- Men dislike a passive partner during sex. Some women fall into the habit of just laying there during intercourse, expecting the pleasure to just happen. Be active. Express yourself through sounds and touch. This will help your partner understand what you enjoy during sex so that he won’t be left in the dark.
- Some women mistakenly believe that men do not enjoy being kissed, but that’s simply not true. Men like to be kissed as much as women; kissing his entire body is a great way to increase the passion in the bedroom.
- Sometimes control over the situation is left entirely in the man’s hands. Women should not be afraid to take control at times. Some men enjoy being told what to do in the bedroom.
- Treat your partner sensitively. Don’t keep the focus on yourself. Help your partner feel all the pleasure you yourself feel.
- Give a little pleasure to get a little pleasure. Men are sometimes under the impression that women don’t enjoy, or simply don’t care about, sex. Show him that you are invested in giving him pleasure and he is sure to reciprocate.
- Don’t be afraid to let your partner know that you are enjoying his ministrations. Some women repress their expressions, especially during sexual intercourse. Making a little noise will encourage your partner and he will better understand what you enjoy.
- If you worry that your sex life is getting boring, take action! Keep your activities fresh with a new outfit or a new toy.
- Men want to feel desired. Take initiative and show your man you want to have sex with him. Initiate lovemaking every once in a while and your man will definitely enjoy the change in pace.
- The mood you have worked so hard to achieve can be ruined if you begin to tidy up right after sex. Don’t act like the act of intimacy has soiled your bed. Take a moment to relax and enjoy the post-coital satisfaction with your partner.
- Don’t be afraid to speak up in the bedroom. While talking too much about random topics can kill the mood for a man, most enjoy a little dirty talk or knowing how much he has pleased you.
It’s always been my understanding — from personal experience, friends’ experience and general popular culture — that most guys hate wearing condoms and if pregnancy and STDs weren’t a concern, they’d totally ditch the latex. But a recent letter to Time Out New York‘s sex columnist, Jamie Bufalino, has me scratching my head. Is it possible that some men actually LIKE wearing a condom? A reader writes…
I’m deep into a long-term relationship (married 11 years), and my guy wears a condom every time we have sex. He’s done this since almost the beginning, when I found out he had herpes. (Oh, and for the person who wrote in recently about this, yeah, he didn’t tell me at first either, and it wasn’t a deal breaker, thank God!) Anyway, the condom-wearing has been a nonissue in our relationship. But recently I’ve noticed that he seems to really like it. He waits for me to put it on, grinning, and gets even harder once it’s there. I’ve always assumed that all guys would rather go without. Even the government is now spending half a million dollars to find out why guys hate condoms! But here’s the thing: My last two monogamous boyfriends also wore condoms whenever we got it on. So my question is, is this normal? Three guys in committed relationships wearing condoms without a peep or complaint (and the third one loving it)? Could our sex culture have this one all wrong? I’m curious what you think about it.
I think our government sure knows how to waste money. I don’t need to spend half a million dollars to know why guys don’t like wearing condoms—it’s the decrease in pleasure, stupid. As for your ongoing research, I think your husband must be so psyched that you didn’t dump his ass when you found out he had herpes that the sight of you putting a condom on his dick probably sends him into paroxysms of pleasure. It also sounds like a ritual thing at this point, and sexual rituals are hot. I don’t know what was up with the other two dudes, but I do know that having sex (even with a condom) is better than not having sex, so maybe they just didn’t want to rock the boat. And although sex without a condom is better (let’s not kid ourselves), those little latex jobbers have contributed a lot more to sex than they’ve ever taken away, so we should give credit where it’s due.
So what do you guys think? Have you had sexual partners who seem to enjoy the condom experience? Do you think these dudes are just so happy to be having sex that, as Jamie says, they don’t want to rock the boat? Or is there a chance condoms are the newest fetishized trend?