Successfully Begin Your Conversation To Win Her Over

Published on by CMe




Successfully Begin Your Conversation To Win Her Over

Developing effective conversational skills is a lovely investment in your future. By improving your conversational skills you talk with confidence. You have the ability to talk to almost any person attracting friends and business clients twice the rate as you would without such skills.

However, don't fall into the major misconception of thinking good conversational skills is good communication skills. To often people think someone with good communication is a witty conversation starter who is easy to talk to. Having good conversation skills is a subset of effective communication which also contains areas such as conflict, listening, assertion, etc.

Learn how to improve your conversations from the articles and resources provided below.
How to chat her up and make her fancy you

What to say to turn her on
How to be more sexy
How to make her believe every word you say
How to get her phone number
How to deal with those hard to get girls
How to make a date and not get turned down
How to turn NO into YES
Tips for picking up older or younger girls
Some ideas for dates that girls can't resist

The open-up level is usually the most difficult. The chat-up should be slightly easier. The overall game plan here is to make your chat gradually more and more personal and so get her deeper and deeper involved as you go on. Make sure she's still interested before going on to the warm-up level. If she isn't try another line of chat before you start to bore her!

There are three things to remember here

Don't expect to do it all today. You'll probably need a proper one-to-one date before you can get past the chat-up level

Don't try and get her into bed tonight. (If you do - great but the chances are you won't date her again.) Far better to work on building up a long lasting relationship so that she's still there any time you want her in future. Believe me, you can only do this by getting her to feel that you're the man for her BEFORE it comes to sex.

Getting her phone no., address etc. should be a NUMBER ONE PRIORITY .This way, even if you don't get through the chat-up level now you can still come back to her again and again.

Everything you say at this stage should be something that will get her going - not get her snoring! The subjects I mentioned earlier are pretty good bets. So keep trying them until you find something that appeals to her and then focus on it.

Usually, you can't go wrong with ....

Anything funny. Something funny that has happened to you is best. If not a joke will do.

Anything honest. Girls really go for honest men ( Or, at least those that sound honest! )

Anything sensitive - such as what a nice colour her outfit is. Girls find a man who can say something is 'nice' or 'pretty' a big turn on.

Anything that shows confidence and assertiveness - such as your opinion on something or other.

Anything that shows an exciting, couldn't care-less attitude 'So I got soaked on the way here -so what!

ABOVE ALL - Compliments! These really are a BIG turn on for her. Compliment her hair and clothes especially.

BUT - Learn how to tell if you're being BORING and change to something else pretty quick. (If she keeps looking away, or looks at her watch etc., this is a clear sign that she's going cold.)

Never forget that the chat up isn't all about what you SAY. What you DO is just as important, if not more important. So always think about everything you do.

If you act TOO MACHO she will just assume that you can never care for or love someone - and a girl can NEVER find someone like this sexually attractive. It's for this reason that ice-cold stares, aggressive behaviour and treating-em-mean-to-keep-em-keen is usually a mistake. But well controlled physical power is a big turn on to girls and so you should always let her see that you've got the power!

Many girls have reported that there's one thing that makes a man really IRRESISTIBLE to them. This is to be HARD on the outside but SOFT on the inside. Yes - you're a man - masculine and maybe a bit aggressive on the surface. But, when you're with her you're just a little kid at heart. Now it sounds stupid to me too - but girls seem to love it!

All the following tricks can help

Always keep her in eye contact.

Always laugh and smile as much as possible.

Always stand face-to-face with her not side-by-side and not too near -So she can see you from head to toe.

Don't be afraid to 'pose-it-up' at this stage. Stand up straight. Stick your chest out a little. Smooth your hair. All these things tell her you're trying to look good just for her Girls know about and understand these things.

BUT - If you get the chance, get lower than her! Sit when she's standing or crouch when she's sitting etc. This makes her feel more powerful and it's the very reason why small men can often be very successful.

Look interested in everything she says, even if you know it's wrong.

Touch her LIGHTLY. But don't 'paw' her at this stage. Don't put your arm right round her, or on her thigh. These say 'you are mine' and are big turn-offs BEFORE SHE'S READY to be yours

Don't fidget with your tie/drink/change/pen etc. These are obvious signs of nervousness and lack of confidence which are very unattractive to her. 

Now, every girl worries about meeting a man who will take the sex HE WANTS and then dump her without giving her the love SHE WANTS. So at this stage you must get her to believe your chat and convince her this is not your aim - whether it is or not! You can achieve this with the TRUTH TECHNIQUE. This is done NOT by what you SAY but by what you DO. 

Here's how it works:--

Keep eye contact at all times. If you're sitting down, sit up straight with your legs wide apart at the knees but keeping your heels together. If you're standing up keep your legs slightly apart, feet pointing away from each other with heels together. Shrug your shoulders and open the palms of your hands towards her. This is the classic 'I'm being honest' position and she WILL believe everything you say

Never cross your legs, or sit with your hands in your lap, your arms folded, or your hands in your pockets. And never use this 'truth technique' when you're sat behind a table or other barrier. Most important, never cover your face with your hand, or scratch your nose, chin or ear. All these say loud and clear 'I'M LYING' and she is unlikely to fall for your chat.

The great thing about using the truth technique is that once a girl finds an apparently truthful man she'll not only open up to him, but stick with him too - and happily ignore most of his other faults.

As you'll know , girls can be very awkward about this. The reason is that , to a girl , giving out her 'phone number is usually a COMMITMENT - not just an opportunity .

Here are some methods you can use if you can't ask for it outright. All of them work MUCH BETTER if you use them BEFORE you have asked for her number and been turned down :-

Ask for her work number. This is much less of a commitment.

Ask for her work number by showing interest in what she does and telling her you might be a customer. Or, have a friend who might be a customer .

Talk to her. Find out about a problem she has. Offer to solve it for her. Get her number so you can ring her when you have found the answer .

Find out her surname and roughly where she lives with questions that are obviously wrong like 'You're Jane Smith aren't you?' and 'I have a friend who lives near you.. Make up these names if you have to. Girls don't often turn down a chance to put you right. (Then look her up in the phone book.)

Ask her friends. ( They won't turn down a chance to play matchmaker )

OR - why not give her YOUR number. A lot of girls turn down chat-ups but then regret it later when they've had a chance to think about it! Again, giving her your work number (but accidentally give her your home number instead) can be a good idea because she'll find it much less of a commitment ringing that. 

Of course, there are always some desirable girls who don't respond to your chat and you need to do more. If you're really determined to have them you'll have to move up a gear.

Why do girls act hard to get? Well, maybe they're not interested. But it's quite likely they just expect you to work harder. This is common in the most desirable girls who date a lot - they don't want to seem too 'easy' .

Try these methods :-

Say something funny VERY funny. (Prepare it beforehand.)

Criticise them. Usually this is NOT a good idea , but try it if you have reached a dead end .

Try a stunt - like dropping a tray of drinks etc.

Compliment her like crazy! 

By now you'll have a pretty good idea if she's attracted to you. If so, the time is right to ask her on a proper ONE-TO-ONE DATE. Every girl is much more likely to open up to you on a one-to-one date than a first or chance meeting.

The main secret here is to dress your offer up like it's NOT A FORMAL DATE. To you, the first date is probably a 'see how it goes thing, or a scoring opportunity'. A girl sees it very differently. To HER a first date is, hopefully, the start of a long relationship. So if you're TOO SERIOUS - like most men are - she'll worry and worry about whether she's doing the right thing and probably end up turning you down.

So - ask her out - but just make it sound like an ordinary, everyday occurrence. Make it sound like you've got an exciting social life already (whether or not that's true) and just ask her if she'd like to join in.

These methods usually work :--

Say you just happen to be going to the pub (or whatever)
tomorrow.... and would she like to come?

Or, a slightly better version of this

Say you and some friends always go nightclubbing (or whatever) on a Saturday night and would she like to come?.... (Your friends can always drop out later)

Say you've already got a firm date planned but have been let down. Will she help you out?

Say 'you'll go if she does '. This encourages her to accept by making her feel bad if you miss something.

Find out something she'd like to do. Just bring it up conversation before without ever suggesting it might be a date. Then offer to go with her. Hopefully she'll jump at the chance or at the least be too nice to turn you down!

If she doesn't accept then phone her later-you've already got her number right? Use these lines again. As I said it's amazing how many girls turn down date offers automatically then regret it later when they've had a chance to think about it. 

It's probably because she's uneasy, or maybe even a bit frightened of accepting a date .

There are two ways to get round her fears :--

Make it clear it's for somewhere in public, so she doesn't feel unsafe , or too committed. For this reason day-time dates are usually easier to get , even if less fun!

If you can't get her to yourself, get a group together ( good friends will always disappear later on )

IF ALL ELSE FAILS wait till after the date would have taken place. Then call her and say you had a great time - but it'll be even better next time if SHE comes. This is not only flattering, but most girls can't stand finding out that they have missed a good time!

By the way, if you say you'll call always DO - At the time you said or before. If you don't you've probably blown it for good. And girls are always turned on if you call under difficult circumstances - such as using the phone at work when you shouldn't, or when you are away from home and have to search for a phone box!

In the first place, most men and girls tend to go for a partner about their own age. But do you have to? One of the easiest ways of increasing your number of dates considerably is to move out of your age group.

If you want to give this a try then the simplest rule for success is to understand HER reasons for wanting an older or younger man - NOT your own reasons for wanting them!

If you want to move in on older girls remember that they place a bit more importance on the physical and sexual side of things than younger girls. Again, it's the complete opposite of what men usually think! This isn't to say that personality doesn't count too. Play it confident and mature, but don't overdo it - She probably wants to feel younger herself and that's what she wants from you.

Younger girls are especially attracted to qualities such as confidence and maturity - often because they've found it hard to find them in men their own age. So, don't act like the men her age who she probably thinks are immature - In fact, the secret for success is to look at the lads you'd expect her to be dating and don't do what they do!

You'll be more successful if you remember to adjust your technique slightly in each case. A younger girl is likely to be easier to open-up and chat with in the first place, but harder to score with in the end - She'll need a lot more convincing and reassuring before she's ready to move on to the warm-up. Older girls usually expect you to work harder at the open-up and chat-up levels but, once you've established a relationship properly, she should be more eager to get things moving. ( If you're lucky she may even take the lead! ) 

There is one never-to-be-broken rule about making successful dates :-

YOU decide WHAT TO DO and WHERE TO GO. She'll be impressed if you act assertively.

Remember, she should plug into your social life. Most girls are attracted to a man with a busy social life - so make it look like this even if it's not. But, it's vital that the date is something SHE will like to do. Girls can be a bit selfish in this way so even if you don't like it, make yourself like it!

These suggestions are pretty good bets :

Pubs. Go for a country pub or out-of-the-way back street place. Not a disco pub with lots of other men waiting to turn her head. (Have you made this mistake before?)

Nightclubs, discos and concerts really are too noisy for a first date.

Walks. Ever popular and cheap. Good for holding hands!

Meals. Be careful here. Most girls worry about their weight and are embarrassed to let men they fancy see them eating a lot. She might refuse a date like this even if she's dying to date you !

Cinema. An old favourite. YOU pick the film but make sure it's something SHE will like, preferably a 'weepy' - no violent war films!

Sports. Not many girls like watching sport - most of them don't understand football, so don't take her to the match. However, if you're playing a sport and she can watch this will impress her.

A fair or theme park. One of the best dates invented. She'll be impressed as you win her prizes and prove that you're not frightened of the roller-coaster!

Family events, e.g. weddings, birthday parties. These can be a bit embarrassing but usually go down well. A lot of girls do go for nice squeaky-clean family boys!

Parties. You don't need a reason to have a party. Make one up!


Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at  MetroSexual LA

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