These qualities in a virtuous man are essentially what would make me consider a man suitable for marriage to a woman pastor. Meaning this particular woman pastor. Every girl, pastor or otherwise, should develop her own list of non-negotiables i.e. the things she is not prepared to compromise on.
Are these essential qualities of a virtuous husband more virtual than realistic?
Men and women are growing increasingly disenchanted with each other. Too many games, abuse and exploitation. Too much deception and too many lies. Trust has been replaced by cynicism and jadedness. Finding the qualities you are looking for in a mate is for some an exercise in frustration.
Yet, online Dating Sites continue to grow as human beings reach out, seeking each other. There is still the quest to find the right one. Forget Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty and the ruggedly handsome businessman and naive (read fool-fool) woman in romance novels. These are the days of the Princess and Shrek living like America and Iraq.
Still I believe that people shouldn’t just settle. I never have and I’m not prepared to. A good man deserves a good woman and a good woman who desires marriage should wait until she finds one with the essential qualities she is looking for in a husband. Too many women (and men) feel pressured by society to get married, and for all the wrong reasons too. They become more focused on getting to the end of the journey, and miss out on making the best choice in a partner.
The Virtuous Husband is:
- Domesticated or ‘house broken’ if you prefer. For me, virtuous husbands do household chores too. His masculinity is not undermined by the mop in his hand.
- A deeply spiritual Christian man, not just a church member. We should also agree on fundamental socio-religious issues like women’s rights and sexism for starters…
- Humble enough to admit that he does not know everything and mutual submission in a marriage means that his wife should in all sensibility take the lead in such areas where she is more gifted and he does the same where he is more gifted.
- Self confident and Secure in himself and his own knowledge – and yet, will seek advice and counsel from his wife. He knows he is not in a competition, or a dictatorship. He married a thinking adult and shouldn’t be putout that she actually uses her brain and has an opinion or several.
- Emotionally healthy, and stable with no latent resentment toward women, insecurities, untreated jealousy or deeply buried rage.
- An excellent listener who listens with his ears, eyes, heart and mind. Paying equal attention to what is not said or done sometimes speak louder than what is spoken or acted out.
- Is Better than Botox. His wicked sense of humour and his ability to laugh at himself will ease the strain at critical moments. And dramatically reduce my frown lines..
- A Faithful spouse who remains committed to the life where he is often alone. His wife is out a lot, and has many late meetings and functions, more often than the average man could tolerate. He’s not the average man with an average mind…
- A good manager exercising faithful stewardship over the gift of family and all the family’s resources. No addictions to put this at risk, e.g. – gambling, abuse of substances, or such the like.
- Not jealous of his wife’s success and will do everything possible to support her career not undermine it.
These Essential Qualities of A Virtuous Husband are as I said basic non-negotiables. I stopped at 10 because I think all the little details that usually cause problems can be worked out in one or several of the items listed above. All of them are critically important so I didn’t bother to place them in any particular order. So, there you have it.