Making Marriage Work

Published on by CMe




Making Marriage Work

What's Happening to Marriage Today?
Many couples today simply don't put the time into making their marriage work. Research indicates that as many as half of all first marriages fail. Often as a result of either one or both partners giving up on a relationship because it has become to hard to manage.

It is an easy matter to maintain a marriage relationship when times are good. However when a couple is going through a difficult period, (which may be say work, money or family related) then that's when the marital cracks begin to show.

Restoring the Relationship
This requires a degree of effort on the part of both spouses. However implementing this very simple 3 step process can work wonders in restoring the caring and loving which once existed in a marriage.
  1. Both spouses need to affirm a mutual desire to make their marriage succeed. Then they must agree that they are prepared to do what it takes to reach that mutual goal. They must also agree to support each other in achieving that goal. This sounds extremely basic but believe us if you don't commit to these simple matters as a first step, then it is unlikely that you will achieve your objective.
  2. This step involves open communication. Agree on, and discuss, the matters in your relationship that have brought about your difficulties. Your must both be quite open and honest about any actions or deficiencies that have caused the problem. Above all--don't play the blame game. Also be careful not to allow any bitterness or criticism creep into your discussion. It is of utmost importance that the discussion should be friendly and constructive. If you are having any communication difficulties at this stage then it may be necessary to employ a guidance counselor or other intermediary to help with the process.
  3. Agree on the areas that need improvement and try and work out ways to resolve them. Then formulate a plan of action--you may need help with this step. These are simple but effective ways to turn your marriage problems around. They will work if both parties are committed and really dedicated to achieving the objective.
  4. Frequently a relationship will turn sour because of some easily resolved or inconsequential matter that has been allowed to fester, resulting sometimes in the marriage relationship going beyond the point of no return. If you really want your marriage to work then step back from any possibility of this happening to you. Our names are Brad and Michelle Ritchie. We are a married couple and have been in practice together as relationship counselors since 1988. We have written this brief item to assist couples to reconnect and restore their marital relationship.

Successful relationships are not something that is built in a day. There are many factors that go into the making of a healthy relationship. Being intimate with a person does not always mean you shall connect in a better manner. Healthy relationships are all based on how well you connect even from within. A healthy relationship is one where both can be their individual self and also learn to accept each other with all the qualities and flaws. When you are in such a relationship, both partners give each other complete freedom and also support each other in every aspect of their life. There are certain components that are required to create a base for a healthy relationship. Here, we shall check out certain traits of a healthy relationship.

Traits of a Healthy Relationship:

Having a healthy bond of friendship:
Having a bond of friendship between the couple is very necessary if you wish to have a healthy relationship. Couples that discover this beautiful bond end up knowing each other to a deeper level. Friendship is a bond that will help you to connect in various ways and considering your partner to be your buddy would help you to enjoy each other’s company to the fullest. Being a friend can help you to care and share and understand each other in various other spheres of life.

Mutual respect for each other:
For a relationship to be truly compatible in every aspect, couples need to maintain respect for each other. This respect can be towards one’s career or any other issue related to life. The moment you display a sign of respect towards your partner and appreciation for what he/she is doing for you, it will only help to strengthen this very special bond you share! Mutual respect only helps a couple to grow in a relationship.

Affection and intimacy in a relationship:
The right levels of affection are required in a relationship in order to strengthen the bond. Although physical intimacy is required, it does not always mean there is no other way to express your love. A simple ‘Love You’ works wonders when your partner is having a hectic schedule. You might be surprised how well a tight hug can keep couples more connected. A healthy relationship therefore can be gauged when couples share a lot of affection and are intimate with each other no matter how busy the schedule may appear.

Honesty and building the trust factor:
Honesty between a couple helps to bring them closer to each other and also know more about each other. For any healthy relationship, it is necessary both partners are completely honest about their opinions about all issues in life. Honesty will help to build the right amount of trust in a relationship and couples can even learn to value each other’s opinions and beliefs. This will in turn help to develop the right levels of respect for each other.

Sense of Humor:
Laughter can sure be a great way to ease things between couples. Having a great sense of humor and being able to share funny moments help to take the relationship to a new level. Having the perfect sense of humor without really hurting sentiments of people around you is one of the traits that go into the making of a healthy relationship. It also helps couples to overcome difficult situations with more ease.

Perfect Communication:
A relationship would require you to constantly communicate with your partner and get one’s feelings across. Communication is required so that couples can understand each other perfectly and also avoid misunderstandings from being created. With proper communication, a healthy relationship is possible without any added hassles! There could be no other better way than to express your feelings before your partner and also gain his/her confidence in due course of time.

To maintain a healthy relationship, a couple would also need to have a common vision and goal. This would help couples to get the most out of life together!


Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at  MetroSexual LA


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