Dedicated to Cleaning Up The Problems In Your Marriage

Published on by CMe



Dedicated to Cleaning Up The Problems In Your Marriage


Does your marriage revolve around your children or grandchildren? Do you and your spouse spend too much time apart? Have you grown apart? Imagine your marriage 20 years from now. How is it going to be if you keep up with your current approach? If you don't like the thought of your future with its present course, then your marriage may need a spring cleaning.

Ernest Holmes said, "Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it." Have your thoughts undermined a once great relationship? If so, you can redirect your thoughts and thus redirect the future of your marriage. Most couples put more effort into the planning of their vacation than they do their marriage. Remember the days of dating each other? You couldn't get enough of each other and gladly gave a lot of attention to your partner. After a couple gets married they are pulled apart by things like their career and the needs of their children. A routine develops and if the couple isn't careful, so does a sense of boredom. Unfortunately, your spouse tends to get blamed for the boredom. But don't be too quick to judge. Simply because you have been together for a number of years doesn't mean that you know your spouse today. People change. As men get older, they tend to shift focus from their career to their family. Women tend to go in the direction of career because they have put their career pursuits on hold for the sake of their children. The goals you had early in the marriage have probably changed. But your partner may have the assumption that you still want things the way they were in the beginning. Especially in the ages between 35 and 55, what's important to you and what matters most are usually being re-evaluated. Talk with your partner about what is really important to you. What would make your life more satisfying? Listen to your spouse. Encourage them to share their views. Be open to what they say. Don't be too sensitive or defensive. Don't be judgmental. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you overreact to what they say, your spouse isn't going to talk to you. Try to be accepting and positive of what your spouse has to say even if what you hear surprises you. If you have a hard time keeping your mouth shut, I suggest you sit on your hands. Somehow this simple behavior helps you keep quiet so that you just listen. Remember, one good idea could be life changing to your marriage. Be curious and eager to know your spouse all over again. It doesn't take both of you to do the spring cleaning, even though it helps. You'd be surprised by what one dedicated spouse can do. And just like the spring cleaning of your home, your marriage deserves many cleanings. Keep your marriage fresh and alive. Tap into your ability to dream again. Rediscover the beauty of your husband or wife. Take one step today towards the renewing of your marriage. Then take another step tomorrow. And so on and so on.. 

Here are some additional "cleaning solutions" for your marriage.

  1. Try to see your spouse with fresh eyes.

  2. Keep your mind focused on your spouse's positive qualities.

  3. Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Forgiving yourself and your spouse is an attribute of the strong.

  4. If you are keeping score of your spouse's mistakes, you are setting your marriage up to fail.

  5. Life is too short to allow boredom to infiltrate your marriage.

  6. Good things often come from the difficult times.

  7. Strive to genuinely understand your spouse. 

  8. Break your routines to keep the marriage exciting.

  9. Maintain an attitude that encourages openness. 

  10. Strive to find the magic that is waiting to be discovered in your spouse Romance After a Dry Spell 

Within a marriage, there will be times when you feel extremely close to your spouse and there are other times when you may feel very distant, or there's a dry spell. This is perfectly normal and happens in any marriage. However, when the dry period or the distance is left for too long, consequences may have to be dealt with. Luckily, there are many ways that you can rekindle the romance after a dry spell and keep your marriage running long and strong. Here are some tips to do just that!
  • Make a commitment to spend more time with your spouse. For instance, you could make a promise to yourself or have a goal of spending an hour a day with your spouse. It doesn't have to be romantic, heart to heart conversation time. As long as the two of you are doing something you enjoy together, you will be fine. Try watching your favorite movies together, or taking a long walk. You can even go out and do some fun things, like bowling or something else that the two of you enjoy. Spending time together with each other, doing things that are enjoyable will help those bonds get stronger.

  • Do something to excite your spouse or something that will knock their socks off. They know how you are and for the most part, our spouses expect a certain behavior from us. Do something that is not at all like something you would normally do. Be sure it's something that would delight your spouse and completely blow them away. For instance, if you would normally go to bed wearing a baggy t-shirt and socks, wear something completely sexy and make your husband think he's died and gone to heaven! Or, rather than going out with the guys on 'guy night,' leave and come back to pick up your wife in a limo for a special date night! These kinds of things will keep your marriage hot and spicy, and you will have a lot of fun with it!

  • Think back to the 'dating' time you had with your spouse. What were some of the things that you used to do which really excited or made your spouse happy? Try to recapture some of that exciting time and make your spouse remember why he or she chose you out of all the other people they could have chosen. Do something sweet and romantic or something sexy and exciting. Staying away from a complete and total routine all the time is a good thing and will help keep things interesting.

These may seem like simple things to do in order to keep the romance high in your marriage. However, they are some of the most effective things that you can do. Keeping things interesting and exciting within your marriage is not hard. Simply think of it as if you were dating and trying to impress your spouse. This will help you go a long way. If you don't stop trying, you will see the benefits in a strong, exciting and happy marriage and in a loving, caring and dedicated spouse! to Accept a Workaholic Husband

There are men who prefer to work as little as necessary and there are those who base their self worth on their job. Men who work twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, can be difficult to live with; but some key points will help ease the pain of your loneliness and frustration. Is you husband dedicated to his work?
  1. Remember he values himself based on his job; therefore he will probably be harder to live with if he isn't working all the time.

  2. When you're feeling frustrated and angry that he isn't there to help out or keep you company, remember it is better he have a career than not.

  3. Encourage him on his choice of occupation. This goes a long way when he's miserable at his present job, and you would want him to do the same for you.

  4. Try not to be jealous of his career. It isn't another woman your husband is with, it's his place of employment.

  5. Stay busy and focus on your own career, hobbies or family. This will ease the pain of loneliness and make you a happier person.

  6. Always keep in mind that it could be worse; you could have a husband that won't work at all.

  7. Remind yourself of the extras the family has because of his work and appreciate him for his effort.

  8. Don't panic if he wants to change careers. If he is a worker he will find another job in no time and the same routine will soon fall into place.

 to Deal with Workaholic Husband

Workaholism can be out of need, a passion or a pretext. The damage is done to the family life and health in general. Are there any means by which women can resolve this issue of workaholic spouse.
  • Is there really any Serious Need: It is a fact that to lead a comfortable life in today’s competitive world we have to work hard. Workaholic Men will continue to earn money neglecting their health and family. Women should create ambiance in the house that brings a sense of contentment and prosperity.

  • Is he Passionate: Many men relate their identity with the work they do. To such individuals, their profession is their passion. Wives should first appreciate this spirit in their husbands before them. This will set the ground for the repair work. Then, they should try to explain the need of striking a balance between his personal and professional lives. Women should make the house a much better place to stay than the office. Good food, Nice ambiance and timely meeting of the requirements will definitely make men return home on time.

  • Is it a Pretext: Work can be a pretext to avoid partners and family. The reason primarily can be a bad marriage or an irresponsible behavior. Women should show courage and lead by example. They should work towards identifying the reasons behind the unhappy marriage. Making the partner realize the significance of family and loved ones in the present day insecure world can be helpful.

We must realize that workaholic husbands remain in a state of trance. We need to break that trance and take them away from its spell. Only then, the placed efforts will influence them and make them realize the essence of balance in life. Patience, Perseverance and Positive attitude are the key factors here for the wives.

Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at  MetroSexual LA

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