DO flirt with your eyes.
Flirting with your eyes is one of the easiest ways to test if a guy is into you. Patti Stanger, of The Millionaire Matchmaker, calls it the five-second flirt. “It’s basically finding a guy you have an attraction to, whether it’s at a bar or a party, and holding that gaze,” she says. “If he doesn’t come over, he’s either taken, involved with somebody else, in a relationship or married. Or he could be hitting for the other team. Or he is passive-aggressive—he wants you to choose him, which is the worst kind of guy. Nobody wants that guy.”
DON’T come on too strong.
Outrageous pickup lines and jaw-dropping displays of sexuality are almost always a DON’T. “By making overtly sexual comments, continually exhibiting your tongue ring and making out with your girlfriend, you’ll quickly get categorized as nothing more than a hookup,” says Michael Somerville, better known as Jake, Glamour’s resident single guy and host of the TV show Wingman. Pretending to have more fun than you actually are counts as overdoing it, so keep the hair-tossing and forced laughter to a minimum. “It looks weird and desperate,” he adds.
DO remember to smile.
“Happy is in! Mysterious is out,” says Whitney Casey, author of The Man Plan: Drive Men Wild—Not Away and Match.com’s relationship expert. “Smiling at him is an oldie but goodie. Your self-confident look will always get him.”
DO act your age.
Be confident in who you are. Don’t dumb yourself down by giggling at everything he says or asking questions you already know the answers to.
“A real man wants a real woman, not an adolescent. And a woman who flirts like a little girl comes off as desperate and needy,” says Marie Forleo, author of Make Every Man Want You: How to Be So Irresistible You’ll Barely Keep From Dating Yourself!.
DON’T limit your flirting to face time.
Make flirting a virtual reality. “If you see a single guy on your friend’s Facebook page, have her ‘friend’ suggest you with a cute little note,” says Casey.
You can also try following him on Twitter. “Respond to some of his posts with thoughtful messages and helpful links,” says Casey, “but DON’T ask him out on Twitter—ever.” That’ll take you from cutie to creepy in less than 140 characters. Read on for more ways Facebook, Gchat and Twitter can help—and hurt—your relationship.
DO take charge.
Seriously, what do you have to lose? By taking charge, you are making it clear that you’re interested. “Take the conversation where you want it to go,” says master matchmaker Steven Ward, host of the VH1 reality show Tough Love. “If you expect him to call, give him your number. But if you want to call him, demand his number.”
DO designate a wingwoman.
If you’re spending a night out with girlfriends and can’t seem to work up the courage to approach a guy who’s caught your interest, ask a friend to step in. “As a group, come up with a debatable question that only a male can answer,” suggests Casey. “Then send one of the girls over—ideally, your married or unavailable friend—to say: ‘My single friends have a question…that only a group of men can settle.’” It’s an easy way to jump-start the flirtation.
DON’T shy away from physical contact.
Making physical contact is a foolproof way to show your interest, but proceed with caution. “Use light touches to the arms, shoulders and legs to clearly communicate your interest,” says Forleo. “Physical flirting is hard to misread, and your light touches give him the confidence he needs to take it to the next level.”
But if you want a guy to get to know you, don’t get too physical too fast, warns Somerville.
DO act gracefully.
“Subtle indications you’re attracted to someone are the most effective ways to let him know,” says Ward. There’s no harm in flirting with someone who doesn’t reciprocate, but being able to bow out gracefully is of the utmost importance. “If he’s unavailable or uninterested, maintain your poise and just pretend you never started flirting in the first place.”
How to Flirt to Make a Man Notice You and Keep His Attention?
Flirting with another adult is an art form. Some people are born with it but others can learn the talent involved. When you look at him keep your eyes on him three seconds longer than seems polite and then look away. Do it again a few minutes later. He will feel it even if he is across the room. Focus and think, "Come here, come here, come here!" By the third time if he is feeling the vibe he will show up. If he is not interested by the third time well, he just is not. Move on to another. Sometimes just having a sexy, flirting walking style will be all you need to get the attention of every man in the room. When he sees others interested in you he will be also. Men love competition. They don't want something none of the others do.
Ask one of your friends to watch him and see if he has notice you. She shouldn't focus on him too much or he will think she is interested. She should just track him a bit and note is reaction. Whisper to her after you look at him and he will think you are talking about him. Men love that! It excites them to think they are the center of your attention. It intrigues them and makes them want to find out what you are saying. If you get to meet him never tell that it was a plot.
After you meet him be a little spicy but never insulting, mean or sarcastic or you will turn him off. You can be racy and fun but not make fun at his expense. Don't talk about your cat. Men are bored to tears with women talking about how much they love their animals. If he asks you can mention you have them and let it go. I have sons who tell me that women who blab on and on about their pets bore them to tears. Try to have interesting conversation. Ask him about himself and then actually listen to the answers and ask more questions about what he tells you. Don't ask with an eye toward how much money he makes. Ask about it from an intellectual viewpoint. Like "How did you get into that line of work? Do you find it satisfying?" Never ask him how much money he ears or what kind of car he drives. He will write you off as a gold digger. He may date you and he will probably go to bed with you but he will not value you.
Once you are dating do not let him see you prepare to go out. Be mysterious. He is not your girlfriend and should not be in on the secrets of your beauty treatments. Let him see the finished product. Men usually don't care about shopping so don't talk to him about it.
Keep in mind showing him respect is the best way to have him respect you. Intelligent conversation is the best way to keep him interested. Sex only keeps it going so long. You spend most of the relationship talking and the best way to keep a man's heart is by being intelligent and interesting. No one wants to hang around a boring self-interested person.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA