| || || | It’s a fact of life: Colleagues, friends and women will consistently gravitate toward positive people. Consequently, if you want to get ahead in life, you have to find ways to project positivity. At work, you want to be the kind of guy who posits solutions, not the kind of guy who predicts problems. In the dating game, you want to be the fun guy, the happy guy, the calm, cool and hilarious guy. Brooding only works for vampires.
Look, we understand that not everything is sunshine and cupcakes. Sometimes things suck. You’ll encounter bad ideas and annoying people. You’ll have bad days. We’re not talking about ignoring the bad things in life. We’re simply suggesting you try to focus on the good things. We maintain that you’re almost always better off emphasizing the positive than dwelling on the negative. If you agree, check out our top 10 ways to project positivity.
Smiling is perhaps the simplest way to project positivity. Think about it: You smile when you’re happy, but with a little work, you can train yourself to feel happy when you smile as well. A smile shows people you’re engaged, enthusiastic and open. Smiling is also contagious. When you smile at others, they’ll find it awfully hard not to respond in kind.
- Be solution-oriented
Whenever you encounter an idea you don’t like or a lukewarm response from a group of attractive women, your first instinct should be to find a solution. How can you make that bad idea better? How can you make the flawed strategy more effective? How can you improve your rate of success with women? If your first impulse is to solve problems, rather than to dwell on them, you’ll go far.
- Be curious & engaged
Dismissive and disinterested people do not project positivity. Even though it might be difficult at times, try to remain curious and engaged as much as possible. You might start by simply asking more questions than you usually do. Even when someone says something you don’t immediately find interesting, ask a follow-up question. They’ll appreciate the attention.
You might think it’s difficult to make yourself laugh, but that’s not entirely true. The key is to maintain a certain state of mind. When you’re in a good mood, you’ll be more willing to tell jokes and laugh at other people’s jokes. You’ll trade barbs, tease your friends and colleagues, and generally keep everyone in a good mood. Ready yourself for laughter by taking a minute to enjoy your favorite things. Read your favorite blog every morning or check out the most hilarious viral video you can find. They’ll prepare you for an upbeat day.
- Don't complain
Complainers are downers, pure and simple. When talking to people, especially a prospective love interest, don’t bitch and whine. Don’t talk about the things that make you mad. Don’t sulk; it makes you look like you're in a rut.
- Say "yes"
Perhaps the best way to project positivity is to simply say “yes.” Habituate yourself to positivity by responding in the affirmative more often. Whether it’s a request to take on extra responsibility at work or a playful dare from a group of attractive women, try to say “yes” as often as humanly possible. Eventually, your positive attitude will become second nature.
- Don't slouch
Some of our top 10 ways to project positivity are verbal, some are intellectual and others are just physical. For instance, standing up straight is a great way to project positivity. The guy who slouches appears beaten and subdued, and you’re not that guy. So, keep posture on the brain with shoulders back and chin up.
- Avoid depressing topics & personal issues
When talking to someone, you should systematically avoid depressing topics and uncomfortable personal issues. Consistently try to steer conversation toward happy subject matter. Don’t be the guy around the office who always wants to talk about the war effort or the economy. Likewise, when you first meet a woman, don’t talk about serial killers, tsunamis or your mother’s battle with diabetes. Some subjects are just too serious for introductory conversations.
Grooming is another must on our list of the top 10 ways to project positivity. A poor appearance and an abundance of grooming mistakes can be off-putting. When you don’t take care of your skin, your hair and your smell, people notice -- in a bad way. So clean yourself up. Looking put-together inspires others to have confidence in you. People are more likely to take to you if you don’t look like a caveman with greasy hair.
Working out is the first tip on our list of the top 10 ways to project positivity. Exercise has numerous benefits. First of all, you’ll look better. If you’re fit and healthy, you have an edge on the competition at work and on the dating scene. Plus, working out just makes you feel good and new research shows that it allows you to better handle stressful situations. Lastly, you’ll have more energy to attack each day and each night out.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA