Heartbroken, Disappointed, Angry And Down Right

Published on by CMe





Heartbroken, Disappointed, Angry And Down Right

Going through a break up is not an easy adventure to reach. Even So, there are a several tips and ideas that helps you do it less complicated and more fast-paced. For sure forgetting about a break up becomes smoother with time but you can affect that time go more imperviable by keeping a live attitude and centering on you. Moving on after a break up is in reality an ideal time to focus on your life and on improving yourself.

Though to cope with a messy break up is frustrating it may be luring to persist in contacting the person you shouldn't be dealing with and ask why or attempt to put the parts back together. This is the unloveliest thing you need to play because it keeps the person fresh in your head. You need a little space to acquire some view, study your feelings and look at what was bad from a non subjective view. Under no considerations should you pursue in naughty activity with your ex. 

In seeking to deal with a been dumped, learn to handle with your emotions at first. You may feel wrath, unhappiness, and guilt. If you require a good cry for awhile, don't be concerned to do so. It can be affective. Those who like you are there to aid you so use them. Speak to them about your damage and heed to their suggestions. Once in a while a third party can give a different position on matters and make you feeling better. If nothing else materializes, you can be engaged with their company so you are not continually remembering of your ex 

Work on you. While getting over a break up, it is the perfect time to concern about your lacks and needs. Who fears what your ex thinks? Do you want to shave your head, get new clothes, take a course or make some shifts in your life? This is a uncorrupted time to exercise those things. Cuddle yourself a little while. You may not have shopped for a new outfit last week but do it now. You will look a lot fresher. Don't exaggerate it, though, or your money matters might supercede your relationship distresses! Getting over a messy separation is not easy, but with a few hints and thoughts, on how to get over a break up it is possible.

http://tinyurl.com/yzm24s9How to Strengthen Your Relationship - Aggravated and Disappointed

There are several things going on in every relationship. What seemed glamorous and wonderful turned into reality with a lot of people telling you, "I told you that you were too young." When you get seriously involved when too young then you lose your going through the time when you are carefree and exploring life.

You made a choice to get serious and have a baby and now you are stuck with the whole thing. You are not angry and distrusting with him--you are angry and distrusting yourself. You are angry because he can't make you happy and you know what? He can't make you happy because another person cannot make you happy. You are probably also angry because you are stuck being a mother instead of out having fun. The realities of the responsibilities of being a mother and going to school are tough.

You need to take charge of your own life and your own happiness. Happiness is an inside job and is not caused by what another person does or snooping, distrusting, feeling fearful, and getting angry and pushing your guy away, making him "prove" his love to you over and over, because that is what you are doing. 

I suggest you look in the mirror and take a good, hard look. Tell yourself that you chose this life and by darn you are going to be happy. Yes, you have missed some good times but it sounds like you have a pretty decent guy. Yes, he has had those feelings of missing youth, too, and has had an emotional fling with another girl but it didn't get serious and he keeps hanging in there because he loves you. Tell yourself that you have a beautiful daughter and so you must go ahead and grow up and do what you need to do to make a good relationship. 

Don't be offended at my telling you to grow up--believe me--we all have to keep growing up in one way or another. No one misses out on the need to take charge of themselves and accept and work on things from time to time.

Now, you can do this. Look what you have done so far. You finished high school and now you only have two years left in college. That is just wonderful! Build on your strengths and there are many. You must really be a very strong person.

This is what you do. Make a firm decision to be happy and then make a plan of happiness. One thing is to make sure that once a week, someone watches your little girl for you and you do something by yourself for yourself if it is nothing more than taking a walk in the park and enjoy the beauty of nature. Go to a movie with a girlfriend or go the the library and browse through books that are inspiring in some way or go to a museum. Do something different to feed your soul.

The next thing is to make sure you play with your daughter. Play board games or dolls with her or something, at least 3 times a week and make sure you laugh with her (maybe you do this already). 

The next thing is that make sure you have one night a week as a date night with your boyfriend. Just the two of you. Depending on your budget either go out to dinner, or even a fast food restaurant. During that time DO NOT talk about any problems you have together. Laugh and be his girlfriend and call him boyfriend, honey, or other endearing names. 

The next thing is that every time you start to worry about him and who he is talking about stop it right then. Talk back to your brain and say, "I am in charge of what I think and I choose not to be jealous any more. I have confidence that I will be fine no matter what happens and right now I am going to enjoy what I have." And that is what you do. You start enjoying the relationship.

How horrible and sad to be so worried and paranoid that you miss out on the wonderful relationship you have. Do not let these thoughts rule you--you rule them. So, when you get a negative, instead of worrying and snooping send your husband a cute text and tell him that he is a handsome devil and you miss him. Or, go do some little thing for him so he knows you are or have been thinking of him. Tell yourself that you are in charge and you choose to build this relationship instead of tear it down.

One reason why you might feel this way, too, is that you are not married. That should be done as soon as you can work out a good relationship. In the meantime build a great girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. 

If you write it out and write down all the steps you can think of to build a great relationship this will occupy your mind with positive things and will help to push out the negative.

The battle for happiness is in our mind where free agency lives. We do not have to behave the way we are programmed, like the animals do. God gave us a mind that we can use, either to help us or to hurt us.
















http://tinyurl.com/ydwowobAre women wrong to feel disappointed when husbands forget important occasions

Acceptance Of A Husband Who Never Remembers.....
We marry our husbands for more then their gift giving ability. Yes, it would be nice to be remember on special occasions. It is perfectly normal to feel sad and disappointed when our spouse forgets us. This makes feelings of being unloved arise. These feelings are often hard to conquer as the marriage progresses and more lapses in memory persist. It can often actually lead to grudges and actions which might be detrimental to the marriage as so many women find themselves wishing for something more. Arguments will erupt and a general feeling of not mattering will persist for the wife.

I met my husband three years ago. We rushed into marriage way too fast. I thought he was wonderful for those few months before marriage. But I was soon to find out a few flaws that often make our marriage hard to handle. The first one came during our first Christmas as man and wife. I love Christmas and I go all out. We had a huge tree and the house was all decorated. My husband shopped for his two children. As the days passed the tree became surrounded in presents for them. I would often find myself looking around the tree for one gift containing my name but there was nothing. Not even a card. I convinced myself that on Christmas morning he would surprise me with something but that morning came with nothing but a flurry of activity as his teenage son and daughter ripped into their gifts. There was nothing for me. Not even a card. I had bought my husband several nice gifts that I had put so much thought into but he had bought me nothing. I tried to understand when he said that he felt Christmas was for his children. He was not used to thinking of a wife for Christmas. So I swallowed my disappointment and let him promise to be better.

Valentines day came. I booked reservations at a very expensive restaurant and I bought him a card complete with lots of candy and a couple of small gifts. He came home from work with nothing for me. Not even a card. Still I trudged on and let myself believe he had forgotten.

Finally my birthday arrived. I don't know what I expected but I guess I expected something. My step children had all had lavish birthdays with cake and lots of presents, then a dinner trip to a restaurant of their choice. But he didn't even remember my birthday.

Our anniversary was no different. It slipped away without even a card.

Now we are approaching our third anniversary. We have a lovely baby daughter together and we are expecting a son. But I know he will not remember our anniversary again. This year I will say nothing about it. Just like I did last year. I just keep my mouth shut and pretend its just another day.

And with Christmas this year comes melancholy as I wish that one of those many many gifts sitting under the tree was for me but I know there is not a one there. I have given up hoping he will give me a card or buy me a gift. I will buy him something but I know there will be nothing for me. Do I still feel disappointed? Sure. Am I hurt? Sure. But I accept it. I wonder most of the time how my husband even really feels about me. I think that I am just here because it was expected of him. He got married because he was pushing forty and wanted a step mother for his children. But does he love me with that 'true love'. No, he does not. I spent many years with a man who never forgot a birthday, Christmas, or a 'just because I love you' card. But after many years we went our separate ways. But he seemed to feel that 'true love' for me that my husband will never feel. So I accept him as my husband and my partner. I no longer voice any disappointment during the holidays or special occasions. I just accept that its the way he is. We make a life together. Now the days of romance and presents and cards are gone for me. But in their place I have a beautiful daughter and a baby on the way so my husband has in a way given me the very best presents I could ever ask for. My children. But will I continue to feel disappointment over him never remembering a special occasion. I will just keep it to myself.

Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at  MetroSexual LA


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Comment on this post

Sarah 02/08/2010 18:05

Thanks for this great article! I recently went through a breakup and I wouldn't wish the pain and heartbreak on anyone! One of the great ways to heal is to move on, even if just going on some
harmless dates. There are plenty of other prospects out there! I just entered this $1000 Dream Date Contest: http://bit.ly/DateCheckContest

Talk about a great way to move on, going on your dream date! Even if it's not with Mr. Right, Mr. Right Now can be a good distraction!