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| || || | We have all heard that communication is the true key to a happy marriage. And this can be truly helpful many times. However, just as many times, communication gets abused and twisted until it becomes just another way to hurt your spouse and not work on your marriage.
Communication is simply saying, or relaying, a message in one format or another to get a point across. Having good communication with your spouse can be a wonderful thing, holding hands, a wink, a simple, "I love you," any of these show good communication. Even when you are angry you can show good communication skills by paying attention to what the other person is saying rather than just pulling out words or phrases to focus on. Over the years, there has been a significant change in the traditional marriage. In fact, the traditional marriage, with children, has become an exception for adults. With the advent of women having more rights, and holding jobs that can support themselves and a family, the roles
have changed. Not necessarily reversed, but women have an equal say in a marriage. A main key to a happy marriage is to recognize this, and for neither partner to take for granted the other is going to assume a traditional role in the marriage.
Women, and men, have to maintain their individualism in order to be happy. If both partners work, it is important for them to both realize how important the others career is to them and to learn to care about that also, not just the spouse. This is just one key to a happy marriage.
Another very important key to a happy marriage is to find a reason to be together. Obviously, since relying on one person to bring in a salary and one to keep house and take care of children is no longer the norm, other reasons for being together are important. If you don't have a viable reason to be together, it is very likely that there will eventually be a divorce in the future.
Creating a tradition, or a daily ritual of some form, is another key to a happy marriage. These are the little things you do every day for each other that shows how much you care for each other. Maybe it's something simple, like starting the coffee pot. It may also be something like brushing the snow off the car or scraping windows for the other. Create little rituals that show you care and you will have discovered another key to a happy marriage.
Probably the biggest, and the most overlooked key to a happy marriage is simply creating a commitment to the marriage. This is something that is no longer thought of as being important to many individuals. However, if you really want to make a marriage work, committing yourself to having a happy marriage, not just staying married, can be the glue that will bind you together for years to come.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA
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