| || || | Every man desires to be that attractive guy that women want. We spend hours upon hours trying to figure out what is the ideal way to attract a woman, to get her interested in you. Yet, most men overlook a simple fact when they pursue their seduction education.
Regardless of how attracted a woman is to you, she will not be going home with you if she doesn’t feel comfortable with you.
If she doesn’t think that you’re the type of guy who will protect her and treat her as a woman, she will leave you and find someone who will. The trick to really getting her to want you is to learn how to make her feel comfortable.
A mistake many men make when they want to get to know a woman is to ask her an endless array of questions. They try this in an attempt to find commonalities with the women they pursue, an interest they share, a person they both know, a place they both go, anything that can lead to a more in depth conversation. This often has the opposite effect on them though. No woman wants to be on the other side of an interrogation. Instead of assaulting her with an endless array of questions, make solid statements that she can respond to.
State your feelings and observations instead of requesting a response. Don’t ask “What music do you listen to?” – say “I love 60s rock music.” By making statements instead of asking questions, you immediately set yourself apart from the other men and make it clear that you do not care about her reaction, while still allowing her to find commonalities with you. You are a man in your own right and you are proud of it.
Another way to make a woman feel comfortable in your presence is to reveal yourself bit by bit. When talking to her, don’t be afraid to share with her deep, personal stories about your life. The more emotionally charged the story is to you, the more your woman will feel, and even almost experience, the same emotions that you felt. By making yourself emotionally vulnerable to her, you are almost giving her the power over you and making it clear to her that you are willing to give her insight into your life. Women don’t want to be the experience – they want to share an experience with someone else. They want to be able to understand you and truly feel a connection with you, something which you make possible by sharing stories about yourself with her.
A skill that most men lack when it comes to picking up women is the ability to listen. So focused are they in getting what they want and making the woman see just how great a catch they are, many men just don’t care about what the woman says. Women can sense this about a man. Nothing is more frustrating and pushes people away than if people don’t listen to you. Hear what a girl tells you and remember it. Most men don’t even bother remember the names of the girls they approach! Listen to her and don’t judge what she tells you. If you remain non-judgmental, women will trust you more and open up to you, revealing some of their innermost secrets because they know that you won’t think any less of them for it.
The secret to making women around you feel comfortable is simple. By appearing open and non-threatening you immediately reveal yourself to be someone honest, while listening to her and being non-judgmental about what she tells you makes yourself trustworthy in her eyes. With practice, you can build up strong connections with many women who will always feel comfortable and trusting of you, something that the majority of men are unable to do.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA