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| || || | This weekend I attended the Orange County Fair in Southern California. As a normal guy, I couldn't help but notice all of the beautiful women walking around the fair in their nice summer outfits.
On the surface, it would appear that Orange County is a single man's paradise. But for many of my male friends in this area, the reality of dating here is not as wonderful as it may seem. The challenge that my guy friends face in this area is finding an unspoiled single woman they can relate to who is beautiful both inside and out.
But single women in this area don't have it so easy either. With so many beautiful women being seen around Orange County, they face the challenge of intense competition on the basis of physical appearance. And while there is no denying that looks at important in appealing to single men, the problem with Orange County single women is their lack of understanding about what makes them highly attractive to men over time.
In order to develop lasting appeal to men in a non-competitive way, be sure to develop fully these five facets of a woman's persona:
- THE HOTTIE.
This is the sexy, feminine part of a woman that makes her desirable to men. Being a "hottie" involves how she looks, moves, and acts. In terms of looks, our popular culture largely defines what makes a woman physically attractive. In addition, a smart woman should aim to be physically fit and have a healthy attitude about her body. A "hottie" acts with confidence, playfulness, sensuality, and mystique. She dresses in a way that accentuates her highlights tastefully. She moves elegantly with attractive and feminine hand gestures, facial expressions, and body postures.
Most importantly, the woman who is most largely characterized as a "hottie" is the first one who grabs the attention of men. If you want a man to be really into you from the start, then make a strong impression with your "hottie" element early on. Being a "hottie" isn't everything when it comes to love. But having a "hottie" element in your personality mix makes you more attractive to men and may clearly set you apart from your immediate competition. When the moment is appropriate, don't hesitate to give your dating prospects a good glimpse of your "hottie" ingredient in action.
- THE SWEETIE.
This is the side of a woman that brings warmth, kindness, sensitivity, and peacefulness to a relationship. The "sweetie" is understanding, supportive, and caring woman, which are outstanding qualities to have for long-term love relationships. In the short-run, the "sweetie" may be overlooked because of a competing "hottie." The "sweetie" may occasionally hear men say, "I would never want to hurt you" because they may like her more like a sister or close friend than as a lover. But it is the "sweetie" element that men adore and like so it should never be discounted or underappreciated. While a man's physical desires naturally wane, his enjoyment of a true "sweetie" always remains intact. A "hottie" who doesn't have a "sweetie" element within her is a prime candidate for an unfortunate love-hate relationship.
- THE PAL.
What good is it for a couple to have common interests, similar values, and mutual attraction, if they can't stand each other? In my years as a professional tour director, I have frequently come across vacationing couples who always seem to get on each other's nerves. I often wonder how miserable their lives have been over all the years. It seems these partners really don't get along, and they treat each other with hostility rather than with the warmth and kindness of a dear friend. True friends are usually patient, kind, supportive, compassionate, and fun to be around. On the other hand, people in difficult relationships will typically treat their partners with an assortment of controlling demands, insensitive remarks, and unfair judgments. A strong "pal" side of a woman allows her to be a great companion who can easily get along with a man's friends and family. She naturally becomes a part of his social lifestyle. She is someone that he can enjoy taking anywhere, under most any circumstance, regardless of whom else is there. The woman who has a strong "Pal" element can expect to spend more time with a man, and she will have a better chance of expanding their relationship into a more full-time true love partnership.
- THE PRIZE.
Men often value a woman based partly on what other men think. As silly as it might sound, this behavior is based on a psychological element identified as "social proof" by Dr. Robert B. Cialdini in the book, Influence: The New Psychology of Modern Persuasion. The principle behind "social proof" is that we unconsciously will feel and do the same as others around us. In the case of "The Prize," a woman who is desired by other men will have a higher perceived value. If a woman isn't desired by others, then that naturally makes a man wonder if there might be something wrong with her as a potential love partner. When a woman is highly "prized," then a man will recognize his window of opportunity with her. He'll know that if he doesn't act quickly, he probably won't get a chance with her again. This man's fear is that she will be won over by the next guy who tries to get her attention. The fear of a lost opportunity causes men to pursue quicker and harder with a woman who is in demand.
- THE PERSON.
This part of a woman is respected for her accomplishments, talents, knowledge, expertise, and strength of character. A sensitive man is in awe of any woman who can consistently demonstrate her strengths as an overall responsible, mature, trustworthy, and loving human-being. This kind of respect becomes a vital ingredient to making any relationship work in the long term, whether it's a social, professional, or romantic. When a woman enters the dating world without a strong "Person" element, she will likely come across men who treat her like a doormat. They will be inclined to ignore the loving individual that she truly is inside.
By integrating these five aspects into your personality mix, you will become an irresistible love partner that men will want to have in their lives. This is the only kind of woman who will have the impact, versatility, dimension, depth, and endurance to keep a man's ever-changing desires satisfied over the long haul.
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