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Most men work up an anxiety when approaching a woman.
Once you know what works and what doesn't, you will find that your anxiety will drop and success is on the way.
Ask yourself how many women that you have targeted to become your date that ultimately becomes your friend? Sometimes it seems that the harder you try, the more they are repelled from you.
If you believe that one day all of a sudden, a beautiful woman will just drop in your arms, it's just a dream, that's it! Nothing but a dream! You must take action to make things happen; it doesn't just happen on its own.
Ask yourself if you're a man who has the right attitude? What are your reactions around women?
From speaking to hundreds of men, I have found that being a nice guy doesn't always work, because the woman you were trying to attract ends up being just your friend. However, having said that, you don't have to become a bastard as well.
You must realize that you must add the Mr Nice guy with what she is ultimately seeking, whether it is romance, sexiness, playfulness, excitement, or eroticism. This you must find out. Period.
So don't give up on being Mr Nice just because it hasn't yielded the results you desire. You just need to find out what are the needs of that particular woman you are trying to attract and meet those needs.
This does not mean that you become someone that you are not and then feel very uncomfortable about it. What it does mean is stepping up and becoming a bigger person than what you have been in the past. A kind of self improvement if it may.
To successfully date, you must put your best foot forward if you desire the results. Doing things differently than you may have in the past does not mean that you are not true to yourself. Some may say 'this is who I am, if she doesn't like it, then so be it'. Ask yourself, if you were looking in as a third party, would you go out with yourself? Don't ever feel that you are manipulating and being someone that you're not, all you are doing is improving yourself.
Think about the woman who tries to attract men everyday. They always try to look there best by applying a face full of make up, with their nails done etc. I'm sure that they don't do this if they were just going to spend a night at home by themselves would they? They are not being deceptive or trying to become another person, all they are doing is trying to show the best of themselves to others.
Men should also do the same. There is no shame in improving yourself and showing the best you have to offer.
- Make her laugh. Humorous flirting and seduction will easily lead to phenomenal results. Women love a good, clean joke and keep things light and innocent. For young and mature women, there’s nothing more refreshing than devoting a few minutes to the flirting game of teasing. Crack a clean joke or two while you’re watching her get your drink ready then do it all over again the next day. You’ll easily be the one she will look forward to for her daily laughter.
Tips on how to attract girls by using humor is something that just about anyone can do. The key is confidence when dishing out jokes. Always be spontaneous and make your goal to get her to relax and enjoy herself. Jokes that will turn her off are those that are scripted, too raunchy, political or lack confidence. Remember that by making her laugh you’re goal is not to pick her up, just to make her smile and remember you.
- Gaze at her, don’t just look. Women love to be gazed at and they hate to be stared at or looked at. There’s a difference and you know it. Finding out how to attract girls means learning how to appeal to her vain side. She’ll more likely grin back if she can feel your sincere interest. Let your body language and confident smile communicate your objective of dating her in the future. The easiest way to open a conversation with her is to follow up your sincere gaze with a confident “hello”. Let her know that you’re looking and smiling at her, and no one else.
- Keep your hands relaxed and ready for a handshake - Women are continuously reading people and she can sense vibrations from others much more subtly than most men can. She may not be able to read your mind, but she can certainly feel your vibe. Don’t keep your hands tucked inside your pocket, which only communicates lack of confidence, and freely use gestures to illustrate a point. Studying how to attract girls could also mean matching a woman’s intuition.
- Take charge of the next step – You’ve introduced yourself to her and now she knows you’d like to get to know her more. Now it’s up to you to take the next step, don’t expect her to make the next move. Try not asking her to go out for a drink, which may imply that you want to get her drunk or that you need alcohol to loosen up. Instead ask her to go for coffee, tea or a hot chocolate. Your goal is not to send her off without getting her number or making plans for the next minute, the next hour or the next weekend. Depending on how she declines the invitation, you may have the opportunity to give her your number. Never take her “no” for the final answer unless she tells you that she’s married, engaged or already has a boyfriend. Your quiet confidence will tell her that you are not ruffled by a turn down, and that you’re may be a hot stud that she should not pass up.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA