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There are moments where you really need your spouse's help, either with the children or the house and he is just watching TV or playing on the computer. You want to get their help, but without nagging. Follow these steps and your spouse will be helping in no time.
Express your feelings regarding her lack of help. If necessary, turn off the television or the video game to make sure that you have her full attention. Avoid using the words "you never" or "I always" as they cause a person to immediately shut down.
Divide the household responsibilities and make sure that you are each aware of what they are. Post the chores on the refrigerator and hold each other accountable for them. Be understanding of situations that may occur such as illness, overtime at work or just having a really bad day.
Give a lot of positive feedback. It makes people feel good and naturally want to repeat the behavior to make you happy. It is human nature to want to be appreciated
4Reward your spouse. If he helps out around the house then reward him occasionally with something that he would like such as a sporting event or intimacy.
Check to make sure that your expectations for your spouse to help are reasonable. If you are expecting her to jump in and help immediately after walking in the door from work that is unreasonable. Everyone needs time to unwind.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA