How To Address Anger In Marriage

Published on by CMe




How To Address Anger In Marriage


There are a lot of things you can do to treat anger in marriage. One of the things I counsel you to do before everything else is to cease playing the blame game. You should evade putting the blame on your husband or wife. You must accept responsibility for your actions. When you do this, you are on the right track to solving the problem. Another thing you should do is to let your partner know that if the two of you don’t do something about the problem of ferocity in your home, the marital relationship may be heading for the rock. Some spouses often try to look for way outs alone without getting the assistance of their husband or wife. This is improper because the solution you will get will be passing. When you and your partner hunt for and get the much needed assistance, the job becomes lighter. Once you have explore for and get the assistance of your better half, it is critical that both of you see an anger management counselor. Seeing the counselor alone is improper as the counselor will not be able to proffer the best solution. But when the counseling session is done with the two of you, it will be lighter for the counselor to determine the origin of ferocity in the home and propose what the two of you should do. You and your better half should try to put into practice what the counselor has told you. It may be difficult at first, but it will work as you press on. Also, you and your better half should understand each other. When you do, you are leaving little or no room for ferocity. Be sincere with each other in your finances since it is one of the causes of ferocity in a marital relationship. When anger in marriage is not well dealt with by both husband 
and wife, it often brings forth divorce.. It is really critical for you to save your marital relationship by taking all measures to nip the problem in the bud before it brings an end to your lovely home and family.

How can I express my anger safely?
There are safe ways to express your anger:

  • Go for a run
  • Talk to someone you trust
It is important that you express your anger safely. If you don't, you may hurt yourself or someone else.

How can relaxation help?
Relaxation can help put things in perspective. There are many ways you can relax:

  • Go for a walk or sit quietly in a park
  • Listen to music
  • Read a book, go to a movie or watch a video
  • Play your favorite sport
  • Take a bath
It is easy to forget to make time to relax. It can be helpful to try and put time aside each day to do something relaxing. Try writing a list of activities that you find relaxing.

How can I handle arguments?
Once you have an argument, it is easy to stay angry or upset with the other person. If you don't resolve arguments with people you see often, it can be a very uncomfortable experience. Talking to the person about your disagreement may or may not help. If you do approach them make sure it is in a helpful way.

Unresolved arguments can cause problems
Unresolved arguments can lead to:

  • Confusion and feelings of resentment
  • Stress and tension
  • Sleeplessness
  • Illness
  • Family breakdowns or poor relationships
  • Aggression or violence
What are the physical effects of anger?
Anger triggers the body's 'fight or flight' response. Other emotions that trigger this response include fear, excitement and anxiety. The adrenal glands flood the body with stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. The brain shunts blood away from the gut and towards the muscles, in preparation for physical exertion. Heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increase, the body temperature rises and the skin perspires.

Can anger cause health problems?
The constant flood of stress chemicals and associated metabolic changes that accompany recurrent unmanaged anger can eventually cause harm to many different systems of the body. Some of the short and long term health problems that have been linked to unmanaged anger include:

  • Headache
  • Digestion problems, such as abdominal pain
  • Insomnia
  • Increased anxiety
  • Depression
  • High blood pressure
  • Skin problems, such as eczema
  • Heart attack
  • Stroke
What are unhelpful ways to deal with anger?
Many people express their anger in inappropriate and harmful ways, including:
  • Anger explosions - some people have very little control over their anger and tend to explode in rages. Raging anger may lead to physical abuse or violence. A person who doesn't control their hot temper can isolate themselves from family and friends. Some people who fly into rages have low self-esteem, and use their anger as a way to manipulate others and feel powerful.
  • Anger repression - some people consider that anger is an inappropriate or 'bad' emotion, and choose to suppress it. However, bottled anger often turns into depression and anxiety.
How can I learn to express anger in healthy ways?
Suggestions on how to express your anger in healthy ways include:
  • If you feel out of control, walk away from the situation temporarily, until you cool down
  • Recognize and accept the emotion as normal and part of life
  • Try to pinpoint the exact reasons why you feel angry
  • Once you have identified the problem, consider coming up with different strategies on how to remedy the situation
  • Do something physical
What are some suggestions for long term anger management?
The way you typically express anger may take some time to modify. Suggestions include:
  • Keep a diary of your anger outbursts, to try and understand how and why you get mad.
  • Consider assertiveness training, or learning about techniques of conflict resolution.
  • Learn relaxation techniques, such as meditation.
  • See a counselor or psychologist if you still feel angry about events that occurred in your past.
  • Take regular exercise

What are the benefits of regular exercise in anger management?
People who are stressed are more likely to experience anger. Numerous worldwide studies have documented that regular exercise can improve mood and reduce stress levels. The effect may be twofold: physical exertion burns up stress chemicals, and it also boosts production of mood-regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, including endorphins and catecholamines.

What can I do to teach my children how to express anger appropriately?
Expressing anger appropriately is a learned behavior. Suggestions on helping your child to deal with strong feelings include:

  • Lead by example
  • Let them know that anger is natural and should be expressed
  • Treat your child's feelings with respect
  • Teach practical problem-solving skills
  • Encourage open and honest communication in the home
  • Allow them to express their anger in appropriate ways
  • Explain the difference between aggression and anger
  • Punish aggression or violence, but not appropriately expressed anger
  • Teach your child different ways of calming and soothing themselves
Things to remember
  • Learn to express your anger safely
  • Relaxing activities can help you deal with your anger
  • Resolving arguments will make you feel more positive and happy.
  • The long term physical effects of uncontrolled anger include increased anxiety, high blood pressure and headache
  • Anger is a positive and useful emotion, if it is expressed appropriately
  • Long term strategies on anger management include regular physical exercise, learning relaxation techniques and counselling

Illustration from Clyde Mendes column a MetroSexual LA



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