So you really want to know? It's actually much easier than you might think. Don't think it has to happen like it does in movies. That's not real life.
- The easiest way is to simply ask. Sure, you might come off as rash, but at the same time, you may seem brave. This is the most direct way, and you will definitely have an answer. Although some girls don't appreciate the openness you show them and may become offended about how abrupt you are being - There's always a more subtle approach of waiting for the right moment.
- Other ways are to pay attention to her body language. Is she getting closer to you? Does she seem nervous? Little things like that may indicate what she wants. Just be careful: she may be getting closer to you because she is cold, she may seem nervous because of something going on at home, etc. This is not a fool-proof way to find out. She may ask you what you find is a turn on, it isn't an indication that she's ready however, so don't always assume that it is.
- Talk about sensual scenes from movies and discuss if she thought they were sexy. This will be a good indicator of her thoughts of sex.
- If your girlfriend does in fact want to have sex, you should follow all the tips of this other manual: Have-Safer-Sex.
- Safer sex is always a better!!!!!!!!!!
- Be careful. Take things slow. Be Patient.
- Making love should be a shared desire. Neither of you should have to pressure each other. If she says no, understand it means NO
- The phrase I don't know is often said when a girl doesn't want to, they don't want to say so because they don't want you to lose interest or think she never will, however, this is a definite no until she feels ready; however it is a clear indication that she will want to in the future, do not pressure her, try asking again next time you are intimate.
- Notice if she's hinting that she wants to talk about the subject...if she didn't want to have sex with you, she wouldn't be wanting to talk about it. This means she's probably thinking what you're thinking, and this is how you know if your feelings are corresponding.
- Protect yourself and your sex partner from STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). The most effective is to using a condom.
- Protect yourself and your partner from unwanted pregnancy. Condoms, birth control pills, etc. It's not expensive, and it will save you a lot of trouble later on.
- Don't rush into having sex.
- If she says no, it means no. When the word No is uttered, even if you only think you heard it, stop advancing sexually. Doing so can be considered rape or attempted rape in court. It's not worth it to get that on your record. More importantly however, it can be difficult for a person to request that sexual advances or activity stop once they have begun and it is important to respect that request the first time it is communicated.
- Relatedly, make sure that before you continue on to a further level of sexual activity, your partner has clearly said yes, simply not saying "no" is not enough and most women will appreciate your making sure that they are comfortable before proceeding.
Things You'll Need
- Condoms (or other birth control)
- A Plan - "What if" the birth control fails. Know how each of you plan to handle the situation.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at City Girl UK