Sex As a Bargaining Tool

Thursday 22 october 4 22 /10 /Oct 16:02

Sex As a Bargaining Tool

What would cause you to withhold sex from your spouse? In Kenya that is just what some women are doing, withholding sex from their husbands with the aim of getting their support to help solve the problem which has arisen in the leadership of the country. The Women's Development Organization, said they hope the boycott will persuade men to pressure the government to make peace.

I have to say to me the idea of a stand off and using sex as a tool to bring husbands into line and get them to do something them you want is abhorrent. To me it is the same if it was the other way around, with the man using sex as a tool against his wife. If you think it's only women who withhold sex, read this article.

There may be reasons for withholding sex. It might be if one or the other was sick and it was necessary. In some infrequent cases sex may have to be put on hold, while the woman is pregnant. This can occur particularly if the woman is older and has a history of problems and the doctor is concerned about a miscarriage. At certain times of the month a couple not feel comfortable having sexual relations. Or obviously as sometimes happens and the man cannot maintain an erection. Even if this is the case, there are other ways a man can pleasure his wife. Are there any others apart from these that people suggest?

What concerns me is the idea of something that is intended to be beautiful and a special bond between husband and wife, being used as a bargaining chip. Yet I've heard of it happening in marriage where one partner will withhold sex until they get their own way in whatever the situation is they are lobbying about. What does this say about the state of such a marriage?

It may not always be sex. It may be cooking, helping with chores, cleaning or washing that is used as a bargaining chip and as a tool. Are their bargaining tools in your marriage? What are they? And under what circumstances would you withhold sex from your spouse?

Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA