Many young girls, and even grown women, become obsessed with the fancy wedding, the dress and the perfect honeymoon. However, the wedding is just the start of a what will be a daily process of making your marriage work. Before you start picking out your centerpieces, you need to take some time to ensure that you are ready for marriage. Here are a few questions you need to ask yourself before you decide to get married.
Are you in a stable financial position? There are no set guidelines for what you should have accomplished financially before you get married. However, many couples find that one of the key arguments after they get married is finances. If you are in a lot of debt, it might be wise to clear some of that up so that you can go into your marriage with a better financial standing. It is also crucial that you and your partner have several conversations regarding money. You should decide whether you will want to use a joint account or maintain separate personal accounts. You should be completely honest about your debt situation. While you might be embarrassed by your large credit card bill, it is much better to own up to it now, rather than when you are trying to be a vehicle or home.
Do you know who you are and what are your expectations of your partner? Have you taken some time to feel comfortable with yourself on your own? Have you accomplished goals that you set out to do? Do you feel ready to share your life with someone else? It is important that you and your partner discuss your expectations of the marriage. Will one of you stay at home with the children? Will you have children at all? Where do you plan to live once you are married? These are all things that need to be settled before you sign the marriage license.
Finally, do you feel comfortable sharing the rest of your life with your partner? If you have doubts, it might be wise to take some time to work through them. Marriage should be a joyous occasion, not just on the day of your wedding but for always. With a little bit of discussion, you and your partner should be able to avoid problems down the road and little happily ever after.
Here are some steps to help you prepare for marriage…
- Detox yourself of any old relationship. Still stuck on an old girlfriend/boyfriend? How do you know that you are over them? Do you get some warm feelings about that person when you get around them? Well you are not over that person. Don’t try to marry until you are completely healed of past relationships. You don’t want that ghost of girlfriend/boyfriend past to hunt your new marriage
- Get out of debt. When you marry, her debt becomes your debt either good or bad. Why make your new spouse pay for stuff that you bought for an old boyfriend years ago that you have not paid off? She/he doesn’t benefit from old debt of yours but guess who has to pay off the debt? Your new spouse.
- Learn how to give of yourself. Many of us get married with a single mindset but when married, you have to think of your spouse best interests. Divorce is common because no one wants to take the time to say to their spouse “what makes YOU happy?” Want to know what helps makes a marriage works? When you submit to what your spouse need and you do those things for them. In order for this to work both parties must be willing. When we both focus on the other person, then we both win because both of us are happy.
Advice for Women to Know If you Guy is ready for marriage.
Though we are not ready to admit most guys ready for marriage eventually. It takes a long time to recognize that they are ready for marriage. Sharing our whole life with one woman, this concept crosses their mind. Men and marriage- which thing will get them together. They have their own biological clocks. They fall in love everyday. You can not convincing them by sweet talking with them or giving them pressure. Best way for you is that looking for someone who need not convincing. When you will ready to marry with someone you must know his personal history.
Some clue to to know : Is he ready for marriage?
If a man is ready for marriage then he will act so, believe so, these signs are some what helpful for knowing that men are ready for marriage. When he will start using ''we" with the talking, when he will talk about your future more and more, when he will proposes you exactly in way you want. It is the helpful sign for knowing that men are ready for the marriage. When he will ready to do anything for you means he is ready for marriage. You must talk with him. Discuss all the which are important for you and him.What are your plan, dream, and goal, how they together fit with plan dream and goal. You must have an idea about family play part in your life. Just talk and listen with him, you will get clue whether he is ready for marriage or not. You must spend some time with him. It will help you to know his nature.
Your view toward the marriage must be positive. Many time it happens that they shows that they are ready for marriage but factually it is not correct. If you love someone, it doesn't take years to decide whether you want or intend on marrying this person. A good relationship built's on compromises so be ready to compromise with your partner. There must have a good feeling with each other. Make him appreciate you. The relationship must need security and comfort and it will get by the mutual understanding from the both side.
How to Get a Guy Who Is Ready For Marriage
Almost every one of us who dates a guy would like the relationship to end up in a marriage. We often daydream about wonderful wedding ceremonies and later to leave with husbands who shower us with plenty of love.
Given the fact that marriage is a life-long commitment, you will take deliberate measures to ensure that you date suitable guys when you begin to think of tying the knot. It is also important for you to get a man who will be prepared to walk down the aisle with you. You should therefore be aware of how to pinpoint the appropriate man.
You will be able to determine a guy who is serious about marriage from his actions and words. You need to know how to read and interpret the signs. Here are some of the things that will help you to get a guy who is serious about marriage.
A guy who is seriously contemplating marriage will make plans for the future. Such things as owning a home or having a good job are indicators of a serious guy. You should also take into consideration the way the guy makes his expenses. For instance, you should be wary of a guy who enjoys singles clubs, exotic vacations, or sports cars, as these are clear indications that he still cherishes his 'freedom'.
A guy who is seriously considering you for marriage will try to include you in some of his family events. However, a man who hardly even talks about his family most likely has no intentions of settling down with you. A guy is not likely to invite you to have dinner with his family if he is not serious about you. Why should he make his mother start giving him questions about his plans with you? Hence when a man takes this step, this is a very good signal that he is thinking of marrying you.
Another important signal is when a guy begins to talk about kids once in a while during your conversations. While some guys will talk about children in general to see your reaction, others will ask you straight to the point whether and when you would like to have kids. When a guy talks about kids, he is probably considering you as a likely mother to his own.
You will also be able to determine the seriousness of a guy about marriage by considering the way he shops for you. Does he take you to jewelry stores so that you can try a variety of rings? Although men often like to keep it a secret when they are going to propose, they will take measures to ensure that you get an engagement ring that suits you best.
When you are thinking about marriage, it is important for you to look for a guy who is also serious about settling down. These simple tips will help you determine what goes on in a guy's mind so that you won't waste your precious time. Read the signs and act accordingly.
Are You Ready for Marriage? A Test
Despite myths of "happily-ever-after" or "love conquers all," problems in the marital relationship may surface within a short time after the wedding
The success or failure of a marriage relationship may hinge on how well the couple deals with issues such as financial assets, communication, conflict, parenting, in-laws, leisure time, sexuality, family of origin, spirituality, expectations, and chores. Most couples don't talk about these issues before they get married, and are surprised one or two years down the road when conflict seems more prevalent than romance.
While a family law attorney can help you create a premarital agreement to avoid conflict about financial issues, it is helpful for couples to ask themselves many other questions. Take some time to review this lengthy list with your future spouse. You may be surprised how open communication about these subjects will improve your relationship.
- Why are you getting married?
Many couples get married due to pregnancy, loneliness, or other reasons. If you are clear about your motivation, it is less likely you will have unrealistic expectations.
- What are your expectations regarding finances?
- Do you intend to share everything 50/50?
- Does one partner earn significantly more than the other or have substantially greater assets?
It's important to know each other's expectations about finances. Talking through and memorializing how you expect to divide your assets in the unfortunate event of divorce reduces the likelihood of conflict even if you don't end up separating. Remember, each state views marital and separate property differently. All states view property acquired before the marriage, property received as a gift, and property inherited during the marriage as separate property -- it is not shared by the marriage. States are divided about how to treat marital property -- the property that is acquired or earned during the marriage. Community property states divide marital property equally, while the other states use equitable distribution and divide the property "fairly," which could be 50/50 or some other proportion.
- Do you intend on living within a budget? Who will manage the budget?
- Who will pay bills? Which bills?
- Will you have a joint checking account?
- Will major assets be held jointly?
- What are your long-term financial goals? How will you achieve them?
- How will you divide the household chores?
- How will you make decisions if you disagree?
- What if one partner does not fulfill their end of an agreement?
- Are you willing to work through conflict? Have you been successful in the past?
Children & Parenting
- Do you want to have children? How many?
- If necessary, will you adopt? Will you adopt a foreign-born child?
- How will you raise your children? Will one parent stay home? Which parent?
- Will your children attend public or private school? If the marriage is not successful, who will pay child support and who will pay college expenses?
- Does religion play an important part in your life?
- Do you think faith and spirituality are important in a marriage?
- Are you comfortable discussing your sexual likes and dislikes?
- Do you mind if your spouse spends a lot of time alone or pursuing leisure activities without you?
- How will you make sure you have quality time together as a couple?
Pursuing this type of discussion will reveal mismatched expectations, and can help you resolve areas of discrepancy before they become divisive. If you encounter issues that require assistance from an attorney, such as financial issues, property titles, adoption or child support questions, be sure to consult with an attorney who is experienced with the relevant laws in your state.