Attitudes That Attract Your Spouse's Attention 

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Attitudes That Attract Your Spouse's Attention 

 
 
   

Do You Realize What's Truly Involved With Love and Relationships? 
Most young people, who are starting out in a relationship, don't realize the full complexity of it. The people dating are getting younger and so far parents haven't done anything to change that. We aren't taught at school how a successful relationship works or how love and relationships affect everything around us. But how can we forget about the 50% of marriages that still end in divorce? At least the good news is that there are answers available that do work to prolong our personal relationships. Let's start to make people more aware of the full complexities of relationships and how we should keep continuing to find more information on improving them and how to make them work successfully while creating a better understanding of ourselves and the other person involved.

The only thing we can instantly recognize to change is ourselves. So even before you embark on another relationship or want to improve love in your current relationship, please seek as much information as you can find or read a book that has been recommended on relationships that explains more about the opposite sex. Don't limit it to just one source of information though, keep your mind open to all sorts and use what is most beneficial to your situation. There is also a lot of free information around if you look hard enough. This includes newsletters you can sign up to on websites that sell ebooks/products, articles, blogs, books, forums and even your local library.

The first thing we need to work on though is our own feelings, fears, insecurities and issues. We need to make a list of what we like, what we need to accept and what we can work on about ourselves before we go analyzing a prospect for a new relationship. Find out what the opposite sex genuinely look for in a long term relationship and remember that only 'you' can make yourself happy, so don't rely on finding a partner just to make you happy. Anything you think you need to work on, write it down and make a conscious decision to improve on it. What's equally important is finding something that we really love to do and do it. If you don't know what that is, make an effort to try and find out. Think of the things you enjoy or things that you have always wanted to do. Our number one mission in life should be our happiness and finding something you love to do is quite hard for some people to find. Once you find love in something outside a relationship, it will be so much easier to create that love in your relationship.

So you can start by finding something that you really love to do. This can include your job, a sport or a hobby. Majority of people stay in a job they hate because they think that they can't get anything better. Life won't seem worth living if we're not happy doing a job that takes up approximately 45 years of your life, so make sure its something that you really enjoy. When we are happier at work, we are also happier when we're at home and in our relationships.

So if you want to know how love and relationships work for future or current situations, the easiest way is to give more love. The more love you give, the more will come back to you. Love can also be defined in many different feelings including happiness, excitement and gratitude. By becoming aware of how we act and think, we can change it to make sure it's more positive, therefore attracting more positively and love towards us. But when we aren't happy with ourselves, then we tend to put pressure on our partner to make us happy. No one in the world can make you happy, but YOU. I know I mentioned that before, but it's so important to realize as I used to think I needed a knight in shining armor to come and make me happy.  Someone may do something for you that you like, but it's you who chooses to feel the feeling of happiness. We can feel that feeling whenever we like, we don't need the approval of someone else to be happy. So loving yourself will attract more love to you, including your relationship with your partner.

Discuss Finances With Your Spouse
There are two reasons why discussing finances with your spouse is a good thing. First, your spouse is a partner with you and will be affected by the decisions that are made. You'll also feel that much better knowing that decisions come from a meeting of the minds, especially if they are made to solve financial hardship. Read on to learn how to discuss finances with your spouse.

  1. Pay all household expenses from a joint checking account. Each of you should contribute to this account in proportion to your respective income. If you are retired, slightly more than the amount budgeted for household expenses should be deposited monthly into this account. Then check those expenses periodically to see if any of them can be reduced. This account should be in addition to your individual 
    accounts.

  2. Review both your income and expenses quarterly and make adjustments to your budget, if warranted. Be sure to include vacations, emergency medical care, clothing and other items that are often forgotten. Any well-run business will end up with a profit at year's end, and families should do the same.

  3. Involve your spouse when decisions must be made with your savings and investments. The theory that two heads are better than one applies well to this situation. It is far better to share this important responsibility, especially when a bad decision is made.

  4. As you age, the importance of planning becomes all that more critical and must involve both spouses. What will happen if you are incapacitated? Should a living trust be considered? Should steps be taken to protect your estates because of their size? Can your children handle what they will receive upon your death, or should someone be in place to advise them? These are some of the questions that you should discuss with your spouse.

Involve Your Spouse In The Family Finances
Keeping your spouse involved in the management of finances can be a tough thing to do. In most situations, there is a nerd (as Dave Ramsey often puts it) in the family who likes doing the numbers stuff. The nerd pays the bills, manages the spending or cash flow, looks for great deals and works on cool spreadsheets.

Even though the nerd is doing all of these things, there is still another money manager in the family. It’s the nerd’s spouse. Now the spouse might not be as involved in day to day management. In many cases the spouse doesn’t have knowledge of how much money is in the bank account. Perhaps the spouse just knows how much he or she can spend on entertainment or clothes for the month and maybe a few other budget categories.

But, this is a dangerous approach to family finances. What if something happened to the family CFO? Would the spouse know how to step in and manage everything? And we are all considered financial stewards in God’s eyes. So, both spouses are responsible for managing resources that have been entrusted to their care by God. If one spouse isn’t involved, how can he or she be managing God’s resources wisely?

The answer lies in a few ideas to get the cool person, not the nerd or family CFO, involved in the family finances. The spouse doesn’t have to necessarily be involved in the day to day finances at the level of detail as the nerd, but should have knowledge of the resources and how they’re being used. So, if you are the nerd, consider these tips to get your spouse more involved in the management of family finances. He or she will appreciate it if done for the solid reasons I just mentioned.

  1. Budget together every month
    One of the most important things spouses can do together is budget their money together each month. Even though you have fixed spending in place, there are still planning decisions to be made each month for discretionary spending.

  2. Provide a weekly status report
    While the monthly meeting is important, so is a weekly meeting about money. All this requires is a review of spending for the major budget categories and a discussion around any new significant expenses required for the month. I like to think of it as a status meeting. If you want to take it to the next step, you can write down the balances of the major budget categories for your spouse so he or she knows the overall state of the spending plan.

  3. Let your spouse tithe
    One spouse may often pay the bills, tithe online, or even write out a check for tithing. Let the other spouse do this important task. Then, either give together online or take your check to church. I can’t stress enough the important of both spouses being involved in prayerful giving each month.

  4. Let your spouse pay some of the bills
    So along the same lines as above, perhaps your spouse can pay some of the monthly bills. Don’t overload the person who doesn’t normally do this work for the family, but giving them a few key bills to manage is a great way to involve the person and for them to fulfill being a good financial steward.

  5. Let your spouse budget or manage areas within the budget such as grocery spending
    Along with paying bills, this is another great way. Let your spouse perform the management of an entire budget area. For example, my wife is in charge of clothing for the children, she often buys the gifts for birthday parties and for other miscellaneous needs. She is responsible for knowing how much money has been allocated to those areas and for managing within those sub budgets or categories.

  6. Provide visibility to your personal finance software
    Turn over a copy of the keys to full viewing and access to the personal finance software. The spouse should be able to log into the account, find the budget and review spending against the budget categories.   Looking a checking account balance is not nearly as helpful or as important as being able to know the budget balance by category.

  7. Seek your spouse’s input
    Finally, a great way to involve your spouse is to ask them questions and seek their input about financial decisions. You’re in dangerous territory if you’re managing the money on an island by yourself without financial counsel or advice from your spouse. If you’re a male, don’t make this mistake. Women have a great sense of intuition and often gifted with discernment. These are important qualities and characteristics you need on your family money management team.

What ideas do you have to involve your spouse in the management of family finances?

 

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Feel Connected to Your Spouse
We've all been through times in our lives when it was so busy we would rarely have time to ourselves let alone time to contact our family and friends. With every day life moving as quickly as it is, there just seems to be no time to do everything in one day and get a decent amount of sleep so you can do it all over again the next day. It's no wonder why it's so hard these days for a married couple to share a strong relationship. If you feel your marriage is lacking, check out the following advice to improve or even save 
your marriage!

  1. Call them. Yes, this sounds simple and it is! Whether you initiate the phone call or are returning one, it is all based on keeping an open line of communication. Nothing says "I don't care," more than not calling or not calling back. And if you married the person, it's obvious you care about them! So show them! It doesn't have to be a long conversation; not everyone has the time for that anymore. You can just call to say hi and that you love and miss them. If you're returning a call and don't have a lot of time to devote to your spouse that second, let them know that you were just returning their call and arrange a later and better time to really catch up. 

  2. E-mail them. This flows along with the idea of an open line of communication, only to a further extent. If it's hard for the two of you to talk on the phone, your next solution would be e-mail. You can write out anything to any length and send it to your spouse for him or her to read when they can. However, if you're looking for an immediate response, maybe you should develop your patience because chances are, you probably won't receive that. On the other hand, if you just want to send say, pictures of the family, pets, etc. or just don't need to instantly receive anything back from them, then the e-mail system will work out great. Another thoughtful thing to do is send your marriage partner articles or websites that concern his or her hobbies or interests. It shows that you still care and think about them and want them to be happy even when the two of you are apart.

  3. Pay attention. When catching up on the phone or in e-mails, pay attention and really listen to what is being said. You'd be surprised at what can be uncovered! Now I'm not saying analyze everything that comes out of either of your mouths but if something jumps out at you or you keep hearing the same thing over and over again, you should probably consider that to be something important enough to explore further. For example, if you keep hearing about visits to say, Starbucks, and there's no indication that your spouse is tired of it, maybe you should make arrangements to meet at one. The next time he or she is there without you, that special visit you two shared will be on his or her mind and therefore mentally connecting the two of you when you can't be in the physical company of one another.

  4. Cherish the time you talk to them. A phone conversation or e-mail may be occasional in your marriage so don't be afraid to say what's on your mind. Yes, there is a time and place for everything and judging that is a whole other subject but if you feel a specific time is appropriate for what you have to say, then say it! You married your fiance to share a life together and bond on many levels so why hide your true feelings? The key here is confidence. If you feel that strongly about something, your enthusiasm will show through and at least that much will be respected. All I'm saying is don't hold back too much because you never know when you'll get another chance to speak your mind or show your appreciation.

  5. Cherish the time you spend together. This may happen even less if the two of you are on opposing schedules so make it high quality and top priority when the plans do come up. You don't necessarily have to go out though. Maybe you could spend a quiet night at home with no cell phones and minimal connection to the outside world. Okay, maybe that seems like a lot to ask but think of it this way, the more distractions, the less continuous the connection will be between the two of you, which will lessen the quality of your time together. If you do want to go out, maybe you could go to a favorite restaurant or see a movie starring one of your commonly admired actors. The more special the activities are that you two share as a couple, the easier it will be to do your own individual tasks. Even if you're dog-tired be thankful you have someone to share a love with and to spend time with whatever time of the day or night it is.

These are just a few simple tips that are fairly easy to utilize and benefit from. If you want to re-ignite the spark between you and your marriage partner, take this invaluable marriage advice. There is so much to gain from the help offered here and it only requires a small amount of effort to put the suggestions to use. I'm giving you this match; now it's your job to strike it, see the flames it will produce, and save your marriage!

Attitudes That Attract Your Spouse's Attention 
You may have been going through a lot of hassles with your marriage and at a point felt like quitting. Right? Have you ever asked yourself if you truly want to quit? Don't you think your problems can be sorted out and you have your marriage and your love back again?

Your best bet to getting your marriage going is to follow these three simple sure fire steps to igniting the fire that your marriage needs.

  1. Resolve To Succeed
    One of the first thing to do when you make up your mind to marry and when you are already in marriage and you want to live a happy life with your spouse and family, is to establish the goal for which you came together. That goal should continually remain a priority in your mind. And the goal should always be to work at your marriage to be a success in terms of continuous exhibition of love, joy and happiness.

    Though no marriage is immune to problems, the fact that you have resolved to push the problem to the background and focus on working at your happiness with your family will propel you to overcoming. In other words you must be totally committed to your marriage. Commitment to the relationship is important if it is to improve. If the couple does not want the relationship to improve, it won't.

  2. Be Supportive Of Your Spouse
    Believe it or not I want you to know that there is nothing as good as when your partner knows that he/she has the support and confidence of his/her spouse in what he is doing or engaged in. Learn to involve your spouse in your plans. By so doing you carry him/her along and there will be no room for suspicions of any kind. This helps in no small way to prevent trouble right from before it begins to take root and of course, when any negative information filters in, you know how to handle it immediately because you already know the genesis of your spouses movement or actions/in-actions. This attitude breeds love, trust and confidence.

  3. Expect Challenges
    No marriage, no matter how good it looks, no matter how wonderful the couples might be together, is immune to challenges. So expect challenges in your relationship with your spouse in whatever form or shape it comes.  Challenges are meant to toughen you and serve as experiences to make you progress in the school of marriage. You are expected to rise up to challenges when they come calling. Such could be in the form of finance, spiritual, emotional, infertility, in-laws, loss of job, death of a close relation, infidelity, etc.

It is how you react to these issues that make you overcome and worthy to be considered a success. Do not allow the challenges to overwhelm you.

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Comment on this post

AS 04/09/2010 22:25


Some really great points here. I especially agree with your point about owning and taking responsibility for your own happiness. As someone who works in the dating industry, I often come across
single people who are not as happy as they could be, or living their life to the full - as they do not have a partner. Yet, it's when one is happy and enjoying their life & new experiences they
are better placed to attract a mate.