| || || |
Contrary to what many people think, the lives of men do not merely revolve around the hanky-panky activities in the bedroom. If you want your partner to be happy and content, you should do much more than give in to his sexual desires. Although, let's face it, giving him sexual pleasure is really a big bonus.
Aside from his needs down there, men also require understanding, attention, and even space. If you are clueless on how to please your man, do not lose hope. Below are surefire ways to really make your hubby happy.
Give Your Guy Some Space
One of things that men hate is a very clingy woman. Your partner also needs some time to spend with his friends, family and buddies so do not give him the look when he tells you he wants to go to the bar with Dan, go bowling with Phil, or spend quality-time with his daughter Eve. Your man will surely appreciate it if you trust him enough to do some things solo. However, if going solo seems to be the rule rather than the exception, then this might be a cause for alarm for you.
Treat Your Partner With Respect
If you want your partner to be happy and content with you, you need to treat him with respect, especially if both of you are with other people. Men have egos as big as Mt. Everest so when they feel that their partners are already disrespecting them or calling them names especially in front of their peers, they will really feel bad. You don't have to bow down to your hubby or let him treat you like dirt; all you need to do is give him the respect he deserves.
Constantly Tell Your Man How Wonderful He Is
Women should know how to boost the confidence of their loved ones. Instead of enumerating all the bad habits of your partner every time you talk, why don't you play up his good attributes every now and then? Reminding your sweetie of his nice abs, his gorgeous lips, his kind nature and his superb analytical skills will help him become more confident in getting a new job or trying hard to make a better life for himself and for you. However, if he really is irresponsible, nasty and mean person, pack your bags now and leave him.
Show Some Interest To The Things He Like
Men absolutely love women who try hard to understand the things that they are passionate about, such as cars and sports. If your man is into baseball, watching a few games with him and reading about this sport in newspapers will really make him extremely happy. You do not have to master the game, just being interested enough to ask him how his team is doing or what he thinks about the league should be sufficient to let him know that you do not think that his love for baseball is a waste of time and money.
Indulge His Fantasies
Spark your partner's interest by doing things his way from time to time. If he wants you to wear a nurse's uniform or your red stiletto shoes, then do it. This will add fun and excitement to your already spicy bedroom antics.
Exert Some Effort To Look Nice
Even if your relationship with your man is not based on physical attraction, you still need to pay attention on how you look. Any man will greatly appreciate it if he knows that you exerted some effort to be presentable as soon as he gets home. You should double your efforts into looking stunning if you have dinner with friends or family. Your man will surely feel lucky to have you if he hears nothing but praises for you from his buddies and family.
Please Your Man Without Losing Yourself
LIKE many women, you try to do it all. You work overtime on the job. You run yourself ragged to take the kids to and from their activities. You volunteer with your professional organization or a charity. And you try to maintain a meaningful relationship with your man.
There is only so much time in a day, only so many things you can do. After all, there is only one of you when you could use three.
Still, time and attention devoted to your man does not have to be the sacrificial lamb. Nor does your self-worth and individuality. Yes, it is possible to please your man and make him feel special without losing yourself. All it takes is love and commitment enhanced with thoughtfulness and creativity.
During these fast-moving times, many women (and men as well) spend a lot of time enhancing job skills or de-stressing with a hobby or in the gym. But few give much thought to how to keep the love alive. Without nurturing, relationships and marriages suffer.
By nature, women seem to have an extra gene for nurturing, and often the men in their lives are the beneficiaries. Many strong women know that caring for the men they love in no way takes away from their individual power or sense of self. When it is done because of love, women derive great pleasure from pleasing their man, from knowing that they are vital to another's well-being and happiness.
The key to being able to give to others is your own self-esteem, says Dr. Helen Davis Gardner, a psychiatrist at DuPage County Health Department and Illinois Masonic Medical Center in Chicago. "If you truly feel good about your inner self, that glow will reflect in your love for others. If you don't feel good about yourself, you can't openly support and nurture your man," she says. "Just as it takes time to nurture a flower or a child, relationships and marriages need the same time and attention if they are to grow and blossom."
Here are some things you can do to please the man in your life. In turn, your man will evolve into a more caring, sensitive lover and mate who will make sure you get the love that you need and deserve.
Show Your Appreciation.
Let your man know that you love and appreciate him. From time to time, tell him that you love him and the things he does for and to you. Sometimes a man just needs reassurance.
Make time for you and your mate to sit and talk, really talk, on a regular basis. Get in the habit of updating him on what's going on in your life. Tell him the ups and downs of your day, but without complaining; ask if he had any interesting encounters, whether he met any new people. And when he's talking, let him finish his thought. Some people hardly hear what the other person is saying because they are so eager to take control of the conversation again. Exercise self-control. Listen to what your partner has to say. Learn to open up and share your wishes and hopes and dreams. Don't let your marriage turn into one in which spouses never have anything positive to say to each other.
There is plenty to be said, some of it in the bedroom. Use pillow-talk time not only to explore your hearts and busy lives, but also delve into what you like about each other, what attracted you to each other in the first place. Even though you may know or think you know what turns him on, ask sometimes. He may tell you something you didn't know.
Choose your arguments with care.
Perhaps you have heard of the books, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and It's Small Stuff. Think about that the next time you feel a nag session coming on. Now that doesn't mean that you should accept verbal, emotional or physical abuse --or outright disrespect. But it is not necessary to make an issue out of everything.
Don't use quality time to nag and fuss. When you and your sweetheart are out on the town or simply enjoying each other at home, don't use this premium time together to discuss family problems or to correct all of his (or the relationship's) wrongs. And don't play therapist. You may know a thing or two about the human psyche, but don't use psychology lingo during your talks with your mate. It will only infuriate him.
Accept his flaws.
If you have been with your man for five years, you know the good, the bad and the ugly. Kindly, gently let him know that something he does drives you crazy, but accept the fact that he is the way he is. If he did it before you got married or committed to each other, then most likely he is going to continue to do it. Now if he's rude or crude and disrespectful, do what you can to help him change his bad habits, but in most cases, you can't remold the man you fell in love with.
Don't force your friends on your man, and vice versa.
Sure, you hung out with your girlfriend every weekend before you got married, but you now find your husband making snide comments about her frequent, unannounced visits. It is important that you distinguish between the roles that your partner or man and your friends play in your life.
No one should have to compete for your attention and affection. Your home is now his home, and he may tire of seeing Sue and Aisha lounging on the sofa--his spot--when he comes home from work. He may not want to spend every weekend hanging out with Kyle and Tisha. By being smart, you can lessen the tension at home without sacrificing your friendships. Rather than having your friends hang out at your home, ask them to meet you at a coffee shop or museum. Your man should not dictate who your friends are, but you should not force them on him either.
Surprise your sweetheart sometime by greeting him at the door dressed for a romantic evening at home. Fill the tub and offer to bathe him or massage him after his shower. Greet him warmly with a kiss on a regular basis. Touch him. Let him know that you like his body, that you want him. When he travels, slip a sexy or thoughtful note into his grooming kit. E-mail him a sweet note or leave one on the bathroom mirror or his windshield, or slip a note into his briefcase. Make a date for lovemaking and let him know you are looking forward to it and what you'd like for him to do. It is easy for women to get so caught up in hectic work schedules and caring for children that they don't take care of their man. Don't let that happen in your relationship.
Don't forget that the male ego is fragile.
He wants to be perfect, or at least he wants his woman to see him that way. Don't criticize the way he cleans the kitchen or folds the laundry. Don't make a big deal out of the fact that he put the canned beans on the shelf with the spices. Just be thankful that he's trying to help out. Rather than laughing and telling him his green shorts and red shirt make him look like an oversized Santa's elf, help him select his clothing. When he wears a pleasing combination, praise his good taste.
Accept the fact he loves sports.
If your man can't miss a football, basketball, baseball or soccer game (hopefully he's not into all of them), don't fight it. Moaning and groaning about his passion for sports is not going to score any points. Instead, join him at his own game. If you also enjoy sports, sit and watch games with him. Go to the stadium and whoop it up.
Even if you don't care for jockmania, you can win by designing your own game. When he's intent on watching a game, choose teams and decide upfront what the winner will receive. For instance, if your team wins, your husband owes you specific sexual favors; if his team wins, he decides what favors he wants from you. Use your imagination. Devise your own point-spread and rules. Before you know it, you both will be looking forward to Sunday's big game.
How to Please a Man - Some Basic Knowledge First
The Ultimate Toy
A Man’s “Little friend” is his Ultimate Toy which he keeps all of his life. The toy changes in his shape and size, and gives a very good feeling when touched. In This Area - A woman don’t have any competitors ( Maybe That is why women prepare themselves to this great game by caressing their hair a lot or occupy themselves with their nails). the answer to the eternal question of how to please a man starts and ends with his little friend.
Re - Arranging
One of the first things a man does when he opens his eyes in the morning is touching his litlle friend, and his testicles. That’s how a man wakes up and it has nothing to do with sexual stimulation. During the day, this intimate act of re-arranging his little friend occurs as a result of physical pain: Like when the scrotum sticks to one of his thighs or when his little friend sticks to his scrotum.
One of the best steps to get married is making fun of it and not getting disgust by it
The ceremony of peeing is not just an act of loosing needless liquids, but a very exact and constant ritual. Starting from the way a man takes out his little friend from his sheath and finishing with his special shake. Many times a man imagines to himself a target to aim to when peeing. These things help a man to build the special bond between him and his little friend.
When Men get to be naked together (as in the army or in public toilets) they mostly peep at one another and examining one each other’s little friends.
Our society teach a man that a woman’s sexual pleasure depends only on the size and hardness of his little friend - which causes a man to give exaggerated importance to his little friend.
If a man is fixed on the fact that his little friend is his symbol of manly hood , he will have exaggerated expectations from himself and therefore will have a problem to truly be with his woman, since he will be too occupied with his body and in being a “man”. Men who take their little friend too seriously, take their partner’s orgasm too seriously as well. For them it’s a matter of life or death. In that case both of you will become a sacrifice to the God of the big penis and your sex will look like an olympic race for a medal.
Unfortunately Men who take their little friend too seriously have lost the connection between being a good lover and a good performer. No way to cure them but it is important to recognize them.
Read again number 5!
A woman that can make her man confident and comfortable with his little friend - is a treasure! Thats the main lesson when learning how to please a man.
and thats exactly what men want in a woman!
ok, Now lets continue with the last 2 points:
Hard in the morning
With no connection to sex, sleep causes an erection. When he gets up next to you don’t think that he is hot. He is more like “I need to pee”. Don’t get me wrong there are men who will be very happy with a good morning sex - but make sure he feels like it before you start playing with his friend.
Some words on ejection
One of the main problems with teenagers is their ignorance about ejection - before manhood a child can masturbate without ejection. But if he doesn’t know that soon his masturbation will lead to an ejection that can cause him a lot of inconvenience.
In this stage one can really learn to become tantric and to separate the orgasm from the ejection. Unfortunately, most men don’t learn it and have to go back to tantra when they are 40. When a man comes to his 50 his little friend becomes softer and his amount of sperm descends.
Surefire Ways to Please a Man in Bed
Do you ever wonder what makes some women great lovers? For many, bedroom satisfaction is a confidence issue that comes down to one question: "Am I doing it right?" But the real question is, are you doing it right for your man? Whether your partner is new, temporary or your partner for life, your best bet for bedroom bliss is covering the basics first. If you want to improve your sexual technique, set aside some time with your partner to talk over what he likes in bed (preferably over a latte or a glass of merlot rather than under the satin sheets). As a sexologist, I can assure you that the more you know, the better a lover you can be. Need some help getting started? Here are three surefire tips for pleasing any man in bed. Take a look at the techniques described below, then bring these ideas to the table when you talk to your man about your sexual wishes.
Many men report that they would like their partner to learn how to talk dirty. It can feel very awkward to use language in the throes of your passion that makes you wince on the street. But using sexual slang can be a vital turn-on for your lovemaking forays.
I used to run workshops for sex educators. One activity in those workshops included a small group activity on sexual terms. Each of the five groups was given a large newsprint paper with a technical term written at the top, such as breast, penis, vagina, sexual intercourse, buttocks and oral sex. In five minutes they wrote on that sheet all of the slang terms they could think of (without censoring). After each group had completed the exercise, one by one, each group chanted out loud all the terms. If there was one term that they sort of choked on saying, they repeated it. After saying them all aloud, in front of the rest of the workshop participants, everyone in the room was howling and had become comfortable with sexual language of all kinds. You can practice something similar alone or with your sweetie to get comfy using "dirty" words.
