| || |
| || || | Financial issues are some of the biggest points of contention within relationships. With our economy in recession--money worries are high in most households--and when money worries are high--the potential for relationship strain is high too. If your partner loses his or her job, you may need to cultivate some added awareness and sensitivity to ensure that your relationship doesn't head south as well. I hope these tips help you maintain happiness within your relationship when your partner gets laid off.
- Have compassion. Whatever stress, worry or disorientation you may be feeling over your partner’s job loss, your partner is sure to feel ten-fold. Be compassionate of these feelings.
- Speak positively. Say things like, “I believe in you,” “I know we will get through this” and “I feel optimistic.” Right now your partner needs you to be the rock and a source of inspiration. Your words hold more power than you may realize, so speak positively even if you don’t feel 100 percent optimistic about the situation.
- Create a realistic plan together. Get on the same page about how the two of you will move forward. Will your partner look for a new job immediately or take time to consider what the best next move will be? How much money does he or she need to earn in order to meet your family's financial needs? How many hours per day will your partner spend looking for work? Will your partner accept any job that comes his or her way, or will he or she keep the job search confined to his or her ideal field? Will you take on extra hours at work or look for a second job? Creating a plan will help you to avoid any conflicts and resentments that may occur from mismatched expectations.
- Talk frankly about spending habits and budgeting. Now is the time to get real honest about frivolous spending that happens in your household--both from your partner’s end and from your end. Now is the time to begin making positive changes in the way you manage your money.
- Brainstorm creatively. Think beyond the basic job search. Are their opportunities that you are overlooking? What skills does your partner posses that go beyond what he or she might put on his resume? Can he or she cultivate these skills further and focus them toward potential work? What opportunities exist that you might be overlooking?
Is there a part-time business that the two of you can start together?
- Seek support from family and friends. I don’t mean financial support as much as emotional support. Find out how other couples are successfully dealing with the economic downturn. By talking openly with your community of loved ones, you and your partner will feel less stressed and less alone.
- Make romance a priority. Don’t let financial burdens kill the romantic spirit of your relationship. Hug, cuddle, kiss, speak sweetly. Make kindness, love and play a priority every day.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA
| || |