Ever since word got out earlier this week that scientists have figured out how to create synthetic sperm from embryonic stem cells, people have been fantasizing what a world without men might be like. I don’t get it — would synthetic sperm only create girl babies? And why would any of us want a world with no men anyway? Who would carry our heavy luggage up the stairs after getting home from a vacation? After the jump, 15 things we’d miss about men if they ever became extinct.
- Their 5 o’clock shadow.
- Intercourse and outercourse.
- How cute and vulnerable they look first thing in the morning.
- The way they reassure us we’re nothing like our mothers.
- Their ability to reach the high shelves at the grocery store.
- Taking it like a man when we have a PMS outburst.
- Their cute little nicknames for us.
- Reassuring us we’re nothing like the bitches their friends date.
- How well they lie about the size of our ass in our skinny jeans.
- How they always know where all the wires go.
- The way they look in a suit.
- How good they are at killing the bugs.
- And installing the AC window unit.
- The sound of their voice in the dark wishing us “good night.”
- The way they look holding a baby.
