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| || || | How to be appreciative of your spouse?
Appreciation is something most of us crave. Encouraging expressions, appreciative gestures and warm acknowledgements form the basis of a healthy relationship between spouses. Be generous in acknowledging the merits of your spouse for achieving closeness.
A woman who accomplishes something in her business or career wants appreciation from her partner. When she has worked all day long and comes home tired, it is neglectful for a spouse to take the work for granted. Say that you are proud of your spouse. If the dinner is good, you should compliment your husband on his culinary skill; otherwise it will dampen his spirits and affect his efficiency. Resentment will build up causing a rift in the relationship
Do not develop the habit of seeing the things that are wrong. Condition your attention to the things that are right, it will do your spouse a world of good. Great issues develop from small beginnings. A lack of appreciation which reveals itself in commonplace things may grow until it becomes a very great divisive factor.
In a relationship, blaming does not work. Understanding, trust, compassion, acceptance and support are the solutions. Give a pat every now and then to show your appreciation of your spouse's contribution to the family. A pat on the back from your spouse is like oil that keeps the wheels of the family well-greased.
To become motivated, your spouse needs to feel appreciated, trusted and accepted. Instead of blaming your spouse for giving less, you can accept and forgive your partner's imperfections. Encourage your partner to give more by appreciating what is given and continuing to ask for support. Only when you assertively ask for what you need and encourage the other person to do the same, can you ever feel completely fulfilled in a relationship.
When a spouse's reactions reveal a positive belief in her partner's attitudes and intentions, the primary love need is fulfilled. Automatically, your spouse will be more caring and attentive to your feelings and needs, and motivated to respect you more. You need to be particularly attentive to appreciate the little things that your spouse does for you.
With a smile and thanks, you can let her know that she has done well. She needs this to continue giving. Learn to express tender feelings. As your tender side emerges, closeness with your spouse increases. Armed with this technique for motivating and bonding, you will make your marital relationship stronger. Why not get started being more appreciative of your spouse today?
My Husband Doesn't Show Affection - Should You Accept the Way He is Or Try to Change Him?
'My husband doesn't show affection' could be one of the common reasons why wives all over world feel that their marriage is not working; or that the husband is possibly thinking of ending the relationship. One of the primary causes of dissatisfaction in a marriage, such situations could be a fall out of various factors affecting the man.
Be that as it may, you may not have the patience or deeper understanding of issues bothering your husband. All you notice is his outward behavior, which is lukewarm, indifferent and sometimes even on the verge of being rude. 'My husband doesn't show affection' - you cry out and immediately start to draw various conclusions which may not have any logical basis.
Let us study some of the common factors which make husbands appear to be indifferent or reluctant to display affection.
- You know your husband best. If he was always shy or reticent by nature, then thoughts like 'my husband doesn't show affection' should not bother you too much. You should learn to accept the way he is - after all, not all men are experts in overt display of their emotions.
- However, if you are used to a husband who has always given you topmost priority in his life and has never hesitated to show his love and respect for you but suddenly find him aloof and distant - you have reasons to probe deeper as to why he is behaving the way he is.
- 'My husband doesn't show affection' - reasons for this could be many. Check whether there are other pressing issues bothering him including his job, career, work environment, work timings, finances, recession, and health and so on.
- A lot of men like to remain quiet or sulk when facing a personal crisis. But if you treat him lovingly and help him to open up to you, he should confide in you.
You have to remember though that if your husband is introvert by nature and normally does not believe in showing affection just to prove that he loves you - you might be disappointed if you try to change his natural style. Your concern about 'my husband doesn't show affection' would not make a great difference to him and it is rather impossible to change a person's intrinsic nature. If you try too hard, you would simply start to irritate him.
On the contrary, happiness lies in your accepting the way he is. Overt display of affection may not always be the yardstick to measure the amount of love he feels for you. Look at husbands who cheat behind their wives' back, even when they appear to be 'affectionate'.
Feeling Neglected by Your Husband? How to Make Him Appreciate You More
Have you been feeling neglected by your husband? This is a common problem that many married women face once the honeymoon phase is over. You start to feel the emotional connection between the two of you disappearing and before you know it, you’re feeling taken for granted. This can lead to all sorts of complicated feelings including resentment and anger towards the man you married. If you’ve been feeling that your husband just doesn’t appreciate you the way he once did, there’s help to change it. You can actually renew his interest in you and get him more in love with you than he has ever been before.
Once you start feeling neglected by your husband your initial reaction may be to explain to him what you’re feeling. We all know the importance of direct and honest communication in a marriage. However, this is one area that you need to be careful with. Simply approaching your husband and telling him that you’re feeling taken advantage of will likely put him on the defensive. He’ll scramble for excuses for his behavior and it will lead to an argument. This won’t be beneficial to either of you. A much better way to get him to stop neglecting you is to show him you’ll no longer accept it by your actions.
When we feel neglected we often go out of our way to do even more for our husbands. We think that if we cater to his needs, he’ll learn from our actions and do the same. This isn’t going to work. What you need to do is pull back from him a bit. Don’t be overt about this. You don’t need to make a big announcement about how you’re going to focus more on yourself than him. Instead, you need to just put yourself first. Do the things that you’ve pushed aside in favor of being a doting mother and wife. This isn’t to say that you should neglect your children, but you need to remember that a happier mom translates to happier children. If you stopped pursuing your career because you got married and had children, consider a part time job again. Volunteering is another great way to do some good at the same time you renew your own purpose. Your husband will soon realize that you’re not simply his wife anymore. Once a man feels his wife is pulling away from him, he’ll automatically go into better husband mode. He’ll work harder at making sure you know just how much he loves you. Whenever a man starts to worry that his wife may be slipping away, he’ll step up to the plate again and put more effort into the relationship.
How to Get Your Husband to Quit Checking out Pretty Women
- This is completely natural for most men. It's wired into them by instinct. It does not mean anything. It has no meaning about his relationship with you. Mother nature wants him to look. He's decided to be with you.
- Make sure that he is indeed doing this. There is a difference between a gawk and a glance--learn to tell the difference. (Some men are very good at hiding it). Let's be fair here--the shock effect of the skin some women show can make anyone stare, so understand the difference. Put some of the blame on the women as well...there is a war out there for the hearts and souls of the men--let's turn the spotlight on these women and let them feel some shame at their tackiness.
- Talk candidly to your partner about what he finds so desirable in the coveted hottie. Don't say things that anger your spouse or make him want to not listen to you, such as, "Honey, would you like me better if I dressed like a slut?"
- Don't fall into the temptation of dressing loosely just to win male approval. Most women dress seductively because of low self-esteem. Men don't just look at seductive women either. Also, make sure that you are dressed your very prettiest. Modest is best when you are with your guy. Believe it or not, men really do feel more highly of you when you respect your body enough not to show it off to every guy out there. Just because he looks at her doesn't mean he wants to be with her. Be yourself, but be sure to be your best.
- Examine yourself each day in the mirror to see if you are looking the best you can--you don't need to cake on make-up and dress extravagantly, but do dress the best you can and pay attention to details (ask a close friend to tell you what you might do differently).
- Examine yourself each day to make sure that you are not exceptionally/naturally jealous and possessive. If you are, try to accept that you can't kill all of the beautiful women in the world. There will always be competition. Remember, he's choosing to be with you.
- Understand that men are not attracted to all of the women that they stare at--some are just visually targeted on a piece of jewelry, a strange hairstyle, some funky footwear--it's really not just lust that draws a man to fixate on something. However, some men will always look, even if you're prettier. It's easy to see this as a negative commentary on you, but this is usually not be the case.
- The fact he is married to you says he loves women. Realize there is nothing unhealthy about him looking.
- If his looking makes you feel bad, you should discuss it with your husband and let him know how it makes you feel. He probably won't stop looking but may change his behavior around you.
- If this is a major problem you should schedule a time for the two of you to see a therapist/counselor. A woman's insecurity can be a large part of the problem. If he is insensitive or cruel about his looking you can discuss this as well.
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