How to Act on a Date?

Published on by CMe

 

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How to Act on a Date?

 
 
   
Any date should include three things: interacting with each other, participating in a fun activity and having lunch or dinner together. When you go through all these three stages, you can be relatively sure if the girl you are dating is your type or not. The girl will also have a fair idea about you by the end of the day. Therefore, let us now discuss these three stages of dating.

For taking girls on date, you have to be ready to be both a good speaker and a patient listener. Verbal communication is one of the best ways to find out about other people. You need to maintain some rules while talking about yourself or various other subjects. The first rule is: be honest. Don’t falsify facts just to impress the girl, as you will soon be found out.

Similarly, don’t boast, as girls hate guys who brag. It is ok to let her know that you have recently got a promotion or something similar to that, but soften it up with ‘I am really lucky to get it you know. Actually my boss really likes me and he recommended the promotion.’ This will communicate that you are not overtly egotistical. Also, you have to be a good listener when the girl is talking and try to retain as much information as you can.

You should also indulge into an activity together when you take girls on date. It can be rock-climbing, finger painting, visiting an art gallery, watching a movie or any other activity for that matter which you think will be fun and exciting. For this, you have to make sure that the girl is at all interested in the activity you have planned out.

Having lunch or dinner together is an essential part of taking girls on date. However, remember this may not be an expensive restaurant. You can take her to a quiet and homely restaurant where the quality of food is exceptionally good. Chinese, Thai or Italian restaurants can also be considered. However, while ordering, make sure that you date does not suffer from any kind of food allergy.


Don't surprise your date.

Don't surprise your date with a hatchet movie, meal, etc. on the first date. They may be allergic to horror films - and you don't want to 'surprise' a vegetarian with a dinner at "Harvey's House of Beef."
With a 'surprise' date you could end up with a teetottler at a wine-tasting, or a lactose-intolerant date at a cheese fest - you get the picture...


Go to a playground.

Go to a playground that's not in use and play!
Take along a picnic lunch, baseball, bat, Frisbee or outdoor toys (blowing bubbles is fun)…
Have a great lunch after playtime.


Be honest.

Be honest, don't play games. Avoid even stretching the truth, the first time you're caught it will destroy your credibility.


Be on time

Be on time. Lateness is inconsiderate (not to mention it reveals all sorts of things about your personality such as your passive-aggressive tendencies).
If your date is late, be pleasant, and listen to their reason - it might be legitimate.


If your date compliments you

If your date compliments you don't just brush it off or say something rude about yourself, say thank you and do NOT put yourself down.


If you're concerned about topics of conversation.

If you're concerned about topics of conversation, be sure to read a newspaper or watch a news program that day so you're up on world events. 


Keep checking the inside
Keep checking the inside (give the exterior stuff a rest).

If you stay focused on looks you may end up ignoring or dumping a perfectly fantastic person without ever really giving them a chance.


Try a sporting event.

Try a sporting event neither one of you have ever seen live: a polo match, professional tennis tournament, golf tournament, dressage, volleyball, tractor-pull, sumo-wrestling - whatever you can agree on doing together that's different.





Dating Etiquette:
What about door etiquette?

A polite guy/gentleman opens doors for girls.
Holding the door is worth extra points rather than just flinging it open.
Open the door, step to the side while the girl passes through (nod with an,
"After you," if she hesitates - she could be mildly stunned).
Girls - at this point, thank the guy, smiles are good - always nice to encourage kind behavior in anyone.
Guys - respond, "You're welcome," and, when the girl's gone through the door, go through it yourself. 


When should a guy stand up for a girl?.

Traditional etiquette is for a boy/guy/man/gentleman to stand when a girl/gal/woman/lady enters the room,
and when she departs. In general - anyone, regardless of gender, should stand when an elder, or a very important person, enters or leaves the room.


And revolving door etiquette?.

Guys, when walking with a girl, if you encounter a revolving door, you should enter it first so that you can push the door.
(No fair spinning it out of control - that's for your guy-buds.) 

What is the etiquette for walking into a room?.


What is the etiquette for walking into a room?.

When walking into a room or walking to seats at a theater, concert hall, movie theater, church, lecture hall, the girl goes first, both into the room and the row of seats.
Similarly, in a restaurant, maitre d' or hostess leads you to a table, the girl precedes the guy



Dating Etiquette: When to Whip Out Your Wallet

Money and the "Dollar Diva" are often at odds because as much as women like to exercise their independence and free will, a surprising amount of women (including me at times) are bound by old fashion ideas when it comes to men and money.


DEFUSING DOUBLE STANDARDS

First let's address the concept of a "cheap" date. Is there really a valid argument for considering a man to be a cheap date because he doesn't pay for the meal, entertainment, drinks or whatever costs were involved with the date?

Is it really fair to consider a man who does not pay for a date "cheap" when under the same circumstances that label would not be placed on a woman? Much can be revealed about how truly "modern" you are by how you answer these questions.

I call this the "Dollar Diva Dilemma" because it represents the classic double standard when it comes to money. If the same rule would not apply to you as a woman then it should not hold true for a man.

Deep rooted beliefs die hard and even in the 21st century a large majority of women still believe that how much a man spends on her (or doesn't spend) is a direct connection to his feelings about her or at the very least, an unwelcome introduction to his "cheapness." 

Generally, a man who prefers that a woman "pay her share" will feel uncomfortable bringing it up because he's afraid that the woman will consider him to be cheap. That might not necessarily be a true or fair assessment of the person or the situation.

On the other hand, a large majority of men feel uncomfortable with a woman paying the bill. They see it as insulting and believe that it somehow suggests they are not capable of providing.

The whole thing can be pretty confusing for all involved, so what's a Dollar Diva to do when dating? Here are a few ideas.


ALWAYS BE PREPARED TO PAY

Ladies, if you ask someone to dinner, I believe that you should be prepared to pay the bill. When the bill comes to the table, make an effort to pay it. However, if he insists on paying the bill, let him. The next time that you go out, (assuming there will be a next time) make it known that you will be picking up the check.

If he asks you out to dinner, you should still make the offer to pay and be prepared for him to take you up on that offer. This is not as much of a matter of pride as it is a matter of principle. If you have no intention (or means) of paying at least half the bill then you should not accept the date. Period.

Being a Dollar Diva often means wearing your independence as a badge of honor. If that's the case, then act like it. You should always have the financial resources available in that pricy Prada wallet of yours to get yourself out of any jam that might be created if a date goes wrong. That includes cash for a cab or car service to get you back home safely, money to cover the meal, movie or anything else that you decide to do, and access to a cell phone or calling card in case of emergency.

The truth is one man may be offended if you offer to pay the bill or even just your half while the next man would be delighted and encourage you to have at it. Neither is better than the other, but to avoid feeling blindsided, open communication up front is the key. Never just assume that the man will pay.


PARDON MY REACH

When the bill is placed on the table in equal distance between you, who should reach for the bill first?

The old fashion answer is, the man should reach for it first and that gesture will signal that he is taking full responsibility to pay.

The modern answer is, the women should leave the check in place but reach for her purse. This generally signals her intention to pay (at least a portion of the bill.) If reaching for your purse does not cause the man to make a move for the check, then the woman should assume the full responsibility to pay.

Don't get flustered or annoyed for being "stuck" with the bill, especially if all date long you're telling him how independent you are, and how annoying it is that men are intimidated by strong independent women.

However, if the man is willing to pay the bill, as the woman who has also enjoyed at least half of whatever was shared, you should at least make the genuine offer to split it.

Or, if you believe that paying the bill will cause an uncomfortable moment at the table that you absolutely want to avoid; you can always discreetly leave the table (i.e. go to the rest room) and provide the server with your credit card in advance. If you do this, you are assuming full responsibility for the bill.


THOUGHTFUL TIPPING TECHNIQUE

The restaurant industry is a very demanding business, when eating out you should expect to get great service from your waiter or waitress and you should be fully prepared to tip them accordingly. I suggest at least 20 percent of the bill.

If your date insists on paying for the full bill then it would be a thoughtful gesture to offer to cover the tip. Be sure that you have cash on hand for this as it will be awkward to try to put it on a credit or debit card.

Have various loose bills available that will allow you to leave the tip without asking for change and always round up to make the tip an even dollar amount..



Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at  MetroSexual LA

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