Because of their selfish nature (and I mean that in the least offensive way possible), rebound relationships can offer a lot of benefits. The right rebound fling can help boost your ego, get you out of the house and back on the social scene, and even help you forget about the ex-girlfriend who made you eligible for a rebound relationship in the first place.
Yet, lots of people opt to avoid rebound relationships, and for good reason – they can be miserable as easily as they can be fun. If you’ve done – or are doing – and of the five following surefire goofs for screwing up a rebound fling, it’s probably time for you to get out and maybe even avoid rebound relationships altogether.
- Start Taking It Seriously
If this isn’t already a no-brainer for you, you don’t need to get involved in a rebound relationship in the first place. Most guys who get involved with rebound flings do so because they need to “fix” something their ex-girlfriends broke when the dumped them. This might mean they need an ego boost, someone they can hang out with on Friday nights, or even just someone who will take their minds off how brokenhearted they feel. This means rebound relationships generally take place right after – or very soon after – a break up.
So, getting serious about a rebound girlfriend is just asking for a whirlwind of trouble. You won’t admit it, but you’re probably an emotional wreck. All that emotional turmoil can lead you to “see” or “feel” things that just aren’t there. Plus, chances are you still have SOME feelings for your ex-girlfriend, and if you get serious about your rebound girlfriend you’re more than likely just transferring your feelings for your ex-girlfriend onto the rebound fling.
- Start Showing Jealousy
Actually, that should probably just be “Start Being Jealous.” As I said above, a rebound fling is great for a few things. She can help you feel better about yourself, help you get out of the house more, and even help you see that there are other girls out there. Fine.
But the minute you start getting jealous over things your rebound fling does or says, or other people she hangs out with, the relationship is no longer a rebound – it’s on it’s way to being serious.
- Start Letting Yourself Go
Whether it’s your hair, your clothes, your body, your weight, or your – ahem – personal hygiene, if you start letting yourself go, it means three things:
A. You’re getting entirely too comfortable with your rebound girlfriend.
B. Your rebound girlfriend is very likely to kick you to the curb.
C. You’re well on your way to NEVER finding someone once you’re ready for another serious relationship. Just because you now have someone paying attention to you doesn’t mean you’re allowed to get lazy.
- Start Allowing Her to Act Like Your Girlfriend
You can think about this in two different ways:
A. If you’re allowing your rebound girlfriend to act like your ex-girlfriend – and by that I mean doing all the nagging, annoying, mothering things your ex-girlfriend used to do – then you’ve screwed up your rebound relationship.
B. If you’re allowing your rebound girlfriend to act like she’s your serious girlfriend – and by that I mean she wants you to meet her family, move in with her, and looking at wedding magazines – then you’ve screwed up your rebound relationship.
- Start Sticking Around Once the Fun Is Gone
This is common sense, guys: A rebound relationship can provide a lot of things – misery included – but you shouldn’t hang around if any of those things are things YOU DON’T WANT – misery included.
If you’re more miserable with your rebound fling than you were by yourself – or with your ex-girlfriend – end it. Now. There’s no reason to have a rebound fling if it isn’t benefiting you in some way.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA