| || || | With statistics indicating that half of all marriages end in divorce before the couple reaches their seventh anniversary, the focus is steadily increasing on the most common issues faced by newly married couples, and what they should do to safeguard their relationships.
Here are some of the top marriage problems for newlyweds along with some simple ways of ensuring you and your betrothed don't become just another statistic.
- Intimacy Issues
A lack of intimacy in a new marriage is one of the greatest contributing factors to the breakdown of a relationship. Besides the adjustment to being married in general, careers, money and the stressors of every day life often combine together to drain the intimacy from a marriage, causing feelings of resentment and anger to build as the couple grows further and further apart. Make time for each other each and every day, even if it's only 15 minutes to listen and really hear your spouse. By doing so, you'll be maintaining the level of trust and communication that's needed for keeping intimacy an important part of your marriage.
- Financial Problems
One of the top marriage problems for newlyweds is arguing about finances. Although money is undoubtedly an important need for survival, it shouldn't be the focus of any relationship. Whether you have separate or joint accounts, "financial infidelity," where one spouse makes decisions about finances or spends money without consulting the other, should be regarded as any other type of infidelity and, of course, strictly avoided.
- Unrealistic Expectations
Too many people enter marriage with ridiculous expectations, mistakenly assuming that a piece of paper legalizing their union will somehow make all of their problems disappear, but, the exact opposite is what usually happens. It's often said that women expect far too much from their mate, while men don't know what to expect. Counter this by keeping in mind that only you are responsible for your own happiness, and that it's only possible to change your own behavior and actions.
- Family Conflicts
While it's true that you and your spouse are indeed a family now, you each have your own respective families that you've been a part of for far longer than you've known each other. Many newlyweds report difficulty adjusting to married life simply due to the fact that they're used to how their own family may have done things and are having trouble coming to an agreeable alternative. Start your own traditions together instead of competing with each other. Compromise by alternating holidays, dividing your time with both families, or even having one big event with both sides together.
- Blended Families
Blended families, or those with children from previous marriages, tend to have their own unique set of problems for newlyweds. With children involved, either on both sides or only one, their needs and well being must be thought of first, which might seem like a good way to put the new marriage on the back burner. However, involving the children, making them an important part of the marriage by building a new family together is one of the surest ways of strengthening the bond between not only the newlyweds, but the entire family.
While no marriage is exempt from some problems and conflict, what truly matters is how the couple decides to address these issues and react to them. Make it a point to remember exactly how you felt the day you exchanged vows, even during the seemingly darkest of times. By remembering that intense feeling of love and what brought you together in the first place, you'll be able to focus on what's most important, your devotion for each other, not the petty trivialities of life that often get in the way of what really matters most in life.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA