Affection and affinity for your partner can be shown in many ways, but none are quite as personal as a massage. Given correctly, a massage can be one of the most intensely sensual moments you can share with your partner. It has even been referred to as a dance of love with your fingertips. Not a surprise, considering the skin is the largest sensory organ in the body! The next time you want to plan some thing a little more special and out-of-the-ordinary, spoil your partner with a night of massage.
Ingredients of the Romantic Masseuse
You'll need some type of oil or lotion. Fragrant oils are fine, but keep in mind your partner's sensitivity to smells or skin irritations. Also check to see if they are allergic to any kind of oils, lotions or scents. If you'd rather not use the oils or lotions, try cornstarch.
Next, you'll need to decide on a location. Obviously, not many couples have access to a massage table, so you'll need to create the next best thing! A sturdy tabletop padded with foam or blankets should work great. Otherwise, try a padded floor, or for the more adventurous, a large towel on the beach or secluded park. If you plan on doing the massage outside, take precautions against insects and excessive heat or cold.
If staying inside is more appealing, then allow for no distractions! This means unplug the phone and arrange for no one else to be in the house, including children. Wherever you choose, make sure you have easy and comfortable access to both the right and left sides of your partner's body and that the temperature is comfortably warm. If need be, cover the areas of the body you're not working on with a light comfortable blanket, or use a portable heater.
You'll also need a towel or two to wipe your hands or your partner. Also, a towel can also come in very handy in the case of a spill.
For your covering cloth, make sure to select something that is OK to be oiled. A sheet works perfectly for this.
The most enticing part of a massage can often be the atmosphere in which it is presented. If quality time is spent on setting the mood, you'll both reap the rewards! Play some soft relaxing classical, jazz or "mood" music in the background. You can play anything without any harsh rhythms or words. Candlelight, incense and flowers are wonderful mood setters as well. Try to make the setting evoke a feeling of sensuality and comfort. Take your time, and make sure you have plenty of pillows and comfortable blankets. Consider it your temple of love.
Props are a wonderful addition to any massage. Anything that is soft to the touch, but not too light so as to tickle will be wonderful. Feathers, a silk scarf, flowers, flannel strips, etc. also work beautifully. If using a feather, make sure not to do it too lightly. If you decide to use props, keep them within easy reach.
Before starting, make sure your partner is comfortable and doesn't need anything. (i.e. they don't have to go to the restroom, aren't hungry, etc.)
To start, you might want to give them a simple back rub or a head massage (an often overlooked sensual area). This will get you and your partner into communication with each other as well as let your partner get used to your touch. Once you're both ready, have your partner lie down on their stomach. Straddle your partner's body (a leg on each side) and begin to let your fingers stroke lightly, starting from the neck down. Each stroke should begin from the spine and roll off the sides of your partner's body. Remember that continuous movement is the key. Always try to keep even pressure between each hand.
When you place or remove your hands, use a glide on, glide off style of touching. Glide in the direction your hands will be moving on or off the body. Maintain a continuous flow while massaging. Make your movements blend together, each one enhancing the preceding one and preparing for the next. Your strokes should be fluid, never jerky. Always take your hands around or off of the body rather then stopping in mid-flow.
Keep the massage varied. Often change the tempo, rythm and pressure. While the point is to relax your partner, you don't want them to fall asleep either!
If you're unsure of how much pressure to give, lighter is usually better. Talk with your partner to find out how they prefer it. When massaging their legs, feet, arms or hands make sure to give equal massage time to each side.
Make sure your recipient is enjoying what you are doing. You can usually tell, but if you're not sure, ask them.
Be comfortable and confident with yourself and what you're doing. This is your gift to your partner - let that show. From here, let your heart be your guide and let your instincts rule your fingers.
For ideas on how to set the stage for your night of massage, read these massage night stories from other LYC readers.
A Much Needed Massage
The days were long and the nights short. Work was taking over our lives when fate intervened and I met a lady that does home delivery massages. So, I booked her and told my boyfriend to not bring any friends over. I brought home his favorite bottle of wine, cooked up a steak, and covered the house in candles. When he came home, the massage table was set up. I saw the biggest smile ever when he finally realized what the dim lights, music, and candles were about. It was the most relaxing night and not at all as expensive as you would think. We were too relaxed for anything after our massages, but it was something he bragged to his friends about for weeks. A few weeks later he surprised me with a ring and the big question.
--submitted by Mary
At Home Spa Day
My boyfriend is going to chiropractic college, so we don't have a lot of money right now. He told me he wanted to do something special for me, so one weekend; he invited me to "Blake's Spa." When I woke up that morning, he brought me breakfast in bed. He had set up our bathroom with candles and a bubble bath, which we shared. When we were ready to get out of the bubble bath, he went out and got our towels, which he had put in the dryer so that they were warm. He then gave me a foot massage, while soaking the foot that wasn't being massaged in a foot bath. We had a nap for a while, then after the nap, he gave me a full body massage. Later that evening he made us both dinner. Then he had made his own facial mask from a recipe that he got online. He gave me my own personal facial, and while that was setting, he gave me a head massage. It was one of the most romantic days that we have spent together, and it only cost us about $10 for the ingredients for the face mask. Needless to say, he was very well rewarded for his efforts!
--submitted by Virgil
Your Private Massage Therapist
I was thinking that something really cool to learn to satisfy my girlfriend would be to learn massage. I went and got some books and some Jasmine massage oil (girls love that scent) and I learned a thing or two. About a week later, I told my girlfriend to come over. When she arrived, I took her down to my room, lit with candles, and sat her down at a home made italian dinner right in the middle of my room. After we were done eating, I told her that I had learned a thing or two about massage and I'd like to try it on her. She LOVED it and told me that she's never felt anything like it or had anyone do anything so sweet before. She said that night was the most memorable she'd ever had.
--submitted by Sean
Illustration from Clyde Mendes column at MetroSexual LA