| || || | Ever gotten into a relationship that ended in a way you didn't want it to, and find yourself wondering if you did something wrong? Well, wonder no more - here are some common mistakes women make with men. This isn't a complete list, but it's a good start to see how well you've been performing on the dating game.
Mistake #1: Loving him for the man he "almost" is.
Some women get into relationships with men and, no matter how undesirable some of his traits might be, hold fast to the relationship in hopes she could change him for the better.
Women are attracted to men not by how the man is "nice" or "good," but by a powerful, subconscious "gut feeling." Women "feel" the guy is nice or good, and believe that his shortcomings can be remedied if they tried hard enough.
Unfortunately, this "gut feeling" rarely equates to a deeper connection with the man. Women who insist on turning him into the man he almost is are fighting a losing battle. Watch those gut feelings and use your head instead.
Mistake #2: Assuming men are only stimulated visually - period.
Many women make the mistake of assuming men to be purely visual creatures, and that men aren't as adept in verbal communication. That's why these women use body language on its own to trigger the men's attraction mechanism.
Another wrong move - looks may be the most obvious way to get their motors running, but it's not the most powerful way. Instead, the best way to attract your man is to use a combination of body language and verbal communication. Be careful though - this isn't easy, and takes a lot of practice.
Mistake#3: Pretending to be someone else just to get his attention.
People can't make other people happy if they're not happy themselves. It's never a good idea to play with a guy's fantasies and degrade yourself just to get his attention. How a man looks at a woman is determined by how much respect he feels he owes her. A woman who plays the role of a doormat or a nymph can't win a man's respect - much less his heart.
Mistake#4: Telling him how you feel too quickly.
Chances are that attractive, successful, and single men have healthy dating lives - they've had many dates and are quite adept with the types of women they encounter. For men like these, the type of women that raise red flags all over the place are the ones who say, "You know, I really REALLY like you" after one or two dates. It gives them the idea that the woman is a stereotypically clingy type who tends to rush into relationships.
Lean back, relax, and let the relationship grow naturally.
Mistake#5: Not reading the signs.
When men talk to you, they unconsciously give out signs as to just how ready he is to get into a deeper relationship with you. By listening carefully to what he's saying, you can accurately judge whether he's on:
- A social level, when he merely talks about his life and how he's doing;
- An emotional level, when he starts dropping hints that he's emotionally available;
- A physical level, when he tells you he's attracted to you and why; and
- The Love state, when he tells you he's open to building a relationship with you in the future.
Listen well, and plan your next move accordingly - he's basically giving his feelings away without knowing it!
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA