Saturday 9 january 6 09 /01 /Jan 10:11
 

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Cope With Awkward Silence

 
 
   

Again, comes those awkward silences. There comes a tension build-up, and there is nothing to say. How do you cope with these?!?!

  1. Ascertain the reason for the silence. Is the silence awkward because you are with new, hard-to-read in-laws? Or because parents have just come into the room? Or because you're with a friend when s/he got into trouble while you were over? All will need different handling. But if the silence is simply due to not knowing the people around you very well, try the following steps.

  2. Break the ice. It is hard, but you need to come up with a good topic to talk about that everyone likes.

  3. Say something. "Why are we all so silent?" isn't as good as making a new topic, but it is a good way to at least get some sound in the room.

  4.  Be prepared with a topic, like:
    » a movie
    » a new book you finished reading
    » the news (not something that people don't like)
    » did Charles and Irene start online dancing lessons at http://takeabreak.over-blog.net/

  5. Abide in the silence. If the silence is due to a friend getting in trouble in front of you, or because you need to change the subject for parents who just came in, or because of new or disapproving relatives, consider this: Not all silences need to be broken by you, even if they are awkward. Don't think that it's your responsibility to get things moving. Some awkward silences are the sound of people realizing something important - may not be pleasant, but important nonetheless.

  6. Try to excuse yourself. If you are witness to your friend getting yelled at, it's best to leave and allow the family to resolve its problem. You certainly should not intervene - this is not your business - unless the parent asks you a pointed question. Your answer might help your friend out - or not - either way, answer truthfully. If you have an awkward situation with relatives, and your best efforts to win them over still result in stilted, stiff exchanges or awkward silences, simply get up and leave. Going outside to sit on the patio or simply refusing to put up with "the silent treatment" is probably your best bet.

  7. Don't stand for mistreatment if the silence is a form of hostility. Awkward silences are a passive type of hostility with some people. You should make a good effort to win these people over by trying all of the above steps. But if these are in-laws, this "silent treatment" should not be allowed to continue. Your spouse should be the one to talk to them about it, letting his family know this type of attitude is unacceptable. If your spouse presents a firm, forceful and united front ("it's both of us or neither of us"), the family will realize that unless they adjust their attitude toward you, they will not be seeing much of the two of you. In any case, life is too short to subject yourself to situations where people cannot be persuaded to relax and be tolerant, accepting, and compassionate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://tinyurl.com/yzm24s9What Can I Do to Convince My Spouse to Make Up With Me?
So you want to make up with your spouse, but you are having a hard time convincing other person to give you another chance. This is very common and it happens in a lot of relationships. There is often very specific reasons why a relationship is struggling and why there is constant conflict.

You will need to sit down and think about these things if you are serious about making up with your spouse. But to get you started along the way I'm going to give you two important things you need to do before you can help to successfully makeup, if you follow this simple advice making up and breaking up will not become constant in your relationship.

You need to talk to the other person about not involving other people in your conflict issues.

Sometimes in a relationship people have a bad habit of talking to people outside of the relationship about their problems. This can make the other person feel very uncomfortable and awkward. Your spouse should feel like you can talk to them about anything, if they feel you need to go outside of the relationship they may feel like you cannot talk to them. A person should always feel comfortable that fact their spouse is able to communicate with them about anything and everything.

You need to try and work on any serious flaws you may have which may be causing a rift in your relationship

Do not take this as someone trying to change you or making you be someone you're not. Sometimes you will have certain flaws which are very hard for the other person to deal with. If you're flaws are very small and un-intrusive it may not be that big of a deal. But it is important that you make a decision to correct these relationship wrecking flaws, and not be under the influence of someone else forcing you to check them.

It must be your choice to change the flaws you have which may be driving the other person away. Once you have made this choice, and you talk to your spouse about it, making up with them will be much easier to do. Believe me; following the simple advice can go a long way in helping a relationship to stay afloat.

 

 

 



Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at  MetroSexual LA

http://tinyurl.com/yaouvbl

 
 
By CMe
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