Everywhere you turn there are secrets to getting rich, secrets to financial freedom, and secrets to raising well-behaved children. What you don't find very often are tried and true secrets to a happy marriage, and that is one thing you can't afford to not know.
You married your spouse for a number of reasons. You certainly didn't marry them just for a divorce. You have tried to have a good marriage, but it sometimes seems as though you are banging your head against a wall. You desperately want to find the secrets to a happy marriage.
Well, the secrets to a happy marriage really aren't all that secret. It's just a bit of learning, or maybe re-learning, to find the path back to your happy marriage. Somewhere along the line something got out of whack. That could be something such as work schedules and very little time together, or financial struggles that put both of you on edge, it could even be something such as differences of how to care for children or who is going to do which daily household chore. These simple things should not be a problem or even the first stepping-stone to bigger, more difficult challenges to your marriage.
If you find that things you wrongly assumed would be taken care of by your partner and they are not, remember that good communication is key to resolving this. Do not accuse your partner of deliberately trying not to handle the situation. Perhaps they just thought that was your particular need to take care of. Discussing what each partner feels is the other's particular job will head off any unwarranted hard feelings and can prevent discord. Even the little things can turn into big problems if left too long, so discuss it calmly right away. Remember, too, that just because you would do something one way, they may have an entirely different way of doing the same project. Take, for example, cooking spaghetti. Maybe you leave it long to twirl onto your fork, but perhaps your spouse always breaks it into bite size pieces and prefers a spoon. This is something to compromise on, not fight about. Simply turn your head when she cuts hers on her plate.
Something to remember when sharing a home with someone else is to divide the housework. This may seem silly to even mention, but even today, women do a much larger portion of the household chores than men do. So not only do women go out and have careers, they also get a larger chunk of chores when they return home. Working just as hard as men and then having less time to spend with their spouse or children is not conducive to a good marriage. Sometimes this is reversed, particularly if the wife has a higher-paying job. Either way split the cooking and the cleaning evenly. This is one of the secrets to a happy marriage that actually involve a little more effort, but the dividends in the end really do pay off.
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA