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There’s an abundance of research showing that stressful events like job loss can be bad news for marriage.
Ever had a new puppy? It’s a tough business getting the best out of your dog so that you both enjoy and love each other. Building that bond of trust and trustworthiness needs work! Understanding puppies is much the same as understanding men.
If you let your new dog run free with no thought of discipline or training, there will be poop and puddles all over the house. He will be found humping anything available without a care in the world and he’ll run away without casting a glance over his shoulder. You’ll most probably fine him happily begging for food and attention in the nearest comfortable, inviting abode. If you train your dog properly, he’ll learn where he can relieve himself and where he cannot. He will know that he can’t run around where and with whom he pleases. He will learn not to bite the hand that feeds him.
If you go about your training in the right way, with firmness but with plenty of rewards for good behavior, your dog will become obedient, loving, loyal and your best friend.
The bond between owner and dog is one of trust. How can you cultivate this same trust between you and your man? What do you need to do to inspire mutual trust?
Here is a list of does and don’ts:
- Don’t Be A Doormat
Don’t be a pushover. Let him know where you stand on issue such as slavery, infidelity, lies and being taken for granted. Make it clear, be firm but don’t go on and on endlessly about it. Just as you would with a dog, let your man know where your boundaries are.
- Be Tender And Compassionate And Sometimes Display Tough Love
Be loving but never be scared to be tough when necessary. Never let your emotions interfere with your training. No matter how cute and cuddly he is…..he is still a dog.
- Never, Ever, Tell Anyone A Secret Your Man Has Told You.
If your man finds out that you have told a secret, that he has shared with you, he will never fully trust you again. In fact, the relationship may well be doomed because it will not blossom into an open relationship where he will tell you everything. Don’t succumb to this act of betrayal
- Never Contradict Or Embarrass Him in Public.
He might be acting like a jerk but he is your jerk and loyalty dictates that you don’t vent your criticism in public. If you belittle him, especially in front of his friends, he will resent and distrust you.
- Never Use Things He Tells You Against Him
He will never trust and confide in you if he thinks it will ultimately become ammunition. Don’t do it.
- Rein In On Erratic Emotions
Men just don’t understand wild emotional swings. Neither do dogs. Keep a lid on screaming, hysteria, and general outrageous emotional behaviors. Get yourself some Evening Primrose oil or something for those PMT times.
- Sexual Trust
Consider indulging some of his sexual requests, unless they are too way out or painful. You will probably enjoy it anyway but sexual trust is a big bond builder. Sexual slave? No. Sexual trust?
Okay, bear in the mind the above rules, get a collar, a lead and a pocket of guy treats and go out and train yourself a man.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA