Why don't men like overweight girls?

Published on by CMe

 

 

 

 

Why don't men like overweight girls?

 
 
   

Men don't like overweight women for the same reasons women don't like overweight men. For the same reason some people like blonds, some brunettes, some like short women, some like tall men. Same reason why you're attracted to some men and not others. It's not all about conditioning, its not all about the media. 

Some other thoughts from the community: 

There are many men who like overweight women. It's only the most shallow kind of person who buys into that "it's the media's fault" crap. It is far more likely to be one's personality or low self-esteem that that men find unattractive. Confidence is THE key to being irresistible. After all, if you don't like yourself, why would you expect anyone else to like you? 

What society in general considers attractive is equivalent to what is healthy. In impoverished societies that extra weight would be considered attractive. The same thing goes with tans. In our culture, at least before the cancer craze, a tan was attractive since it was a sign of an active healthy life. In the past, however, tan skin was the sign of a laborer, and was not considered attractive. 

It's not that men don't like overweight girls. It's that men, just like women, are social creatures. You probably wouldn't date a guy that most other women would consider a geek, even though you might find him attractive for one reason or another. Study after study has shown that men prefer women who have meat on their bones to those who resemble a certain hotel heiress. And study after study has shown that despite a women's body size, men prefer women who are smart, easy going, not prone to depression, are confident in themselves and their mate, etc. 

The average size woman wears a size 10 to 14. Of course, how size 14 looks on you depends much on your height. A woman 6 foot tall could weight 145 pounds be as thin as a super model. But a woman 5 foot at 145 is a little chunky. Also, men prefer women who appear to be healthy, and capable of producing healthy children as it is a man's animal instinct to reproduce his DNA. It is a known fact that if you are "morbidly obese" (and I choose that term because some doctors don't understand that simple obesity does not mean unhealthy) or too thin, you are unhealthy, and thereby not likely to either conceive, carry or give birth to a live healthy baby. Overweight doesn't always mean unhealthy just as thin doesn't always mean healthy. 

You can be a "bigger" woman and still be healthy. Your health shows in your skin, hair, nails, eyes, and attitude. Also, keep in mind that a majority of men do not marry supermodel thin women. And they don't marry women who are obsessed with their looks, whether she be obsessed with how good she looks, or obsessed with how "bad" she looks. If you're weight is causing you or could cause you some health problems, then your concentration should be on losing weight to help or prevent those problems. Once you do that, everything else, including the interest of men, will fall into place, no matter what size you are. 

Take heart ladies: a poll posted on MSN about 1-2 years ago about men's preference in women showed that American men actually prefer a woman who is somewhat meaty over the anorexic bimbo types; and this was by a clear majority in votes. 

It is definitely a cultural phenomena. In many countries, women who are "overweight" are considered desirable. Thankfully, for many women there are increasing numbers of weight diversity tolerance groups. Be confident in who you are. A slim waist may attract for a moment but a WIDE smile will enlist a life mate. 

Look at ads for beer or football, pick up a Playboy, or turn on Cinemax after about 11pm and you'll see what is culturally defined as "sexy". A man (usually younger) who objectifies women and sees them as objects of gratification is probably less likely to value a woman's other qualities over her appearance. It's not so much that men don't like overweight women, it's that men are visual creatures and "sexy" is very culturally dictated (if you don't believe that, take a course in sociology). Those aforementioned media types dictate what sexy is and overweight is not "sexy". But those are anonymous sex objects, so a man may find a larger woman sexy for her mind if he actually gets to know her. 

Men do not generally like looking at overweight girls. This does not mean they cannot like an overweight girl. Compensation is almost always possible and it can and is applied to all types of situations in life. A charismatic overweight girl has more of a shot with a man who is seeking someone to connect with than an uncharismatic beautiful girl. Similarly, this same uncharismatic beautiful girl has better chances with a shallow man seeking pure sex than does an overweight yet charismatic female. This is of course, assuming the obvious fact that many of us are products of culture and our perceptions are invariably influenced by culture. Still, our perceptions of beauty and our perceptions of a wonderful person are not the same. An overweight girl can be liked by men; however, she may find it necessary to compensate in some respects in order to compete with and surmise over her thinner female peers.

Some men actually do like overweight girls. Just be proud of who you are, realise that you are beautiful, powerful, and let your inner confidence shine through, and you will attract many men who didn't even know that they would consider a larger woman. Be bold within your own skin. (Incidentally, I am not going to lie to you, I am currently on medication to lose weight, prescribed by my GP, but that is only for health reasons. If there was no health risk with being large, I would stay as I am.) 

I'm presuming it's because we are not primarily attracted to overweight men either. Men and women are vastly different but we're so alike in many other ways. It may seem harsh but you are more likely to get noticed if you are a comfortable weight. If you are happy with the way you look you project a positive mood. That's life. Men are superficial and so are we. 

It's all very simple, women who are the correct weight for their height are healthier than fat women. This means that genetically they are stronger, are more likely to become pregnant and survive it. Result: better babies and more of them. 

A person likes to know they are with someone who's not too lazy to at least take some sense of care of themselves If they don't take care of their own body, there are reasons. Medical, depression, poor self esteem, poor health, not caring, lazy, bad habits passed down form who raised them. Maybe these are not all reasons for it, but they are many associated with it. You need to like yourself before anyone else is expected to. 

People who take care of themselves want to know they are going to be with someone else who feels the same way. Maybe they like the fact that their woman takes pride in herself and has a sense of who she is. Men who are normal find this even more sexy and a turn on. Overweight women, more than a size 10, are often suffering from mental illness or they are lazy with no personal pride. The lady on a man's arm is a sign of his own self esteem. If she is fat or obviously older than he is then the guy has problems. Sorry to sound like a pig ladies but this is the truth. Any man or woman who is not sloppy or a mess mentally wants a person to be with that is like them and men like a nice looking woman on their arm. We are visual creatures. If the babe has a terrible personality she won't usually last but decent looking men DO NOT WANT a woman who doesn't take care of herself to at least a reasonable consent and a half way decent looking man will not have limited options to pick from. 

The majority of men like all girls, thin, fat or in between. The thing is, it is harder to be slim than it is to be fat. You must work for it, live the lifestyle necessary to achieve it. Therefore, it is something a woman has worked to achieve which gives it merit. Working to make herself attractive has given her confidence. Confidence is attractive. Men are socially conditioned to prefer thin women. But, I firmly believe that if a heavy woman lives life well, cooks as well as she eats, is active and happy, then she should have no problem landing a good man. In all honesty, men do not have an exact preference, whether slim, thin, chunky chubby. Overweight falls within all those categories. Men, will find a woman attractive for many reasons other than what the scale says. I can be attracted to a thin woman or a chunky woman. If a man finds a woman attractive then it really doesn't matter. I think for this particular question we have to remove two parts.. "men" being ALL men and "overweight girls" being women who can fit under many categories. I have dated women from 100 pounds to 160 pounds and they were all very beautiful to me, they had their own figure that fit them as an individual and made them physically attractive. No two women are the same. Now I have answered this question with regards to overweight and the categories of body type that fall under being overweight. Obesity is now considered a illness here in America and has serious health risks associated with it. 

Some do. Also, it depends on your definition of over weight. I agree that partially men are conditioned to like the model types. I disagree that women should be 5'6 and 110. Men who want that better either make a lot of money, be extremely charismatic, or get used to disappointment. That sort of ideal is unrealistic and likely unhealthy. It could be said men who like really thin women like them because their commitment to such an ideal shows their commitment to serving mens desires above their own whims. Also, muscle weighs more than fat so you don't just want to consider total weight (like a figure of 110) but total percent body fat. 

More importantly though, most people are drawn to confidence, and people who perceive themselves to be overweight are often lacking in self-confidence. Realize your other qualities, or if you can't get past it find some way to lose the weight. Many times obesity and/or over-eating are related mental disorder, just like anorexia and bulimia. 

And the most common disorder is depression. It is nothing to be ashamed of as it affects millions of regular people, but if you are suffering from depression or anything similar you will want to seek help whether from a network of friends and family or professional help. 

If you are depressed because of your weight, it is hard to lose it because depression makes the ambition to exercise difficult to muster and the alluring of filling the pain of your depression that way you fill a hunger. If you cannot be comfortable with the you that you are (or if you doctor tells you that there are serious health risks related to your current weight) join a support group. Whether you watch Oprah, pay a service, belong to an on-line community, or a enlist a group of friends families and neighbors, find a way to feel supported in being the wonderful you that you are and realizing that if you want to lose weight you can. Just don't obsess about what you think men think and think for yourself whatever it is that you think about it. 

Use your other qualities! Wear make-up. Dress nice. Fix your hair different. SMILE. They will notice.


Men are visually stimulated. In the beginning everything had to do with survival of the fittest. So a woman with broad hips, large breasts meant that she will probably carry and deliver a child well. Being overweight is a sign of in activity/POSSIBLE laziness, who wants that when we are trying to survive? Fast forward into the future, with your modern air brushes, makeup etc. and all men see are these made up air brushed clean looking women with hard muscular bods. That appeals to the basic self preservation/child producing need, but for what ever reason the made up fake girl also looks appealing. So the media and culture have influenced modern man to think that you have to not only be not fat, with a body that looks healthy enough for work and child bearing, but be flawlessly beautiful -- and fat is a flaw. 

Still, not all men see fat as a flaw. And we do need to take in to consideration the saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and know that every culture has a so called different view of what is and isn't pretty, (Though I think we could take what we Americans consider a beautiful girl, and show her face to the world and there would be a general consensus that she is beautiful, and visa versa). 

I lost a large amount of weight and am not getting asked out constantly and turning heads . With all this you would think happiness would come but no, all the guys hitting on me are vulgar, nasty boys. They sit around making fun of fat women on the beach while they have fat rolls hanging out. So maybe you should consider that the guys that don't like overweight women aren't anything to be worrying about anyways. I would rather be obese than put up with the sexual harassment that comes with being thin. 

Men like different things at different times in their lives. What is important to them now may not be important later. Younger men, for the most part, don't really know what they want. Socially they may want a "Barbie" for their friends' to admire. Regardless, you shouldn't change yourself for anyone, but if you are not happy then you should consider some changes. Weight in general can be unhealthy on your body and emotionally unhealthy. I know what it's like to be fat. I weigh about 320 and I am beautiful. I notice that my friends who are all thin and hard bodied have the same problems finding dates that fat girls do. However, I do think it is easier for a man to date a thin woman, because society does say that is more attractive and I think it's hard for men to set themselves apart and risk being ridiculed. 

The thing is all about confidence. No one wants a person with a low self esteem. Also, there is a difference between being a few pounds overweight and being morbidly obese. If a person is obese, no one is going to be attracted to that person because of several factors. One that would keep me from dating an obese person would be because there would be a greater chance of that person being taken away from me if I fell in love with them. 

If you are a woman of size, needing the permission or the validation from any human to secure your confidence in being sexy is a false sense of security. If you are woman start from there, we have innate ability to render a man helpless! But in order to do so you have embraced the WOMAN you are, despite the package she comes in. Women of size get over the question of your sexiness and become it mind, body and soul. The answer to this question begin with you and that's what matters. It's all genetics kids. We have been "programmed" as we evolved to be attracted to the healthiest and the strongest. 

There is a certain waist hip ratio that we unconsciously see as healthy and ideal for child bearing. Larger women can fit this ration. It depends on how the weight is distributed. 

Men do not only like thin women. This is a misconception that has been brought into light by women who are not confident in themselves. Most men don't have a certain type. They like women of all sizes and shapes. Our bodies, whether large or small are who we are. If people -- not just men -- cannot accept us and praise us for us, then they are not worth knowing or having in our lives. Everyone no matter what they look like externally is beautiful. It is ignorance that makes us ugly. 

Firstly, a common misconception women seem to have brought upon themselves is the importance of weight in a relationship. Younger people in Grade school and middle school and sometimes high school (Specifically depending on the maturity of the individual) Will not date an overweight girl. This is, in psychology, referred to as "Social Dating", As a generalization, immature individuals have tenancies to date for looks, Mature individual date for the good reasons. That is a generalization about 80 85% correct. But the problem is, today, Women striving for thinness. 

Most men want NOTHING to do with those overly thin women, because it reflects on the self confidence of the individual, The personality, and through mutual preferences (She puts herself at risk to be thin) This reflects on what she is seeking in a man (Looks looks looks.) However, this is subjective to circumstances, as some woman are naturally thin, so basically, this question isn't a good one to ask if you're looking for a serious relationship. If you follow the traces of relationships and their psychological patterns, you will find that relationships that began based on looks or "Social Dating" tend to fail or dissolve anyway. You've heard it before, you'll hear it again, Be Yourself, it works better than anyone who hasn't tried it could imagine. Being yourself makes every piece of your personality fall into an order that others will find more desirable It boils down to choice. Everyone has a preference and if someone doesn't like you then move and quit worrying about one person, or two, or three, or a hundred. If you like being overweight, be overweight, find someone who likes you the way you are and quit bitchin'. Accept who you are or change it. 

It doesn't matter who likes you and who doesn't if you aren't happy with you somewhere on the inside. If you hold yourself in high regard, well others will follow suit. But I do believe that part of the reason SOME men might not care for the overweight girl is because sometimes being overweight is like carrying around extra emotional baggage. Just like dating a woman who is freshly divorced, hasn't worked out her issues, or the woman who cheats, or whatever. It doesn't have to be overweight, but that is just like any other kind of emotional baggage, unless you start to deal with the reasons, and start to deal with getting some self esteem, and feeling better, and treating yourself better, no guy is going to want to deal with that. But on the flip side of that, there are confident overweight women, who do feel ok with who they are what they are about and where they are at in life. 

Women go for guys that are tall and well built. So why is it a "crime" for men to seek out women that are sleek and smooth. To the women out there: When was the last time that you found a short guy attractive? Very few, no doubt, just like there are very few guys that go for overweight women. I am so tired of this double standard; it is wrong for a man to want an attractive lady, but the women can shun guys that are short/fat/no money. 

Very overweight = not in control of her appetite = bad hygiene emotional problem; clingy in relationships; no fun; and/or whatever. Fat is hardly ever the only problem, we generalize, like women, to save time.


Don't give me the crap about how men are "conditioned" by the media. The media simply presents what people like, they don't create it. There is no media conspiracy to make people attracted to skinnies. Otherwise people wouldn't, themselves, be getting fatter all the time. 

Being overweight is a changeable issue, sometimes being overweight is determined by the inescapable family skeleton, but you could still change the way you are outwardly projecting yourself. So if you are overweight and eating a double quarter pounder, you surely aren't caring for yourself. If you don't like the way you are treated because of your image- change it if that's the attention you want, you can't expect to get the attention women have been working for years to get. Take care of yourself and wear clothing that flatters your body and be yourself, if you are a slob that's how people will view you. First impressions are everything- no matter how thin or big you are. It is all on the way you carry yourself, if you carry yourself like you don't like yourself then why would others, make people realize that big is beautiful. When you start to show the utmost confidence in yourself others will start to see you in a different light. I carry myself like I am beautiful and that is how others will see me. But their are all different types of men out their, some want only heavyset and some want only smaller women. Just have confidence in yourself and you will start to see. Never let anyone tell you that you are ugly because you are heavy or that no one wants you because you are heavy. Look if you got it flaunt it, show the best qualities, if it is your smile always keep it on, dress nice and fitted, don't wear something that will drown your body out or make it look like you can fit about 50 other people in it, just because you are overweight don't mean you have to dress like you cover 50 people. Just show people your true self and they will come to like you. 

Men do not like overweight girls, like women do not like short guys. For example, most beautiful women will not look at bloke (even if she is attracted to him) if he's too short. A fairly good looking man even at 5 ft 8 will have to try harder than a counterpart at 6ft 2 of equivalent attractiveness. Flowing from this observation, a pretty 5ft 5 girl at 140lbs will not be popular as an equivalent 5ft5 girl weighing 115. 

Whilst relationships are inevitably a compromise it should be noted that human beings are extremely superficial and do indeed judge a book by its cover. Individuals are picky because they can afford to be it's that simple. I often find that overweight women have low self esteem and deep seated confidence issues (even if they will not admit it). This is similar to short guys. 

Because most men are shallow and don't let themselves get far enough into a relationship past the physical part to enjoy and appreciate what a woman is or is not. They believe that sex will be better if they visualize they are sleeping with a Barbie doll. Sadly still, most men today, at least at first, don't want an intellectual or emotional relationship, they want a physical relationship and it's hard for them to visualize being physical with someone that doesn't fit their stereotype, thus, they never get that far. Men are not the only ones that don't like overweight girls or people. The vast majority of American people are fat phobic. They have preconceived ideas about fat people, that they are lazy, unmotivated, eat too much, are sloppy, don't like to do anything physical, are unhealthy, don't take care of themselves or "have issues." Sometimes this is true and sometimes not, but it rarely is decided based upon a scale. 

Women (and men) ARE fatter today than ever before. This is well documented. So when you hear what size the average woman in America is, doesn't mean that's an appropriate size. It means that most are overweight. The biggest question is, "why do women WANT to be overweight?" People who treat their bodies with respect and care expect those important to them to do the same. If I hear once more how not liking fatties is "shallow," I'm going to scream! It's not shallow, it's biology.


 

 





 
 
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Comment on this post

Emma 11/03/2009 16:10


Very good article, i love it. Thanks !!


canadian52 08/31/2009 20:48

Wow. That was very profound on you. Here is another list of what men want in general from women. Would love your input..
http://kenbesseder.wordpress.com/2009/08/24/the-rules-we-are-still-back-in-high-school/