" him do it the last time and he's going to get very tired of feeling like he's not in control of his own feelings.

You are far better off controlling who you can and should be controlling - yourself. Start with yourself and do whatever you can to create a more positive environment. Because people gravitate toward people who make them genuinely feel good. They will flee from people who bring about negative emotions. Always keep an eye on your husband's reactions. They will give you very important clues in whether you're eliciting negative or positive emotions.

Modeling The Behavior That You Want From Him Without Trying Too Hard Or Coming On Too Strong: The best way to "get" or "make" your husband actively participate in your marriage is to model the behavior that you want to see in him. If you want more affection, then you should be generous with the genuine affection that you give him. If you want more conversation, then you yourself should start talking.

With that said, you have to be very genuine about this. If you try too hard or come on too strong, then you only appear desperate and therefore more undesirable. Desperation is very unattractive. And, this is very commonly what I hear from some of the husbands who visit my blog. It becomes so bad, they say, that they eventually try to avoid their wife or just start to tune her out. This is not what you want. Again, if you reach this point then you are eliciting negative emotions and this is only working against you.

Loving Yourself As Much As You Love Him: This is a big consideration. Often, the wives who are trying to "make" their husbands love them are focusing solely on the husband. They are wondering what they can do to inspire him to love them more, but in the meantime, they are putting themselves last. This too, in unattractive. Men like and want confident women with a healthy dose of self respect. If you feel the need to come on very strong or to overcompensate, then your husband is going to wonder why all of this is necessary? What are you trying to detract from? What's lacking in you that you have to overcompensate? This isn't fair, but this is the way that people think. They pick up on your attitude about yourself.

If you are so insecure that you think you have to "make him" love you, then what does this say to him about how lovable you really are? Instead, you need to be confident that you are quite lovable and if he doesn't see this, the problem is with his perceptions, no with you or your qualities.

Often Space Works Better Than Forcing Your Point: Often, if you loosen your grip, you'll find that this gives your husband the room to move toward you rather than away from you. You often need to back up a little to really gain any ground. I don't mean just giving up. Not at all. You should always make it clear that you love your husband very much, but you should also have your own life and give him the space and ability to move toward you without being pulled. He's going to perceive the way he feels in a much more positive way if he feels that he, not you, is in control of it.

Yes, this takes trust and faith. It may feel risky. But, if you give him the space and present yourself as the confident and capable woman that he first fell in love with, then he likely won't need much coaxing from you and you'll both feel better about how you both got there, as no one was forced or made to do anything. Don't you want a spouse who is with you because he wants to be? Of course you do. So step back and give him the space that he needs to make his own decisions. He will love and respect you much more for it

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