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| || || | Many of us have great marriages and would not change a thing except the fact that our other half seems to be clueless with certain things in life. Everything from housework to bill paying and budgeting it's always stressful when you can't figure out why they can't just see the same thing you do. It's time to stop stressing over the way you figure they should be and just accept the fact they are clueless. But there are ways to get around the situation and solve the problem with the least headaches for both partners.
Starting with the good old list. You may feel you shouldn't have to leave a list, but get over it. It is an answer to a problem. So sit down with your other half and find the time to go over what bothers you and listen to what bothers them about you. You aren't perfect either.
- If housework is the first problem then create a list. Make it large enough to see and place it where your spouse will not miss it. Even if you tape it to the TV screen. List just a few items you would like done before a certain time. Dishes washed very well by 4pm. Counters washed and dried after dishes are done by 4:05pm. Take out trash before 5pm.
Always start small with a list and always say thank you and what a great job they did when it's done on time and correctly. Be adjustable, because it will take practice.
- Some spouses are clueless when it comes to how much money is coming into the household and how much is needed to run it. Find some time together to teach your other half how to take care of bills, how much is needed and how much there is to run the home. If they are more aware of what it takes they may be more likely to watch the purchases. Make a list of what comes in and what goes out and where. If there is anything left on the list such as money you both have to figure out why you never have any.
Set a budget for certain things during each pay period and stick to it. This applies to both people! Don't set a lower budget for your spouse and a higher one for you. It's not fair and will eventually cause a fight. If the other wants extra for something special you need to discuss where the money will come from in the budget or find a way to earn the extra income.
- Share a hobby you can do together. Watch the cost of everything that is involved with the hobby. Notice what each person wants out of the hobby. Don't be greedy and demand everything you want by telling yourself the other wants the same thing. Maybe they don't.
- If you want romance and your other half is clueless stop feeling hurt or slighted. Tell them you would like a little more romance and give them a list of what would help. More compliments, flowers from the yard, an extra hug during the day, candy once a week, holding hands while in bed, having dinner fixed for you without fuss and griping. Many times men do not know what is romantic so you have to help them along and women are all different in what they view as romantic for themselves. Sometimes it's no more than doing the dishes for you once a week.
- The biggest clueless for both people are feelings. Wondering if the other cares how you feel about something. Do they love you? Did she want something from me when she was crying and why was she crying? Why did she throw the dog at me? Why is he leaving to be with his friends? You have to talk to each other about these situation and you have to listen. Don't get mad for reasons the other can't figure out. Discuss and find a solution to suit both of you.
Being involved or living with a clueless person can be very hard, but most of the time you just consider it an adventure in learning and have fun. Good luck to all the clueless and clueless lovers everywhere!
Sure Shot Signs of a Cheating Spouse - Don't Be Clueless and Clue in On the Signs of a Cheater!
A lot of the times you can actually catch cheating before it even occurs. Now, you may be thinking, how can you catch cheating, if it's never even happened, but it's simple: disloyal people always give sings that they are going to cheat or are cheating! But, the sooner you catch it, the more at ease you will feel, so that you won't be played for a fool. Here is how you can tell if your spouse is going to cheat on you or is already cheating ...
- They stop having sex with you - Obviously a cheater is getting this from another source, so if your sex life has drastically decreased in a short period of time, then this is the sign!
- He/she argues with you over everything - Whether its a simple question, or a small thing, it seems he/she argues daily now! However, don't take this as something small, since a lot of people will create fights just to get out of the house and go cheat, whereas others will create arguments to make you break off the marriage, so they can be with someone else.
- He/she spends more time "working late", but with no pay increase - No one loves work that much to continuously work late without getting pay benefits from it.
- They develop new interests and hobbies that are unusual to them - Cheaters are looking for thrills in the first place, so they will end up taking on new habits of their new partner's) for fun.
- Grows distant and cold towards you - You will feel like they are in their own little world.
- Stops expecting anything from you, and no longer asks for your advice or opinion - Why would he/she need it from you, when they have someone else to get it from?
- Does not care about your relationship, family, or any important dates anymore - If you bring up a discussion about important things for your family or relationship, he/she will seem really disinterested. They will also forget important dates, which they used to remember.
- Acts very critical and almost hostile towards you - They will criticize you, because they are comparing you to other people now, preferably the person they are cheating on you with.
- Spends a lot of time on the computer or phone when you are sleeping or even when they think you are not watching - Watch especially for deleted computer history, and if he/she has a cell phone, text messages and numbers which were dialed out/called will be missing.
- Spends more money than usual - He/she will buy new clothing, perfumes/colognes etc but not for you and also not to wear around you, and you will find their spending habits are increased drastically.
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