Dealing with a Stubborn Husband/Boyfriend

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Dealing with a stubborn husband or boyfriend


A stubborn person is someone who is unreasonable and often refuses to change their mind about an idea or an action. Stubborn people often refuse to give a clear explanation or reason for their resistance.

Reasons and situations that might cause your husband or boyfriend to be stubborn

  • Defending an idea: Some people believe that if their ideas are abandoned, then they are unimportant. They strongly identify themselves with their ideas. They often feel that their identity will be threatened if people aren’t convinced by what they are saying.
  • Having a reason that he can't reveal: Sometimes a stubborn person may have a strong reason for refusing to change their mind but will not tell why.

Tips on how to deal with a stubborn husband or boyfriend

  1. Examine your interests and prioritize the interests that are most important to you. For example, perhaps you are more concerned about decisions about dealing with children, money, or issues relating to your personal independence. The issues that are most important to you deserve the greatest effort.
  2. Listen carefully when you talk with him, listen closely to what he says. If what he says is not clear, keep asking questions to find out what underlies his approach. When he finishes talking you can say, "I want to make sure I understood you properly. Did you say 'x, y. & z'?" Let him know you are listening, make it clear that you expect him to listen to you. You can say, "I listened to you, now please listen to me."
  3. Try to understand his reasons and encourage him to speak honestly (in a non-confrontational manner).

A Stubborn Wife Creates an Angry Husband
I am married to a man whom I sometimes refer to as "My Diva Man." He is a person who likes things a certain way. He can be quite demanding at times. However, he is also a wonderful husband who works very hard so that I can be home with our two beautiful daughters every day.

Unfortunately, this stubborn wife sometimes forgets that and stomps her foot and refuses to give in to him and what he needs.

Let me share an example that happened recently...

We just started doing the South Beach Diet together. So, I need to make his lunch more often than I used to...now it's every day.

The other day, I could not find a container large enough to hold what I made AND small enough to fit in his lunch box without having to be at an angle. Well, I didn't think twice, I just put it on an angle.

The next day I did the same thing. This time, however, he looked in his lunch box and got annoyed. He told me that the dressing from the salad got all over the container lid last time. He asked me what he was supposed to do. I told him to scrape it off. BOOM! He got angry. He said I did not care about him and that he had to go work all night and so on. I got annoyed and basically told him he was a jerk. He went to work.

The next morning I got up to make him breakfast and some food for his second job. I made a tuna salad. What I did not do was drain the tuna as well as he would have liked it and again he noticed BEFORE he even left. He was angry and annoyed and again said that I did not care about him and that I just threw his lunch together with no thought.

I got VERY angry and told him he was self centered and unthankful for the fact that I woke up and was nice enough to make him something.

We went back and forth for a few and he left for work.

Now, of course, my Dear and Wonderful Daddy in Heaven convicted me that day while my husband was working. He made me realize that I was the one who was wrong. I needed to be a help to my husband NOT a stubborn wife. I needed to love and CARE about what I was doing for him, not just throw something together and have a "It's better than nothing" attitude.

So, I apologized to my husband when he got home from work. And, he apologized for not expressing himself nicer.

My STUBBORNNESS and "whatever" attitude was a hindrance to my husband. It made him angry and upset. Thankfully I got past myself fairly quickly.

Unfortunately, many times, us wives remain stubborn for a LONG time and it causes our men to stumble .


How to Deal with a Stubborn Husband
Do you have a stubborn husband who refuses to listen to any view which contradicts his own? Many people are stubborn in nature and it is quite tough dealing with such people as they like to enforce only their views and opinions on others. Given below are some helpful tips for effectively dealing with a stubborn husband.

It is usually seen that people, especially men, tend to assert their authority by being stubborn. They make their stubborn behavior as a mode of control and dominance. However, to have a happy and a successful marriage, you must know the ways by which you can effectively deal with such stubborn and obstinate husbands.

Many of us tend to fight to get our voice heard. However, fights and arguments only lead to sourness in a relationship. If your husband is stubborn, then he probably refuses to hear any other view which is different from his own as he believes he and his views are right.

To get your views heard, you need to be polite yet firm. Don’t hurt your husband’s pride and dignity. On the contrary, start a conversation, listen to his views with an open mind, and then politely make him understand the drawbacks of his view and then bring in your views without being overtly dominant.

You need to understand that to effectively deal with a stubborn husband, you need to ensure you don’t hurt or offend his self esteem. Conversation is the best way to deal with a stubborn husband.

There are times when there are certain important decisions in life which must be made in a sensible way and not through some predefined notions. Thus, you must be firm yet polite and try to make your husband understand your point of view through conversation.

You must try to make your point clear by properly presenting the pros and cons of your opinion. Talking it out is the best way to bring out your opinion in front of your stubborn husband.

Thus, follow the above given tips to effectively deal with a stubborn husband.



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Comment on this post

Benifur 05/06/2010 20:00


David J. Stewart is a psycho, who dose'nt know what he is talking abt. The jerk is only pasted the entire article form the bible(which I belive he may be a follower of), but he has just chosen to
read & publish the article that he like or what he finds is correct. How abt taking an opinion of the others?