| || || | If you want to become the kind of guy who attracts women automatically -- and always has women in his life -- it’s important that you become an “evolved man.” You need to operate on a higher level than the average Joe. When you do, you’ll stand out from other guys, attract the women you want and get a hell of a lot more out of life in the process. Here are 10 tips to help you evolve and grow as a man -- starting today.
No.1 - Stop apologizing
Most guys who face challenges with women and dating feel they need to apologize for everything they do that other people don’t like. Too many guys do this simply to get a woman’s approval, thinking if they make themselves weak and apologetic that somehow women will actually like it. Are you kidding? However, if you make it a rule to simply stop apologizing for everything, over time you’ll build a stronger self-image, take more responsibility in your life and let other people have their judgments without it affecting you. You’ll then be able to see when it’s truly appropriate to apologize. You’ll enjoy a nice boost to your personal power and your ability to attract quality women.
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No.2 - Stop seeking approval
People who seek approval are constantly doing things so that other people will accept them. They’re looking for cues to see if people approve of them, and they continually change their behavior to what they think other people will like. They end up wearing out their welcome and being needy -- which absolutely kills attraction. Most guys do this without even knowing it. Looking for the approval of women is like a drug: The more you get, the more you want, the worse it gets -- and the less attractive you become. When you catch yourself seeking approval, shift gears and do something else. Women will love you for it.
No.3 - Stop giving approval to get it
Almost all of us guys do this one. If we find a woman we really like, we think if we let her do whatever she wants and get away with anything, she’ll love us and stay with us. In other words, we give approval in order to get it. There’s just one problem: It’s manipulative and will almost always backfire. If you’re not successful with women, you’re probably doing a lot of manipulative things you’re not aware of. Just because you’re sweet and nice doesn’t obligate her to be sweet and nice back. Dating doesn’t work that way.
No.4 - Surround yourself with successful models
If you want to be successful, surround yourself with successful models. One of the miracles of technology is that we can buy an audio or video recording, put on headphones and hear (or watch) the teachings of experts around the world, both living and dead. Compare this to plopping down on the couch, watching the news and complaining to your buddies about how screwed up the world is. Take 30 minutes a day to listen or watch a master of success, like Brian Tracy or Napoleon Hill, and your life will be transformed in a year.
No.5 - Know your purpose in life
The incredible number of choices we have nowadays is a blessing -- but it’s also a boat anchor tied around our necks, and we’re trying to swim. Confucius said: “Man who chases two rabbits catches none.” Exactly. We have so many options that most of us are confused about what path to take. We haven’t taken the time to sit down, block out all distractions and figure out what our own life purpose is. I believe you can find your purpose in life and clarify it over time. The more you act on it, the clearer it will become -- and the bigger it will become. If you don’t know what your purpose is, go lock yourself in a room with a pad of paper and a pen and don’t do anything until you figure it out. Eventually, it’ll come to you. Few guys know that this is one of the most important things you can do to become incredibly attractive to women.
No.6 - Travel
If you’re not regularly getting outside of that little bubble you live in, you’re limiting yourself and your perspective. When you expose yourself to new places, people and ideas, it’ll expand your mind and your view on things. I personally believe if everyone in the world could travel twice a year to far away countries, sit down with the people there and share a few meals, it would do a world of good. The more you travel and expand your mind, the more interesting a person you become, the more stories you have and the more attractive you become to women.
No.7 - Focus on your inner game
Because we are so instant gratification-minded, we think techniques with women are where it’s at. But the truth is this: When you work on your inner game and learn about the deeper principles that are at work, you’ll pick up the techniques along the way. If you learn from someone who just knows the tricks, when you get into real-world situations you won’t know when or how to use them when the situation changes slightly. However, if you hang out with more evolved masters who teach you the principles, it may take a bit longer, but you’ll see how the techniques fit into the bigger picture. You’ll be much better at executing the technique -- and you’ll be much more successful. Don’t get seduced by techniques. Get deep.
No.8 - Accept anxiety
Anxiety happens whenever we’re taking on something new and we need to become a beginner again. Most guys won’t try new things because they’re afraid of looking like a dumbass. Because they’re afraid of getting embarrassed, they trap themselves at their current level of development. But when you’re willing to try new things -- and even look silly for a while -- you’ll be able to see things with new eyes, and it’ll bring tremendous benefit to your life. Accept anxiety as a good thing: It means you’re learning something new.
No.9 - Enjoy the process of learning
I think it’s a tragedy that school is so boring. We have so much pain attached to the learning process that as soon as we get out of school we never want to learn anything again. However, if you learn how to love the process of learning even more than what you’re learning, you’ll spend the rest of your life learning new things and growing as a man. Continually look for new things to learn; heck, in the process you’ll meet women who love learning too.
No.10 - Teach others what you learn
If you learn something great, the first order of business is to go teach it to as many people as you can. There’s something about teaching that makes the learning stick. If someone teaches you something and then you go teach it to someone else, it gets internalized deep within you. You’ll “get it” much faster. Teach others every great thing you learn -- immediately. Then, when you need it in the future, it will pop up for you automatically. Women will notice, believe me.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA