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| || || There are things in life, besides death and taxes that are inevitable. If you're trying to figure out how to fix marriage issues, then you're smack dab in the middle of one of those inevitable things. |
Marriage issues will happen, and it's how you deal with them that will make the difference in a failed marriage or eventually a happy...or at least content one.
Here are Five tips on How to Fix Marriage Issues so You Never Have to See a Divorce Lawyer...
- Don't go blabbing. Blabbing about your problems to everyone you know will do nothing but make problems worse. You'll get bad advice, you'll taint the image of your partner, and frankly it's nobody else's problem.
- Stop and Breath. It's not a time to panic right now; it's time to take action. Panicking and thinking that things are going to come to a crashing halt and that your marriage is doomed is exactly opposite. You need to stay calm and take things one step at a time. Most things are just misunderstandings. Mountains turned into mole hills. Granted some things like cheating or lying are huge, but there may even be underlying reasons and therefore valid solutions for those as well.
(Of course if there is abuse, there is no excuse, and the best likely situation is to get the heck out of that marriage or relationship)...
- Don't be Spiteful. It's amazing how many people will ask the question of how to fix marriage issues, and there solution somehow becomes to be spiteful and get revenge. This is always the wrong thing to do. This causes further resentment, causes a spiral of bad behavior and worse marriage issues, and does nobody any good. Worse yet, if you have children you're teaching them how to behave in spite and it will not serve them well.
- Don't Point Fingers. Okay, we've all heard that it takes two to tangle. And I know that sometimes it IS actually the other persons fault, but it actually does no good at all stating that fact, or even eluding to it. The best approach is to kind of step back, take the marriage issue at face value, and handle it like any problem. There's a chance that you're spouse doesn't even know that what they're doing is wrong, or is hurting you. Or they may think you're crazy for being hurt about it. So the next thing that you have to do is...
- Listen ... and .... Speak Honestly. Notice the order that these two are in. There's a good reason for that. I can't stress enough how important listening is. If you'll listen better, you'll have less of an inclination to point fingers and blame. You'll actually come up with some insights on things that you (yes you) might actually be doing that's having a negative impact. Listening is key! But so is speaking honestly. You have to give your side in the most honest way possible or else nothing will ever get solved. Don't hold back to protect the others feeling, or your own. Lay out the issues and go to work fixing them.
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