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So, as you know, I was feeling a bit down on myself last week, and in the hopes that the newish book How to Love Like a Hot Chick might have some interesting insights, I picked up a copy. I'll admit that, looking at the cover--which has a picture of this cheesecake woman in a negligee, applying perfume--I felt kind of skeptical.
But then I looked at the first page, where the authors define hot chick
A confident woman. She knows what she wants and gets it. She is aware of her flaws, but she doesn't obsess over them and instead thinks that maybe (just maybe) they actually add to her unique beauty. ... She loves life. She is comfortable in her own skin ... She has fun and she is sexy, and you just want to be around her to soak up some of those good vibes. She isn't perfect, but she doesn't care because she is hot. And so are you.
That sounded pretty good to me. Because really, when I think of the kind of sexy person I'd like to be, I don't picture myself as a Playboy model. When I think of what a sexy woman is, she's a little more like the Meryl Strep character in Out of Africa. Probably like the Meryl Strep character in Julia & Julie, too, though I haven't seen that yet. Let's just say Meryl Strep might play her. She's someone with a nice home or apartment, full of light and greenery. It's not huge, maybe, her home, but it's comfortable and inviting. She is someone who has interesting adventures (even if only in her own neighborhood). She has dear friends. She gets knocked down, but she gets up again. She is, in other words, someone who is surrounds herself with LIFE and is full of LIFE herself. And she enjoys her life--which, admittedly, I myself am not so great at doing, because I'm too hard on myself (always forcing myself to write, write, write, or work out, work out, work out).
Anyway, I decided to flip through the book a little. One of the first sections is about why being single doesn't suck. Here, the authors say: When you find yourself getting down [about being single] ... stop counting how many weeks or months or years it's been since you've gone on a date or gotten laid ... and think about this: This is YOUR time and there is so much that you can do with the freedom you have now. ...
And that struck a chord with me. Because lately, yet again, darn Jonas Singer keeps coming into my brain, and I keep thinking about how much fun it was to make out with him. Buy why? Why bother obsessing about the past when the here-and-now is what matters?
Here are my favorites:
Play hostess. As the authors point out, this is a great way to celebrate your life--and to remind yourself of all the good people in it. Whether you have a small dinner party or a huge kegger, take the time to drink to your friends and family. And to YOU! Even you're only having sparkling water. I haven't had a dinner party since ... New Year's Eve! I think it's high time for me to get on it.
Go to the movies by yourself. "This is a good way to remind yourself that you're not banished to your house just because you're single," the authors write. And, as they note, this takes a LOT of confidence. (Also, it can be genuinely awesome: After going to see The Godfather, Part I with my father for my birthday, I returned the following afternoon by myself to watch Part II ... and since I was solo, I got the best seat in the house, even though I didn't get there till right before the movie started! Also, I stayed and watched the credits till the screen went totally blank, which I love to do, though a lot of other people don't.)
Educate yourself. Knowledge is power--and being knowledgeable about any subject is very sexy. So whether it's a cooking class, a wine-tasting seminar, an Italian-language course, or even just a workshop about how to fix your bicycle with your own two hands, sign up to learn about something that interests you. You will have that new knowledge with you forever!
They had one other tip that I'd like to mention. Though, being a stickler, I don't think it quite qualifies as an "experience." It's more of a habit to get into. They say:
Buy a vibrator. Abso-frigging-lutely. But more importantly--use it, sister! As the authors say: "[Having a vibe] will keep you happier through your single days, prevent you from getting desperate and help you learn exactly what [you like] ...." I was 30 before I bought MY first one, and boy, do I wish I'd done it sooner. I just spent about a year convincing my friend Daisy to get one--and although she felt quite prudish about it at first, now she can't thank me enough. This probably deserves its own post, and SOON--but in the meantime, if you don't have one, go!! Get it! Now!
So guys, what do you think? What are some other experiences every single woman should have?
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at Girl's Weekly, Australia