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How do you keep passion in your marriage?
Step 1 Our mates deserve love. The relationship between a husband and wife outside of the bedroom will determine the sexual passion in the bedroom. To build a strong foundation for a happy sexual relationship, you must honor each other with respect each day. Marriages built on respect are also built on communication, oneness of thought, trust, peace and passion. The sexual bond in marriage has sometimes lost its ability to hold 'til the death do us part. How do you build a sexually passionate marriage based on respect, communication, trust, peace and oneness of thought?
The five steps:
Step 1: Respect your mate's needs. Sometimes we feel that whatever we are going through is the only thing in life. We forget that our personal and married lives are made up of these people, places and events that touch us each day. Our mates deserve the love we had for them when we first fell in love. Remember whatever it took to get the love of your life is the same thing it will take to keep them.
Step 2: Talk about your needs. Without communication there is no marriage because it is the only means of life support. How can you satisfy your mate's needs or have your needs satisfied if neither of you know what those needs are? Therefore, communication is the lifeline of a marriage.
Step 3: Trust your mate. Trust that the love that founded your marriage is the same love that holds it together. There are no guarantees in life, which is why we must trust that our mate has our best interests at heart. If you feel that you can not trust your mate, then why did you become man and wife? If you marry someone with blinders on, you only hurt yourself.
Step 4: Keep peace within the marriage. Peace comes from forgiveness of error. We all make mistakes each day without intention. Where would we be if every mistake is magnified into an issue of blame? Do not blame your mate for being human; allow for mistakes and forgive wholeheartedly. Let the past be the past and the present be the foundation for a future.
Step 5: Sustain oneness of thought. In your vows to become man and wife, you promised to be one. In order to be one, you must have oneness of thought; how can a house stand when there are two forces pulling in opposite directions? Use your powers to build up your mate, and never try to break him or change him. Remember who you fell in love with.
Be realistic in your expectations of your mate. Remember that she is human with all the same frailties we all possess, you included. Do not try to make her live up to a fantasy or dream of what a mate should be. (Our dream mates are usually fairytale prince or princesses that we dreamed of or read about as a child--not reality.) The perfect mate is the one who respects your needs, communicates openly, builds trust, works toward peace and builds you up with love and kindness. Marriage is a precious gift, which is why the passion that is felt when you love someone is so strong. This passion makes the sexual relationship energetic, dynamic and strong. You must not let the pressures of daily living smother your flames of pleasure. Do not just have sex with your mate; you must make love to your mate unselfishly. Make each other remember why you fell in love each and every time.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA