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| || || | Men joke that any sex is good sex — and they're not entirely kidding. They're biologically designed to be gratified in bed more quickly and easily than we are. But when pressed, almost every man will admit that sometimes sex is better than good. Certain sex moves drive them crazy in the best possible way. Women who know these moves hold the kind of power over men that inspires great art, novels and films. And you don't have to be lithe or athletic to perfect them. In fact, they're ridiculously easy to learn.
The seven techniques here are guaranteed to thrill him — and make him eager to please you in return. The couples who've tried them can attest to that.
- Let him watch
What it is: Moving in a way that is specifically intended to excite him
How to do it: Men are erotic visualists, more intensely aroused by visual stimulation than women are. Some men say that watching a woman climax is the ultimate form of arousal for them.
Many women touch themselves discreetly during intercourse to facilitate orgasm. Few realize they can use this little move with a theatrical flourish to arouse their men. Next time you're ready to make love and he isn't particularly interested, put on a sexy shirt and nothing else (except maybe black thigh-high stockings and a pair of heels) and assume a provocative position, with your back against the headboard, legs open and bent at the knees. Place two fingers in an inverted V straddling your clitoris.
What couples say:
"This is one of the sexiest things a woman can do for her man. When she touches herself and looks into his eyes, she's sharing a part of herself he can't have any other way. I want my wife to do this for me — I fantasize about it — but so far she hasn't."
— Brad, 29
"The idea embarrasses me. I don't want to watch him, so why does he want to watch me? I'll probably do it someday just to please him, but I'll need a glass of wine first."
— Kristen, 27, his wife
"She looks at me while she's doing it. She takes long, slow strokes; and I go from zero to a 90-degree erection in no time. When her hips start moving faster and her eyes get heavy, I have to have her now."
— Jeff, 35
"I feel so powerful when I have that kind of immediate and intense effect on him. The electricity we generate from eye contact would light a room. If you can't be a shameless exhibitionist with your husband, then with whom?"
— Lisa, 34, his wife
- Stand up your man
What it is: A manual wake-up call for him
How to do it: Men love to be stroked, fondled and handled with authority by expert female hands — and they love watching a woman take manual erotic control of them. If he's having trouble getting a firm erection, rub a small amount of oil or lubricant onto your palms and put one hand firmly around the base of his penis. Work the other hand from the base up to the head in a circular, twisting motion, as if you were following a winding staircase up his appendage. Caress the head with your palm. Then start at the bottom again. This staircase goes only one way: up.
If he's sensitive around his perineum (the space between his testicles and anus), adjust the hand gripping the base of his penis so you're free to massage the perineum with a finger or your thumb. Or pay attention to his testicles if he likes that. When he has a full and firm erection, guarantee his stamina by using this stroke: Open your hand and form a V with your thumb and index finger. Slide his penis between the V so the flat of your palm caresses the shaft, and move upward from the base to the head. Again, only move up.
What couples say:
"The women I knew before I met my wife held me the way a wimpy guy shakes hands. You don't want that. You don't want a crusher, either. Tessa has the perfect touch; I let her take charge. When she starts that little twisting move with her hand, I spring to life."
— Michael, 37
"If you really like something, you're probably good at it. And I love knowing I can get him really aroused simply by using my hands."
— Tessa, 30, his wife
"The upward strokes really work. There's probably a psychological component to it: It's like she's pulling my sexual energy upward too."
— James, 40
"I love being with James. Younger men can get erections so quickly that a woman doesn't have the opportunity to apply much manual skill. I'm a visual woman, so I get aroused doing this too."
— Deborah, 29, his wife
- Take matters into your own hands
What it is: A hand job like he's never had — and couldn't possibly give himself
How to do it: This is really a two-hand job. Begin by clasping your lubricated hands together, fingers interlaced, tightly around him (but not so tightly, of course, that you cut off his circulation). Move your hands up the shaft in one long twisting motion followed by the same motion as you work your way back down. Now vary that move by eliminating the twist. When he has a firm erection, clasp your hands at the top of the shaft. Gently contract and release them around the shaft at approximately one-second intervals. Keep doing this up and down the shaft, stopping at the rim where the shaft meets the head.
Alternate the twisting and the contracting strokes until he is ready for launch. Then hold him firmly in both hands, gently contracting them in time with his spasms. Finish him off by running your thumb from the base of the shaft on the underside up to the head.
What couples say:
"When she contracts and releases her hands around me, the sensations echo in my head like erotic heartbeats. A woman who is really good with her hands is an expert lover."
— Jake, 33
"Jake has a higher sex drive than I do. He wants sex every day, sometimes more on weekends. I like to do this for him, especially on a lazy weekend afternoon, because it gives us a special connection."
— Angela, 31, his wife
"When she does this for me, I feel the orgasm building more gradually than when we have intercourse. It's strong, intense. And I can watch."
— Marco, 32
"I experience him in a different way when I feel him in my hands from the way I do during intercourse. Every movement is exaggerated, maybe because I see it happening."
— Kim, 33, his wife
- Perfect the stand-up kiss
What it is: A way to arouse him or restore his flagging erection during lovemaking
How to do it: This can arouse him when he thinks he's not in the mood; it's the most direct route to a state of heightened readiness. Holding his penis firmly in one hand, take it in your mouth, moving the head and the top third of the shaft in and out. When he becomes erect, use a variety of strokes, including these two:
* The twist and swirl: Use one hand to do the circular twisting motion described in move No. 2 as you swirl your tongue around the corona (the ridge separating the shaft from the head), paying particular attention to the frenulum (the small piece of skin where the head meets the shaft).
* The butterfly flick: Lightly flick your tongue back and forth across the delicate corona.
What couples say:
"Cathy used to lick like I was an ice-cream cone. Then one day she did this little swirling thing with her tongue around the rim, and it gave me a tremendous erection. That inspired her creativity."
— Dennis, 39
"I love feeling that I can have him whenever I want simply by using my skills. Last night I surprised him: He came into the bedroom complaining of being tired and having a headache. I was naked. He was fully dressed. I unzipped his pants: He wasn't tired and achy anymore. The sex was great."
— Cathy, 38, his wife
"The combination of her hand and her tongue, both twisting and swirling, is intense and irresistible. I may be tired, but when she puts that special move on me, I become a man of steel."
— Joe, 34
"Control is important. I do this move long enough to give him an erection with staying power, but without taking him into the zone where he'll come too soon. I have to stop myself, because I really get into playing with him."
— Meg, 31, his wife
- Give him the ultimate delight
What it is: Oral sex all the way
How to do it: He'll be eternally grateful for this one. Do the steps in move No. 4 until he's close to orgasm. Then gradually draw him in, as much of him as you can comfortably handle, keeping a hand firmly around the rest (use your thumb and forefinger to form a ring — an okay sign — and place this ring around your mouth). Move your tongue around the shaft. Pull in your cheeks to create suction. Open your mouth to release the suction, but keep the tip of your tongue engaged. With the palm of one hand or your thumb, massage the perineum.
What couples say:
"I love the way her mouth feels around me, and I also love watching her. I'm always so grateful that I'll do anything she wants when it's her turn."
— Mark, 35
"This is the most intimate, loving thing a woman can do for her man. I really enjoy making Mark happy in such a special way. It gives me satisfaction too."
— Julie, 35, his wife
"I love the way she silently uses her cheeks to create suction. She is so elegant and beautiful, I can't believe she is willing to do this for me."
— Brian, 39
"I use that little okay-sign technique. Conquer the gag reflex and you've conquered your man."
— Elaine, 33, his wife
- Take the roundabout path
What it is: An arousing spin on the female-superior position
How to do it: Men love the special moves women make in the female-superior position. To increase his excitement and visual stimulation — and intensify clitoral and G-spot stimulation for you — move on an oval track rather than straight up and down. Imagine you're circumscribing an oval with your body, with the downstroke at one end of the oval, the upstroke at the other. Lean forward slightly as you push down on him, stimulating your clitoris. Pull up and move backward slightly on the upstroke, stimulating your G spot. (Can't find your G spot? It's a patch of skin a third of the way up the front vaginal wall, easily reachable with your fingers.)
What couples say:
"When she's on top and she moves in this oval fashion — wow! I can't get that sensation when I'm on top, no matter how I vary my thrusting. She's a sex goddess."
— Kevin, 32
"I actually discovered my G spot in this position. The orgasms I have on the oval track feel like they're emanating from two places at once. I come in waves. That makes him more excited, and his orgasms seem to be stronger too."
— Mandy, 34, his wife
"Watching her make that oval circuit is as exciting as feeling it. Sometimes she throws her arm up in the air like she's riding a mechanical bull."
— Gianlucca, 31
"My pleasure really turns him on. This is my best move because I can gyrate myself into a big orgasm."
— Anna, 34, his wife
- Adjust the angle
What it is: A variation on the rear-entry position that dramatically improves the experience for both of you
How to do it: This simple adjustment to the basic rear-entry position accomplishes two worthy goals: It presents your buttocks in the most flattering way possible and it increases G-spot stimulation. Never had a G-spot orgasm? You just may have one now.
Here's how you do it: Kneel on the edge of the bed and have your man stand behind you. Lie with your chest flat on the bed and elevate your hips at a steeper angle than you would normally do in this position. This elongates the vaginal barrel, making the fit tighter and creating additional stimulation for both of you.
What couples say:
"I love looking at my wife's buttocks, and I love the fact that I feel larger when I enter her this way."
— Leo, 39
"When my buttocks are elevated that high in the air, the little cellulite-pocked areas where the buttocks meet the thighs smooth out. I look good. When you look hot, you feel hot."
— Bree, 32, his wife
"The fit is tight; the view is extraordinary. And she really gets into her own experience. I like watching her from this position."
— Derek, 34
"We both enjoy the deep penetration we get. And I get a lot of sensation in my nipples with my breasts pressed against the bed."
— Sherrilyn, 31, his wife
So why not make the most of that healthy lust? We checked in with top experts to get the best booty tricks you may not have tried yet. Work your way down the list in succession or mix and match moves custom-made for his package. Either way, let the games begin.
1. Have a naughty-movie marathon. Rent a bunch of flicks with famously steamy sex scenes. How could you not get inspired?
2. Intensify his orgasm by placing two fingers an inch behind his balls and feeling for a dent (the perineum, a big pleasure trigger). For the last 30 seconds before he comes, massage the spot in a circular motion.
3. Tie two or three knots in a nylon stocking, and gently wrap it (don’t tie it) around the base of his penis so it’s snug but still has some give. The compression makes him even more sensitive, and the knots stimulate your clitoris as you move in girl-on-top.
4. Put a small mirror out to the side, parallel to his body, while you’re going down on him — he’ll have an eye-popping view.
5. To make his orgasm explosive, gently squeeze the base of his penis for five seconds before he comes, then release.
6. Close your eyes and masturbate in front of him. It’s a turn-on because he’ll feel like the only viewer of a private porn show.
7. Text your man racy one-word messages that, when strung together, hint at what you want him to do to you that night.
8. Make a playlist of sultry songs, and set it to shuffle during sex. Change up your pace and mood to match each new tune.
9. Buy a small, bullet-shaped vibrator that has a remote operation. Hold it over your clitoris, and hand him the controls.
10. While your man is hard, use one hand to push his penis up toward his stomach. Lick the underside of his shaft by keeping your tongue flat and moving your head from side to side to cover more surface area.
11. While he’s giving you oral sex, tell him to insert a finger in your vagina and stroke your G-spot with a come-hither motion.
12. Get it on outdoors in a sleeping bag in your backyard. The cozy space makes missionary position even more intimate.
13. For increased sensation for both of you, apply a warming lube designed for sex to his penis right before he enters you.
14. Straddle your guy, then lean forward and rest your upper body on his torso. Bring one leg out to the side, and bend it so that the inside of your leg is against the bed. Then straighten the other leg, and slide it in between his legs. You’ll be better able to rock your clitoral area against his pelvis.
15. As your man goes down on you, ask him to draw figure eights with his tongue over your clitoris so he hits every angle.
16. Challenge yourselves to have sex every day for a month. More frequent encounters rev your libido, culminating in a big domin-O effect with each session.
17. Before sex, take a hot shower together and rub each other’s bodies with salt scrub. The steam and rubbing action will stimulate the nerve endings and blood flow.
18. Sit on the sofa with your legs spread, feet on the ground, and your hips slightly off the edge. Have your man kneel in front of you and enter you, then use your legs and arms to slide yourself up and down on him.
19. Explore tying each other up by getting a sport sheet — which slips over your bed and has four Velcro restraints at each corner — from a sex shop.
20. While on top, straddle your guy and clench your legs so his arms and torso are pinned down. As he keeps still, roll your hips in a clockwise direction. Switch to counterclockwise, then back, every 30 seconds.
21. Play porn star by bringing a camcorder into bed to view yourselves. But don’t record the action — just seeing each other through the lens is a huge turn-on.
22. Trade butt-cheek massages, using firm, kneading motions to stimulate the surprisingly sensitive gluteus muscles.
23. Kiss and lick your way down his torso, stopping short of his penis, then give him a smile and work your way back up. Repeat several times until he begs for mercy.
24. Pop an erotic film into the DVD player, and let the noises serve as inspiration — you’ll feel like you’re in the midst of an orgy.
25. Build momentum by keying in to an ocean legend that the seventh in a series of sea waves is the strongest. Lie on your back on a bench and have your man make every seventh thrust his most powerful.
26. For a super intimate move, have him sit Indian-style (with legs crossed) on the bed or floor. Then straddle him, wrap your legs behind his back, and rock back and forth.
27. On a cold, rainy day, pick five spots in your apartment, and challenge each other to have sex in every one before sundown.
28. When out at a party, lean your back against him so it looks like you’re just affectionately resting your body. Then subtly grind your butt into his package instead.
29. Flash back to high school by keeping your panties on during sex. He can massage you through the fabric — with both his hands and his mouth — as foreplay. Then, when you’re begging for skin-on-skin contact, have him pull the panties to the side to enter you. Put lube on his penis, then get on top, slip it between your labia, and slide up and down along his shaft, targeting your clitoris.
30. In girl-on-top position, lean back and place both hands on the bed behind you with your head tilted back. He’ll get a full view of your breasts and torso and a tickling sensation from the feeling of your hair on his legs.
31. When giving him oral sex, invite him to finish on your breasts.
32. Run your fingertips over your nipples and gently squeeze your breasts in your hands, all while holding eye contact with him.
33. Ignite all his senses by giving him light, fluttery, barely there kisses all over his body, from his forehead down to his toes.
34. Put a frozen grape in your mouth and warm it up a bit. Then hold it between your teeth and glide it down his neck, around his nipples, and over his lips. Finally, use your tongue to slip the grape into his mouth.
35. Have him tease you by varying his thrust technique: entering you with just the tip and then going only halfway in or stroking you on the outside with his member. He can even swirl inside you, grinding with a circular motion.
36. In the middle of intercourse, dig your nails into his butt and pull him in closer.
37. When he’s giving you oral sex, have him approach you at a perpendicular angle so he can move his tongue across your clitoris, rather than up and down. It’s easier for him... and superintense for you.
38. While kissing him, lick and suck his tongue to simulate action below his belt.
39. Ignite all his senses by giving him light, barely there kisses all over his body, from his head down to his toes.
40. In doggie-style, make a downward V with your fingers, and place them over your labia to put pleasuring pressure on your clitoris.
41. Make upright sex easier by standing on a step stool to line up your pelvis with your man’s. Wrap one leg around his waist and have him cradle an arm under your butt for support.
42. Cop a trick from yoga to intensify your connection: As he enters you from behind when you’re on all fours, do cat/cow stretches, slowly rounding and then arching your backs.
43. Create a buffet of sensual pleasure by blindfolding your man. Then alternate using a cashmere glove, silk panties, and a piece of leather to stroke his skin. Next, it’s your turn.
44. While driving home one night, tell him to pull off into a secluded parking area. Then take him in the backseat.
45. With your man sitting on a chair, straddle him, then slowly slip him inside you and caress his lips with your nipples.
46. While kissing, gently run your fingernails up and down the inside of his arm. It’s a teasing, arousing sensation that will leave him craving more.
47. In-bed aggression makes sex more exciting, so have him be a little firm with you by pinning you to the bed. Playfully resist by trying to close your legs or sit up. Just don’t get too rough, and make sure you have a safe word.
48. Have him stand with his back pressed up against one side of a door frame. Bend over and hold on to the other side so you’re in a standing doggie-style position.
49. Show up at his place in a long coat and knee-high boots and nothing on underneath.
50. Try side-saddle position for a more unique and snug fit. Make a bridge with your arms behind you on one side of him and your legs in front of you on the other. Then slide yourself down onto his penis so you’re perpendicular to his body.
51. For a tighter fit during missionary, bring your legs together and up toward you, then rest them both on one of his shoulders or keep them high and straight.
52. As you feel yourself reaching orgasm, slow down to an intensity of about 75 percent of your full speed, stay there for one minute, and then pick up the pace again. This technique will make your orgasm even more intense.
53. Challenge him to turn you on using only one finger on less obvious spots, like behind your knees and the nape of your neck.
54. Before company comes over, get it on in one of the chairs in your living room. Seeing a guest sitting there later will remind you of how naughty you were.
55. Come to bed wearing nothing but sky-high fetish-style or gladiator heels. Your footwear will give your tryst a kinky S and M vibe.
56. While pleasuring yourself, call your man and give him a play-by-play of what you’re doing. It’s both a turn-on and an education.
57. To get better leverage in missionary, lie with your head toward the end of the bed, put your feet up against the wall, and use your legs to push back and forth underneath him.
58. Take an ice cube and run it over sensitive spots, like his nipples, lower stomach, and inner thighs. Follow each stroke with hot breath on the area, letting your lips graze his skin.
59. To help you orgasm during missionary, slip a small vibrator over your clitoris while he’s on top. He’ll also reap the benefits from that extra bit of buzzing on his nerve endings.
60. Instruct your man to sit in a chair, and bind his hands together behind him using a scarf. Then give him a lap dance, teasing him with your untouchable hotness.
61. Before you orgasm when he’s giving you oral sex, lift your hips slightly and clench your butt muscles to make it more intense.
62. Run a super hot bath and get in so that your heads are on opposite sides of the tub. Use your feet to tickle, stroke, and gently massage each other’s sensitive spots before getting on top of him.
63. In missionary, up the G-spot action by having him rotate his body clockwise, using his arms to support himself, until you’re facing opposite directions. From there, grip his waist with your thighs as he thrusts back into you.
64. In girl-on-top, as you are sliding up his penis, contract your vaginal muscles, squeezing your way up his member. Then release, and slide back down his penis. The clenching of the muscles will help you reach orgasm and give him a tight fit.
65. Pick up a couple of sushi rolls, lie down on your couch, and invite your man to enjoy a meal off your naked body. If he’s not a fan of raw fish, use Gummi bears instead.
66. Lick the skin between his balls during oral, then lightly suck each one.
67. Using massage oil, rub his chest and penis with the same motions.
68. Gently rub a bit of lube onto the head of his penis while stroking his shaft with your other hand.
69. Lift his sack, and flick your tongue on the crease of skin where the scrotum meets his body.
70. Slip on a massage mitt (a plastic glove found at most sex stores), and give him a lubed-up hand job.
71. Wet the fabric of his underwear with your tongue, and puff short breaths of hot air on it.
72. While your man is on all fours, lower yourself under him and gently tilt his penis toward you so you can suck from underneath.
73. Drape a warm, wet washcloth over his penis to get his blood pumping.
74. Slip a vibrating ring onto the base of his shaft while giving him oral action.
75. Take a beaded necklace (one without exposed string or wire), lube it up, then wrap it around his penis and roll it up and down.
Tie his hands to your bedposts. Then, to really build anticipation, leave him there for half an hours.
When he’s on top, use your fingernails to etch the words I love you backward into his back so he can read it in the bathroom mirror.
As you orgasm, scream out not only his name. Initiate sex against a wall.
Then, just as you’re about to climax, burst through it like the Kool-Aid Man.
Do a sexy pole dance when you pass one of any kind: street-lamp poles, traffic-sign poles, the poles holding up the volleyball net at his family reunion....
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA
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