Sometimes making a commitment to ANYTHING can be tough. Relationships can be complicated and making that commitment may seem overwhelming and scary. The difficulty level on committing to a serious relationship depends on you. If you want to commit to a serious relationship, but are not sure how, read this.
- Decide what you want. This is the first step. Do you even WANT to be in a serious relationship with this person? Do you like this person and enjoy the time spent together? You really need to accomplish this step and answer these questions first.
- Communicate with your partner. Find out what your partner feels. Be sure that he or she is also willing to commit to a serious relationship. It is possible that person has the same fears. Or, that person may calm your fears and make you feel more secure about making the commitment. Just talk!
- Figure out your fears. It could be fear of loss of freedom or space or time. It could be fear of being with one person for the rest of your life. This is where the communication takes place. (And rational thought.)
- Let go of the past. All of us have been hurt and all of us are afraid to make the same mistakes. But, hanging on to the past only prevents future happiness. Remember: You can not change the past, only the future.
- Stop the pessimism. It is easy to come up with a million reasons a serious relationship won't work. He's too sloppy, she doesn't dress nice enough, etc., etc. Think of the good qualities in that person and why you started dating in the first place.
- Delete profiles from ALL DATING SITES. Accept you are in a serious relationship and do not allow others to think otherwise. You do not want to be tempted to date when that "perfect person" sends you a love e-mail. Remember you have something good and... see next step.
- Get over the "grass is greener" syndrome. Many people have a fear of commitment because of what they BELIEVE they will be missing if they make the serious commitment. Appreciate what you have. Remember: The grass is NOT always greener.
- Put effort into the relationship. This is the part that gets most people. They don't want to work at the relationship, they don't want to compromise. That seems to be TOO MUCH WORK. Well, if you want love in your life, you are going to have to work at it - FACE IT!
- Serious CommitmentTake a leap of faith. This is the final step. Once all the above steps are accomplished, you are ready to commit to a serious relationship. Have fun!!
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA