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| || || | "I want my husband to love me again, how can I do that?" is a question I often get on my relationship support forum. Women are feeling lonely and hurting in loveless marriages that they do not want to give up on.
Fortunately there are ways to repair your marriage and bring back the lost love. Restoring a marriage is not always easy and the same methods do not work for everyone, but let us take a look at some basics and see if we can get started.
All marriages go through ups and downs and there will be times when you wonder if your spouse still loves you. You may also wonder if you still love them. A woman who asks only for "my husband to love me again" may need to do a little self examination as well.
But first, what makes you think your husband does not love you anymore, did he tell you that? There can be a big difference between the way he feels and what you perceive. If he has not left you yet then there is a good chance he does still love you, we just need to uncover it and maybe prove it to him.
One reason husbands withdraw from showing love to their wives is when the wife becomes a mother and places all emphasis on the children. If a wife pays little attention to her husband, he can even feel a little resentment toward the children and feel unappreciated by his wife.
If this condition persists over time, the husbands love for his wife can cool or even disappear. Some wives make a husband feel that once he as provided her children, she really has no need for him anymore ("oh, but please keep putting money in the checking account, dear; and mow the lawn, and fix the roof...").
How about if I asked your husband whether you nag at him, what would HE say? I know, perhaps he is not pulling his weight around the house or with the kids, but trust me, nagging will not change that. Focus on building your relationship with him and he will WANT to do things for you.
Do you really respect and admire your husband? In what ways do you show that? Are you cutting him down, especially in front of the children or your friends? That needs to stop immediately if you are. Look for ways to build him up instead and compliment him on the things he does do.
You might ask, though, what if he treats me with no admiration and respect? That is a good question, and a fair one. My answer is to do what is right regardless of what he does; after all, you are the one trying to save the marriage, right?
Our hope is that the golden rule will kick in and he will realize he is not treating you as well as you treat him. Then he will look for ways to improve, probably gradually, that way he never has to admit he has been wrong. That is ok. We just want the result.
Getting your husband to love you again is not about placing blame on past wrongs, it is about moving forward doing the right things and hoping for the desired response. It may take a bit of time.
If you have not been affectionate towards him then gently return to a mode where you are doing little things, then increasingly bigger things to show him your affection. Start perhaps with just rubbing his shoulders when he is at his desk laboring over bills or paperwork. Let him know you care.
Once in while you can get out the photo album and recall happy times; show him the photos you think will put a smile on his face.
Take care of yourself too. Eat right, get some exercise and try to get proper sleep (I know that can be hard). If doing this improves your looks, great, I am sure he will like that. But even if there is no outward change, you will likely feel better, smile more often and have a more positive outlook.
And everyone finds that more attractive.
"I want my husband to love me again" does not have to be a perpetual cry from your lips. I have given you some things to try out that many find successful, and it should be a good start to winning back your husbands affections.
But do not think this is all there is to it.
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