Shared first experiences in come in many forms. But which ones should you relish and remember and which ones are just you being mushy over? In relationship world, we say they all count. Here are our top 14 relationship firsts.
- The First Talk Until Dawn
Astronomers say it takes just over eight minutes for light from the sun to reach the earth. And that's about how long it feels you've been talking, though it's been over eight hours. "My God, look at the time!" you both say, cursing the violet sky. But it's a good sign if all you want to do is talk for a few million more trips into space and back.
- The First Kiss
We know: Duh. But how could we not mention that Big Red moment? It's like no other feeling in the world.
- When He Introduces You As "My Girlfriend"
It's so utterly high school that the title still straightens your spine. But how can it not? You're now officially pinned, picked, branded, wanted.
- The First Morning After
Some guys you wouldn't share a beet salad with, let alone a whole night. "You want coffee?" he asks the next morning, tossing the duvet your way as he pads to the kitchen. "Please," he's saying by the ease of his actions, "stay".
- The First "I Love You"
Jessica Simpson seems content to proclaim her love through national magazines. For the rest of us, though, the moment is fraught with anxiety: What if he stares at us blankly? What if we're saying it too soon, and ... Sorry, what was that? You do? Oh, thank God.
- The First "We"
The first time you write "we" in an e-mail to your friends — and they don't write back, "We? Who the heck is we?"
- The First Time You Fight (and Make Up)
Let's be honest: If you never fight, someone's not speaking up. Consider it like an oil change: a healthy way to clean out gunk so you can get back to the joy ride.
- The First Trip Together
What better way to gauge how you'll fare on your journey through life than to see how you survive hours of snaking security lines? It's also when you establish who'll get the window seat for the duration of your relationship — so act fast, woman.
- First Grocery-Shopping Trip Together
You know how his lips taste after a workout and a cold beer. You know to give him five minutes alone when he shakes his head in a "work sucked" kind of way. But to watch this man slip a family-size Fruit Loops into the basket with a dopey grin on his face — that's when you realize you still have worlds to learn about each other.
- The First Time You Get Control of His Car/Remote/iPod
Seriously, you don't know how hard it is for him to hand over something he worships so much. Not as much as he worships you, of course, but close. Scary close.
- The First Time You See a Future with Him
Some women could imagine having a future with the guys in a J. Crew catalog. But with the man you love, the future you see is sure-footed and sane: A foot rub after a long day. A laundry basket and a loving squeeze (though if he's folding, you really are dreaming).
- The First Time You Realize You're No Longer Primping for Him
Whoops! You're sitting on the couch in your baggiest sweats and rattiest T-shirt. Yet he's looking at you more lovingly than when you're all gussied up. Clearly, my dear, this is the real deal.
- The First Time You Take Care of Something Together
It doesn't really matter if it's a tomato garden or Rufus the drooling French bulldog. But when you're both responsible for taking care of another living thing, your pairing becomes much more important. Be proud as you watch it grow.
- The First Time You Commit to Each Other
We're talking long-term commitment, through thick and thin. On the one hand, it feels a bit like picking partners in the schoolyard. ("You want me on your team? Really? Me too!") On the other, it's a watershed moment, when you find yourself so profoundly lucky that someone you adore so much feels exactly the same way about you.
Make or Break Relationship Moments
For lots of women who don't know how to handle these Moments... they find that the man in their life doesn't seem to get that it's in these tough moments that the real "gold" of their relationship comes to the surface. Instead... the man in their life simply PULLS AWAY.
Do you find that you don't know what to do in these Moments and that men PULL AWAY from you? ... Or do you know how to turn these Moments into the opportunities they are for you to actually learn more about each other and GROW CLOSER?
I want to show you how to break out of the PATTERNS that prevent you from bringing the right man into your life and creating a lasting relationship.
Here is something fascinating... Of the thousands of different problems and issues that get in most women's way with men and relationships...
What's at the ROOT of these problems really boils down to a few key Moments and how you handle them. Knowing this now, I want you to tell me...
Do you find that your relationships always seem to fall apart in the same way, or in similar Moments each time?
Do men have common ways that they react and respond to you that seems to make it impossible to make a real relationship work?
And do you find that there are a few of the same situations or moments that keep popping up in your love life just when you think things are going well?
Here are a few of the Moments I spell out clearly in detail and show you how to handle each one with your man so that he grows even closer to you in each one...
- Moment #1: Meeting A Man & Catching His Interest
You see him from across the room. He's your type. It seems like he noticed you, but he never makes it over to talk to you. Will you miss out on this chance to meet? How can you catch his interest so he comes up and talks to you?
If you're not good at getting out and meeting men, let alone getting a man's attention once you find him, you've probably spent too many months and years alone and wondering,
"Where are all the good and available men?" Don't keep wondering. In this Moment I show you the secret "cues" for flirting with a man verbally and non-verbally that
attract him and signal to him that you're available but not desperate.
The reality is that there are a lot of attractive, single men out there in the world.
If you're single and on your own, it's time you did something about it and stopped wasting your precious time alone.
- Moment #2: He's "Hot & Cold"
You've been dating a man or are in a relationship, but he swings from making plans and spending time with you and wanting to be with you... to not calling, acting strange and distant and just not being present or responsive.
You know something is off and isn't right, but you don't know what it is.
When you try to bring it up, he doesn't have anything to say and gives no explanation. Instead of listening and talking to you about it, he ends up going cold again and pulls away. You know it's no way to be together and grow closer or move forward in your relationship, but you don't know what to do about it and why it's happening in the first place.
Most women in this situation accidentally do and say the exact things that take this Moment and turn it into something that pushes a man farther away, turns him off and shuts down the doors of communication on both sides.
Don't stay in the dark on what this Moment is really about with a man. Learn what it means when a man is hot and cold, and what the exact steps you can take to get rid of this annoying pattern and bring you and the man in your life close and together for good.
There are 4 reasons a man acts hot and cold, one of which has to do with a man's own issues.
It's time you knew what these are so you can prevent this pattern from being a problem in your relationships in the future.
- Moment #3: How To Tell If He's Interested
There's a man you run into over and over again -- at work, in your social circle, or somewhere you visit frequently. He's friendly and engaging. You're definitely
interested in him.
You aren't sure if he's interested in you. Sometimes he seems to be flirting, but he NEVER ASKS YOU OUT.
What's up with that? How can you tell for sure whether a man is really interested in you for something more than just "friendly conversation"?
Or maybe you've had a situation where a man makes plans with you, but you're not really sure if it's supposed to be a "date."
Does he consider you more than just a friend? How would you know? You don't want to end up misunderstanding the situation or getting your hopes up... In this moment, you'll need to learn to gauge a man's interest, based on what he says and does...
because whether you know it or not, men DON'T talk about their feelings right away when they're interested.
Instead, they give subtle SIGNS... If you don't know what these signs are, and how
to both read them and respond, it's going to be very difficult for you to know what's going on and how to take things to the next level and grow close with a man.
I show you the 4 signs you need to know about and look out for to gauge a man's interest, and what to do when you see the signs he's interested.
- Moment #4: He Says He's "Not Ready"
This Moment always seems to happen right when you feel that you're getting CLOSER to a man.
You've had a great weekend away together, a great series of dates, you just told him you love him, or the intensity of his feelings has suddenly increased. You're feeling great-adored, hopeful and excited.
Then BAM! Suddenly he tells you that he's been thinking about things, and he's just NOT READY to move the relationship forward.
He's not ready for the kind of commitment you want.
He's not ready for a real relationship. He's just not ready to start dating again, after all... You're devastated. What should you do?
It's in this Moment that most women don't understand WHY a man is saying this in the first place, and what it really means.
It's also the place where lots of women have the wheels come off out of frustration.
Instead, you can use this Moment as a great opportunity to avoid falling into the trap that this pulls lots of women into half-committed relationships for months or years and has them arguing with a man and trying to PURSUE HIM or convince him to feel differently.
I'll show you in this Moment how it's really an opportunity to communicate YOUR NEEDS about only being with a man who knows what he wants and chooses you... rather than pushing back against him.
Incredibly, this is exactly what will pull a man into shape and get him to recognize the value of what he's got in being with you. But you have to know HOW to do this, and you have to really be truly committed to loving yourself and getting YOUR NEEDS met, or else it won't work and will back-fire.
Why Can't You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship
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