Published on by CMe




What is Relationship Violence? 
Relationship violence is abusive behaviors used to maintain power and control over an intimate partner. The abuse can be physical, sexual, psychological, verbal or emotional. Relationship violence can occur between couples who are or have been dating, living together, or married. It can occur in opposite-sex as well as same-sex relationships. Relationship violence is sometimes called intimate partner violence, domestic violence, or dating violence. Relationship violence is not part of a healthy relationship.

Examples of Relationship Violence 
Name-calling, insulting, and humiliating are forms of verbal and emotional abuse. 
"He always put me down in front of others. He would say, 'You're a stupid slut.'"
"My partner has a short temper and will cuss at me until I cry, but then apologize the next day."

Isolation and domination are forms of psychological abuse. 
"My boyfriend would always tell me that he was the only person I needed in my life."
"My partner makes all the decisions about what we do."

Stalking, possessiveness and extreme jealousy are forms of psychological abuse.
"He would constantly call me to see what I was doing and where I had been."
"My girlfriend accused me of cheating every time I talked to another girl."

Threats, manipulation and intimidation are forms of psychological abuse. 
"While we were arguing in the car, my partner began driving in a way that scared me."
"My boyfriend threatened to kill himself if I broke up with him."

Pressuring or forcing sexual activity, engaging in sexual activity while your partner is sleeping or unconscious, and the unwanted use of physical force in sexual activity are types of sexual abuse. 
"We had sex whenever he wanted to, even if I didn't."

Throwing objects, kicking, punching, slapping, pushing, biting, hair-pulling, using weapons, forcing drug or alcohol use, withholding money, food or other necessities, and homicide are types of physical abuse.
"Whenever I did something he didn't like or even if I looked at him the wrong way, my boyfriend would hit me."
"He wouldn't let me eat hardly." Fitness And Unfitness For Marriage
The physiological and also the legal understanding of marriage is, that it is a union for the purpose of offspring.

Therefore both the lawyer and the physician must condemn any marriage in which this purpose is not at all, or only imperfectly carried out. In other words, virility is a necessary preliminary to marriage. Not merely should the age of puberty be passed, but the whole body should be so developed, and the special functions so matured, that intercourse may not prove injurious to the male, nor his unripe secretion be unequal to the formation of a healthy child.

Impotence, we shall speak of hereafter, but here we insist on virility. Marriage works sure and irreparable injuries on the constitution of boys or very young men. Their lives are shortened, their health enfeebled, their mental powers frequently impaired. Then their children are usually puny and sickly, apt to have hereditary weakness, and not to attain advanced years.

The most advisable age to marry has been much discussed by writers in all ages. We shall not repeat their conflicting opinions, many of them purely theoretical, but say at once that in this country in the majority of cases, the full stature and complete development of physical powers are not attained before the age of twenty-five years, and that from that to thirty-five is the decade in which a man may the most suitably seek a wife.

Physicians are not infrequently appealed to on the question whether a person of feeble constitution will be benefited or injured by marriage. Many families have hereditary taints, and not a few young men through misfortune or temptation have incurred maladies which they fear may be aggravated by the novel relations under which they will be placed, or possibly transmitted in some form to their offspring.

So far as such inquiries relate to those diseases which ordinarily arise from impure intercourse we have already replied to them in the previous portion of this work. In cases of a consumptive, a scrofulous, or an insane tendency, it is probable that a predisposition to such weakness will be passed down, and quite certain that they will, should a like tendency exist in the wife. But it is not likely that any of these diseases will be aggravated or hastened by marriage; on the contrary, very many facts could readily be adduced to show that in both sexes, providing that the other partner has not the same tendency, such constitutional disorders are decidedly mitigated and often altogether avoided by a union. The exercise of the generative functions in marriage has a powerful derivative effect, and not rarely alters for the better a feeble constitution. Epilepsy, nervous depression, and even occasional insanity have been known to be greatly relieved or removed by a judicious union.

When, however, such debility arises from a progressive and natural decay of the body - in other words, when it is the consequence of advancing age - the very worst results may be apprehended from such a step. There are matrimonial engagements occasionally contracted by elderly men which are eminently satisfactory both physically and mentally. But in such instances the man must be healthy and vigorous, or else, like King David, he must content himself with the proximity alone of her who is his partner in life, otherwise he will soon fall a victim to some serious disease. Dr. Reich, in his learned work on the Degeneration of the Human Race, finds an active cause of the increasing number of diseases and weakened muscles of our generation in the growing tendency now-a-days to postpone marriage until time and perhaps indulgence have diminished the forces, and exposed the system to succumb readily to any unusual drain upon its resources. Therefore, after the age of thirty-five, a man in poor health, or with an obvious tendency to disease, should be extremely cautious how he contracts a lien of thus nature.

Malformations of various kinds, whether by nature or accident, not infrequently occasion poignant distress of mind lest they constitute an insuperable barrier to matrimony. Generally, such anxiety is unfounded. A diminished or an excessive growth of the parts rarely is carried to such an extent as to constitute a barrier to intercourse. The absence of one or even both of the testicles may arise from the fact that they have never descended from the interior of the abdomen, where they are always located before birth. This retention of their original position does not necessarily interfere with their functions, however. Sometimes the prepuce is long, thick, and adherent to such a degree that it seriously interferes with the exercise of the function. In such cases it should be submitted to the examination of a surgeon, as an operation may be required. A more rare condition is when the orifice of exit is not at the extremity, but on the side or close to the body. This usually does not prevent connection, but does produce sterility. It, too, can often be removed by a skilful surgeon.

The size of the organ sometimes excites fear lest matrimony could not be completed. But there is no permanent proportion between size and vigor. Generally an unusual size is accompanied with debility, and it is not infrequently observed, indeed it may be said to be the rule, that persons of vigorous powers have small but well-shaped parts. Those who have studied the models of classical antiquity will have noticed that the most perfect representations of manly strength present these parts even unusually small. The Negro race have the parts larger than the white, but they do not proportionately increase in size on erection. A small and shriveled condition in either race is a sign of impotence.

How to Stay Away From Aggravation
Aggravation can cause several ailments including ulcers, migraine headaches and generally depression. To learn how to stay away from aggravation is a skill that can help everyone, but is especially important for people who easily get aggravated from average day occurrences and what can be average situations like socializing. In this article is four tips for you or anyone you know who needs to learn or accept how to stay away from aggravation.
  1. When learning how to stay away from aggravation, think about all the things that aggravate you and stay away from them.
  2. If you are an individual that gets aggravated from long lines such as those at post offices or banks, avoid them. Simply do not go during peak hours or when you see long lines. Try to schedule your time in a way that will help you avoid lines always. A way to help schedule your time to avoid long lines will first depend on how much time you live for the option. Don't wait until the last minute to take care of business that you means you directly have to go to a bank or post office. This includes supermarkets.
  3. If you are an individual that gets aggravated from long lines such as those at post offices or banks, avoid them. Simply do not go during peak hours or when you see long lines. Try to schedule your time in a way that will help you avoid lines always. A way to help schedule your time to avoid long lines will first depend on how much time you live for the option. Don't wait until the last minute to take care of business that you means you directly have to go to a bank or post office. This includes supermarkets.
  4. If you are a person who gets aggravated from family get together, don't go to them. Unless it is a special event like a marriage or death, you will do better for your health not to involve yourself. Try instead to have frequently or generally try to have private meetings with the family members and family situations that don't aggravate you.
  5. Learning how to not get aggravated is a skill that helps all involved. Don't forget that when you are aggravated those around you tend to get edgy and or aggravated too. Major Problems That Lead To Aggravation
Understanding the Problems In Marriage
There are certain major problems in marriage that create a threat to your peaceful and happy married life. You must identify whether any of the following problems exists in your marriage. If you are facing any of these, you or your partner should address them in time to reestablish a joyful married life.

Factors Contributing to Major Problems In Marriage
Here are a few of the causes of major problems in marriage

  • Drug Addiction: If any of the partners in the marriage takes drugs, alcohol or any mood altering chemical it will create lots of tension or problems in the marriage life. 
  • Extramarital Relationship: If either of the partners enters into an extramarital relationship with another person for sexual or emotional reasons, it will cause problems in marriage. 
  • Underestimation: You must consult your partner for taking any major decision that has implications for your family. You must respect the views, opinions of your partner, and judge them rationally to avoid problems in marriage. 
  • Threat or Physical Violence: If either of the partners restores to physical of verbal abuse and demonstrates it through repetitive actions, it creates a threat to marriage. 
    Deception or Constant Lying: You must be transparent and true to your partner. If you are constantly deceiving your partner or lying, you are inviting tension in your marriage life and cause problems in marriage. 
  • Lack of Intimacy: You must find some time to spend with your partner. Both of you must share intimate time away from parenting roles. 
  • Blaming Behavior: In many cases, it is seen that partners blame each other for any wrong doing of the past. However, both of you should try for a solution if something has already been done. The blaming act may give rise to violence and separation. These types of conflicts are non-productive and major cause for problems in marriage and both the partners need to avoid them. 
  • Financial Aspects: Certain Financial issues may create problem in your marriage life. The problems in marriage are aggravated if both of you do not arrive at a conclusion on how to resolve those issues. If one partner tries to live within a realistic budget, and the other partner goes for lavish spending, you are inviting problems. 

Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at  MetroSexual LA


Comment on this post