Another great way to become desensitized to the sting of certain words is to watch adult films. Most porn videos use sexual slang, as those words provoke arousal in male viewers. Claim the power of sexual talk for your own gain. Use sexual talking to add tension and playful energy to your erotic connection with your lover, and you'll experience an improved level of sexual response for you both.
Try saying the words aloud to yourself in the mirror before you practice them with your partner.
A Hands-On Approach
If there's one thing that you probably never learned in health classes at school, it's how to touch the most private parts of a man. You may have learned about the shapes, parts and tubing in Anatomy 101, but I'll bet you never learned how to please a man by using your hands on his genitals. This skilled handiwork can be your best ally in bed, especially when you are tired or not in the mood. Sharing this intimate moment without having to engage in more intense sexual pleasure is a good option, especially if you are new to sex, newly involved with this lover or ambivalent about going further with this partner. Even for long-term married couples, a quick finger-dance can bring joy to your relationship with minimal effort.
Many men enjoy being touched sensually on their penis and scrotum (the sac that contains the testicles). The male's sexual anatomy really includes more than just the penis. Yes, men often enjoy being stroked, rubbed or caressed, gently or hard, up and down, on their penile shaft, the head of their penis (corona), at the little hot spot on the underside of the penis where the foreskin folds together (frenulum) or along the flat ridge between where the scrotum hangs down and the anal opening. Some men find ecstasy being touched on the anus or even having a finger probe internally for a prostate massage.
Just as with any sexual practice, ask your guy what works for him. If you don't feel comfortable talking openly about it, then watch for physical signs and cues. Men often find great joy in having a hand around their penis, or fingers stroking just the head of it or even a little tickling on their testicles. As you continue to manually stimulate him, you may notice that he is getting harder and longer and that his testicles are lifting -- all signs of arousal. Those are your messages that what you are doing is working. If you want to get more sophisticated with your manual touch, explore him with different styles of touch: hard, soft, light, circular, up and down, lightly using fingernails, using a silk scarf, dry or with a personal lubricant -- whatever comes to mind. The goal is not necessarily an orgasm, but to provide sensual pleasure. Ask him if he wants you to complete this as a sexual act, releasing him to orgasm, or just tease him for more pleasure later as you progress.
Going beyond the penis and caressing more of his body parts (the shaft, scrotum, anus and more) might mean more pleasure for him -- and more satisfaction for you.
A Little Oral Action
If there is one thing that many men crave from their woman, it's oral stimulation. Known by various names, such as "blow job," "going down," etc., the technique of putting your mouth around his penis can send a man to the heavens. Perhaps there is still a lingering taboo around such behavior that adds juice to the sheer idea of it. The fact remains that this is a perfectly acceptable way to give and receive pleasure as long as it is by consent between two adults with safer sex practices used. Studies show that certain STDs can be transmitted by oral sex, including the life-threatening HIV/AIDS. Using a condom for oral sex usually requires creative use of lickable brands, such as those with mint or other flavoring. It is sexy to be safe. Using protection, even with what appears to be a harmless act, is smart sex.
Just as with your handiwork, your mouth can touch the many erogenous zones of the male's body. Some men enjoy it when you lightly lick or flick your tongue on sensitive areas, such as the tip of the penis's head. Others delight in a hard sucking motion (slowly or vigorously) over the penis while your hand strokes up and down their shaft. Even playfully biting the penile head, shaft and the scrotum can be pleasing to your man. Vary his pleasure by changing your positions, movements and techniques frequently. If one behavior seems to excite him more than others, focus on that aspect of your oral repertoire.
Be sure to ask your guy if he wants you to release his penis when he reaches orgasm. It's a good idea to decide in advance if you are willing to swallow his seminal fluids. Most women will yell and scream that they don't want to complete the act in this way. Some will tell you that this is their most intimate moment in sexual exchange. You have to decide what's right for you. Remember, if you are using oral technique on your lover and allowing him to ejaculate into your mouth, you are at greater risk for an STD.
Experiment by moving your head in different positions or placing your tongue at different angles.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA