Anxiety can be unbearable and debilitating. Understand how to face severe anxiety, and learn valuable coping skills.
When anxiety consumes a persons life, even time spent in a quiet room can be a fight for mental survival. Anxiety can be a crippling roller coaster of fear, dread and emotional turmoil. When someone understands how to control anxiety, they are better equipped to cope with the day-to-day issues that control their mental state.
What is Basic Anxiety?
The first thing an individual needs to know is that “basic anxiety” is natural and healthy. The basic “fight or flight” response is a protective measure from severe stress. The body provides an adrenaline boost in times of crisis that is beneficial to a persons mental outlook.
From elementary school to adulthood, stress is an everyday occurrence. However, with mental stability and focus, general stress can be used as fuel or motivation to achieve bigger and better things in life.
Stress may encourage a person to break out of their comfort zone and face situations that do not cater to their personal choices. These stressors may actually be used as platforms to build character and mental toughness as an individual navigates the road of life. However, once anxiety begins to control a persons life and adversely affect their mental state, numerous mental and physical issues may develop.
Signs of an Anxiety Disorder
When anxiety reaches a crisis state, the mind and body will begin a downward spiral. Changes in diet, sleeping pattern, and concentration are all signs of uncontrolled anxiety. Massive mood swings and overall lack of happiness are also outwards signs of a serious problem.
Conquering Sexual Anxiety
While it’s usually men that get the articles on sexual anxiety, women are just as susceptible. Maybe you’ve been with your partner for a long time and have ‘gotten used’ to them, but you wanted to try swinging as a way to spice things up.
And now, you’re thinking that you’re more ‘stale’ than spice.
Taking Stock Of Your Skills
One of the best ways to get out of thinking that you’re not any good in bed is to talk to your partner. Ask them what they love about you and your skills before and during sex.
You may be surprised to hear the answers. Much of the ‘good stuff’ that we do is natural and we wouldn’t even realize that we’re doing it.
So you can count on your instincts to get you through any rough patches.
Feeling Your Way Through
Another great way to keep you confident as you’re trying to please someone new is to ask beforehand. That way, you already have an arsenal of ways to give them pleasure.
If you haven’t done that, you can always ask while you’re in the moment. Ask them if this or that feels good. Where do they like to be touched? Is there anything that they don’t like?
By having them guide you, you can stop worrying that you’re doing everything wrong.
And people want to lead you in the right direction.
Building Up Confidence
Most of the time, our sexual skills come from trying something that you’ve never tried before. My partner once told me that he always makes things up as we’re in the act, but because he’s so confident (or at least acts like it), I thought that he was much more experienced.
It’s amazing what jumping right in will do.
Do Your Homework
Take the time to read up on sex and ways to pleasure someone. Read magazines, websites, and articles. Find books and charts to the G-spot and other wonders of the human body.
Learn as much as you can about the body and how you can please it.
Watch erotic movies and see what they do. If anything, you can always try to copy something. The more things you know, the better off you will be.
And I don’t mean faking the orgasm; I mean fake your skills. Pretend that you know more than you do and eventually you will. Act as though you are an adult video champion and you know every trick in the book to make someone feel good.
You would be surprised how many times you are right.
By just listening to their breathing quicken, you can find a discreet little spot that needs lots of ‘attention’ or realize when their breathing slows that you’ve not where you need to be. Test out the waters a little more each time, and soon your anxiety will just be a memory. Realize that everyone wants to feel good, so they’ll make sure that you’re doing everything you can to ensure that.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA