Indulgent Parenting

Published on by CMe


Raising children is difficult and you need to find the right parenting style that is suitable for your children. There are many theories about how to raise a child, so that he/she grows up to be a responsible and morally sound person. There are many parenting styles to achieve this and permissive parenting style is among the most controversial ones. Permissive parenting has come under a lot of flak in recent times and there are many pros and cons of permissive parenting. So what is permissive parenting style? Permissive parenting style also known as indulgent parenting style is a style of rearing children in such a way that no demands are made on them. Parents are responsive of the children's wants and spend quality time with them, but they do not control them or teach them to behave in an appropriate manner. Permissive parenting is just the opposite of authoritative parenting where the parents are strict and set clear rules for their children. The upside of such a type of parenting is that children learn to be independent and are able to make their own decisions. The most glaring disadvantage is that they become spoilt brats and learn to undermine authority. Here we will discuss in detail about permissive parenting styles and also discuss its advantages and disadvantages.

Indulgent Parenting Style Effects
The permissive parenting style definition is a style of parenting where no clear boundaries are set for the child's behavior. The parents shower the child with love and attention but do not reprimand him/her for wrong behavior. There are no rules and parameters in permissive parenting style and many children are often bewildered by the number of choices that are given to them and the lack of direction that they receive from their parents. Such parents are often indulgent and can be said to be laid back and easy going. They do not punish the child for wrong doings neither do they correct the child's behavior. These parents firmly believe that the child should be allowed to make their own choices and as parents they should fully support such a decision.

The most negative effect of such a style of parenting is that the child is highly spoilt due to over indulgence from parents. As a child does not have the capability to know from right and wrong and the permissive parents too do not teach it, they become incapable of differentiating from right and wrong behavior. Children of such a parenting style think that the whole world is going to indulge them in a similar way and this sets them up for disappointments later in life. Also such children are prone to throw tantrums and behave in an outrageous manner when they don't get what they want. Another effect of permissive parenting style is that children, particularly adolescents, may take advantage of their lenient parents and indulge in many anti social activities.

This kind of parenting style might work well for shy, reticent and introvert kids as this parenting style gives them room to grow as an individual and they begin to blossom as a person. However, permissive parenting style will not work for rebellious and difficult kids. Some children will become manipulative and will act out to get what they want from their parents. Permissive parenting style examples are making few demands on the child to do household chores, or displaying table manners. As there are very few if any rules in the house regarding bedtimes, homework schedules or TV watching, the child does not learn to be responsible.

This was all about permissive parenting style. After reading about this parenting style you must have realized that it is not the best way to raise a child. Many parents who adopt this parenting style might do it because they were brought up in a highly strict environment and want to compensate for it. Whatever the reasons might be, permissive parenting style is not the right way to raise your child. As a parent you have the responsibility of not only giving love and affection to your child, but also teach them to be disciplined and help them to distinguish between what is right from wrong.


Hallmarks of a Permissive Parenting Style

  • parent is responsive but undemanding
  • Is accepting and affirmative of the child but makes few demands for responsibility or conduct.
  • The permissive parent tends to take a tolerant, accepting attitude toward the child's wants and impulses, including sexual and aggressive impulses.
  • Permissive parents have trouble saying no and setting boundaries and guidelines for their children.They tend to be lenient and to avoid asserting authority, or imposing controls or restrictions, or indeed, any confrontation wherever possible.
  • Few demands are made for mature behaviour, like displaying table manners, or sharing responsibilities around the home. There are very few rules governing the child such as for bedtimes, homework schedules, mealtimes, or TV watching.
  • Permissively raised children are generally allowed to control their own behaviour and to make their own decisions.
  • Inconsistent discipline creates problems around lack of responsibility, motivation and self control become more apparent.

Development of the Child
Findings for the permissive parenting style show that it appears to have more negative than positive effects, with children often being impulsive, aggressive, and lacking in independence and in personal responsibility.

Insecurity because of the lack of boundaries also creates problems which leave parents feeling perplexed after they have poured so much love into their children.

A permissive parenting style often creates children who are demanding and selfish, rather than loving and supportive in their approach to others.

The pendulum swing effect from strict, controlling, unresponsive parenting a few generations back, to the responsive and indulgent parenting of this style often brings great shocks for parents who believe they have done all they can to raise their children in a loving environment.

Often children from permissive homes, because of the high responsiveness from parents, have good self-esteem and better social skills, however they are also more likely to be involved in problem behaviour and be less motivated in school,through not having been held accountable for their own behaviour.

Permissive parents are more likely to also be overprotective parents too. This brings with it another whole new set of problems for the children who tend to be drowned and smothered by their parents.

Just as an upbringing with strict rules and punishments produces children who are more likely to have an external, rather than internal, moral code of conduct for themselves, so it is with children from the permissive parenting style.  Know Your Parenting Personality: How to Use the Enneagram to Become the Best Parent You Can Be
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